Thursday, June 4, 2009

The View From My Window

I'm looking out the window at golfers. I am so happy to be where I am at this minute. As I have written before in this blog, my beloved mother-in-law passed away a few years ago. Before she died, she and my father-in-law bought a house on the golf course where The Husband works. She spent a lot of time lovingly fixing it up and decorating it. Every inch of the house is still filled with her spirit.
For the first year after she died, I couldn't walk into the house without crying. It was a sad reminder of her unfinished business...a reminder that she was taken from us too soon. My father-in-law felt the same way. When he would visit from New Jersey, he would try to stay at the house, but it depressed him. He felt the loss more profoundly here than anywhere else.

But right before school let out, The Husband and I were here one day just checking on things when it occurred to me that it didn't feel sad anymore. It felt good...and it felt like where I wanted to be. So we decided to spend some time here this summer, and it is wonderful. We are literally two minutes from The Husband's office, so we get to be near him...and he gets to avoid the 45 minute drive to and from work each day. There is a terrific pool and work out room, so we get to take advantage of that too. But let me say right now with absolute certainty and selfishness that being able to sit in the little sun room off the bedroom and write while I look out the window is the best part. The view is so beautiful. The Husband tells me we are on the ninth whole, but all I know is that I could sit here and stare out the window forever. Every room in the house has a spectacular view, which means I can enjoy it while I am writing, cooking, cleaning...well,you get the idea.

The other nice thing about it is the strong feeling that my mother-in-law is near. I feel her in every room. I find little notes that she has written in drawers and it makes me cry. I find half empty bottles of perfume that I never knew she wore and it intrigues me, because as well as I thought I knew her, I am still learning about her. I find boxes of recipes that she has torn out from magazines, and I intend to try each one since she didn't get a chance to. My mother-in-law had more energy, passion and spirit than most people. I am hoping to channel some of that wonderful spirit by being here.

So I'll sit here and continue to write this morning. It's raining gently, but the golfers continue to go by. The Husband has made the 2 minute drive to the office, the Boy is still asleep, and the Little One is exploring somewhere outside. All is right with the world...

Until tomorrow, when I will continue to enjoy the peace of our summer vacation...and remember Rose....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

:) i really like this one. sounds so cozy. and it is. i wish you guys were always here. and ..i miss grandma. love u

Anonymous said...

I like this but it is too much about france.