Just Shoot Me Now, 'Cause I Watched the After Show, After Show

All day yesterday I tried to rid myself of all memories of the previous night's viewing of The Bachelor. I worked on a very serious article on hearing loss, studied the elements with my with my son for a science test, and helped my little girl complete her state project on North Dakota. The problem is, I was overwhelmed (and this time I mean it) with responses to yesterday's blog on the show. These responses ranged from criticism of the subject matter (have you really sunk to discussing this?) to strong opinion (how could he dump Melissa?) to funny (it's no different than the World Wrestling..all staged).

So last night, I am watching American Idol with Gabrielle, and feeling quite guilt-free, because obviously as a mother, I have to do this. We have our routine. We sit on the brown couch together and she writes down all of the people that she likes so that I can call in after the show. Unfortunately, every single week she mistakenly writes down the text numbers instead of the phone numbers, and as anyone following this blog knows....that makes it impossible for me to vote.

Everything was going well until halfway through Idol, I get an e-mail from an un-named source telling me that there is an "After the Show, After Show" of the Bachelor coming on at 10:00. This throws me a bit, but I quickly pull out my serious reading in order to put it out of my mind. At 10:00, the kids are in bed and Tony is once again pretending to work on his computer, and as I go to put on the Discovery Channel, I casually check ABC and see our good-natured host Chris Harrison describing the "amazing" show coming up where we get to see how Jason and Molly are doing 6 weeks later...and also get to hear who the new Bachelorette will be. I glance at Tony to get his reaction...and he is actually riveted by Chris's remarks, so I lay down the remote and pretend that we will just have it on in the background.

So what we learn is that Jason and Molly are very happy together, though tormented by America's opinions about the way Jason handled the whole thing. Melissa has turned down a chance to once again humiliate herself by coming on to discuss it. Tony is once again strangely obsessed by the black leather dress that Melissa wore in the final show, somehow finding that reason enough for Jason to go with Molly. I myself am secretly thinking that Jason seems like a pretty decent guy and he and Molly seem genuinely happy and I hope they make it. STOP!... This is how they suck you in!... It is a reality show! I need to get out while I still can....however, I do wait until I hear who the next Bachelorette is. Tony thinks it will be the recently-dumped Melissa, but alas no, it is Jillian, an evidently popular yet eliminated lady whom Jason dumped early on. Now Jillian is lovely and articulate and totally willing to own that this is a "strange way to find love". She also vows that there will be no hot tub scenes, thus earning my immediate respect, but also guaranteeing lower male viewership.

Tony is meanwhile making the vulgar gesture he makes when he finds someone to be a little insincere. He asks "You are going to watch the Bachelorette, aren't you?" Well, I don't know yet. I have a couple of months to make up my mind. If I do, I might not admit to it. But in the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Tomorrow I promise to return to tales of the Hair Salon. I have a very disturbing story to tell . The adjoining stylist was cutting the hair of a very sweet older gentleman (pushing 70) and she was trying to explain to him how she was going to cut his hair. She told him he looked like some country dude named Wagoner. She turned to me and asked if I knew who she was talking about. Being from Tennessee, I unfortunately knew...and the little old man obviously did too. What I did not pick up on was the steely glare he was giving me in hopes I would not say it out loud...

But that is a story for another day. so until tomorrow...