Monday, April 19, 2010

On Not Being the Cat Waiting for the Bird...

I was looking out the window this morning at our cat. He'd finished his breakfast and requisite morning scope of the neighborhood, searching for a second meal.Finally, he settled into his favorite spot...underneath the big tree in the back yard with the bird feeder. He will wait there all day long, silently staring up at the feeder for any sign of a bird. Now I have never seen him actually get one (and I hope I never do), but it doesn't stop him. He sits there day after day hoping to land a big catch...

Rewind the weekend a bit, and I was chastising myself this morning. As previously discussed in this blog, I am the middle child. What comes with this is an annoying tendency to constantly defend anything and everything. Charles Manson? Probably abused as a child. Hitler? Must have been ill. Sadaam Hussein? Bad mom. See? I can bring up an excuse for anyone. And I often have. The Husband often refuses to have a discussion with me for this reason. And to be quite honest, I can often annoy myself. I will be having a conversation with someone, and the voice in my head says "Why do you insist on doing that?".............However.....

I noticed this weekend that I have been doing it less and less. The Boy is on a new team this year, one filled with people I don't know very well. The Husband said I must be social and friendly. I must not sit and read a book. So I have tried. But what I have noticed is a tendency to "sit and wait for the bird". What I mean is, do you ever notice how many conversations tend to revolve around gossip or criticism? How many times that instead of discussing something positive or hopeful, it is easy to fall into a cynical or even critical way of talking. I was thinking about it this morning, and I think it is the result of lazy conversation. It's just easy to fall into the habit of complaining or criticizing something. For example, we played a very early game this weekend. We had to be at the field at 7:30, which meant rising at 6:30. Granted, our boys had just returned from their DC field trip and were tired...but come on...they are 12. It's not like we were throwing them out in the fields to work or something. They were coming to play baseball...and if you are on a travel baseball team, surely that is exciting. But instead of focusing on the fact that it was a beautiful day at the park, we all seem to be complaining about being tired...hungry...concessions stands...whatever.

Fast forward to yesterday and Little One's shining performance in her play. I found myself commiserating with a friend over some minor issues.....we had been set painters for the last few productions, and with 8 kids between us, we both have a tendency to need organisation. Unfortunately, in the local theater world, this does not always happen. But after the show was over, and the new Director was thanking everyone for their help, I felt a wash of shame come over me. Good grief, these people had just spent months putting on a major production. One that we are fortunate to have in such a small town....and all I could do was find the problems..."wait on the bird"...

I'm gonna work on this. I need to get back to my "middle child" syndrome, because in the end, I'd rather be defending than criticizing. I'd rather lift up than put down. And often times, all it takes is one person pointing out the good...and then everyone else follows....

Until tomorrow...and good words and thoughts for everyone....

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