In Memory of Rose

March 31. Today is the 2 year anniversary of my mother-in-law Rose's death. It kind of snuck up on me this year. The first year after her death, I spent 6 months putting together and publishing a sort of memoir dedicated to her. I guess it was part of my grieving process because I was absolutely consumed with getting it done. By the time a year had passed, I had completed the book and felt some closure.

This year feels different. Rose was in my life for a short span of 12 years, but she probably had one of the greatest impacts on my life of anyone. I've also lost my mom and dad over the last few years, and their loss was absolutely heart-wrenching. But with Rose, I also lost a good friend.

I wrote in one of my recent blogs about the characteristics I look for in my friends. Humor, kindness and passion. Rose exemplified all of these qualities. We laughed together constantly. She had a quick wit and a sharp tongue, and that made for a lot of fun. She never met a person she couldn't or wouldn't help. She was a great teacher in this area. Even in the last few years of her life when she was battling (in every sense of the word) cancer, she was always more concerned about others and their problems. She rarely let the conversation focus on her situation, and when she did, it was in a dismissive "Don't worry about me" way. She lived passionately. She loved her children, grandchildren, travel and beauty.

She was a true Italian matriarch in the family. She taught me many lessons in life, including the following:
1) Don't be a cry-baby.
2)Stand up for yourself.
3)Appreciate the little things like a good cup of coffee or a sunset.
4) Always have PLENTY of food ready when you have guests.
5) Always have plenty of good food available...period.
6) Don't focus on the negative...remember all of your blessings.

The list goes on and on and on. The thing is, I still think about her everyday. Whether I am drinking out of a coffee mug she gave me or wearing a great pair of earrings she gave me. Whether I am cooking a recipe she sent me or staring at a picture she took for me. She is still so intertwined in my life. I miss her friendship more than anything. I miss the fact that she adored me. I miss the fact that she always took my side in an argument with Tony. I miss the way we could shop for hours and she would always encourage me to buy what I wanted...regardless of the price. I miss her reaction when I would come out in an outfit she loved. I miss, I miss, I miss...

And so today, I honor and think about Rose. As I go through my day, I will consciously say a prayer of thanks that I got to know her and have her in my life. And more than that, I will laugh and cry and remember to try and appreciate those that are still here, because life is precious and fragile.

So until tomorrow, April 1, when I will be watching my back, but looking forward to spring...