Just Do It

A few weeks ago, I was watching a movie, and as I often do, I noticed the beautiful artwork in the background. I enjoyed it so much that I researched the paintings. For the first time in a long time, I felt the urge to pull out my paints. I decided I would paint something similar to one of the paintings in the movie, but put my own spin on it. I had the idea in my mind for several days, but I procrastinated doing the sketch. This is the same paralysis that sets in every time I begin a painting or an article. The insecurity that makes me ask myself "Can I do it again?"

It reminded me of my first art project in college. As I've said before, I began my college "career" at 16 as an art major at a small liberal arts college. In one of my classes, we were to sketch an idea, and then create the sketch in some kind of media. I was going to sculpt something, though I had very little experience in sculpting. There was a guy in my class...we will call him Bob Valentine (because that was his name). Bob was a 5th year senior. He was a terrific wrestler and football player, and he was one of several "Jersey" boys who were at this school. He was also the most talented artist I had ever met. He sat next to me in drawing class, and as we would both sketch the model for the day, I would be mesmerized by his drawing. From time to time, he would reach over and make a "correction" on my sketch (out of sight of the professor)...and then we would continue. I learned more from his "corrections" than I did from the professor.

Anyway, I decided to do this sketch of praying hands, with the idea of sculpting the hands after I perfected the sketch. But I struggled with the drawing, never getting it the way I wanted it. One evening, I bumped into Bob in the student center (this tells you a lot about my college days) and he took a look at the sketch. He gave me some suggestions, and told me to meet him there the next night. This went on for several evenings, until finally he said to me "What are you waiting for? The sketch is fine. You're putting off the sculpting." I realized he was right. I was afraid of not being able to accomplish what I had in mind...so I just kept putting it off.

After all of these years and many, many paintings, I still get the same feeling. Once I finally sat down the other day and did my sketch, I was very pleased with it. The Boy examined it and brought in his friends to look at it. Little One, who rarely bestows praise, said "Wow, you're pretty good." The Husband just nodded...and a few days later he noted "You know, it's not going to paint itself, is it?"

Well, not it's not. So today, I am going to force myself to put the first brush stroke on the canvas and get it started. Who cares if it's perfect, right? (Well, I do) But at least it will be a start. A reminder that the only way to accomplish something is...like the Nike ad says....Just Do It...

By the way, I did eventually finish sculpting those praying hands. They weren't perfect. They weren't as spectacular as Bob Valentine's project. But I think I made an A-..and I gained a bit of confidence.

So until tomorrow, when hopefully the painting will begin to take shape....

On Being Out of Touch on So Many Levels...

I'm all about my routine. I find a sense of security in going through the same little rituals each day. Nothing OCD or anything, but just a certain comfort level that I get from continuity. So today, I'll admit it. I'm thrown. The Husband carted off my laptop when I when I went to the zoo last week. It was evidently "infected with viruses". But all I know is, it was working. When I returned from the zoo, it was not in it's spot. The "spot" is my little area that is designated as my "office". This is the spot I begin every morning, checking my mail and channeling through the news of the day. The spot where I return after taking the kids to school to write something hopefully creative and inspiring. The spot where I write this blog for the first 25 minutes of my day...
Anyway, I was promised that it would be back today...but when I flipped on the little switch...nothing. I glanced around to see everyone else woring on theirs...The Boy, the Husband...but mine DOES NOT WORK. The Husband was kind enough to call the technician who supposedly fixed it. After a brief exchange of ideas, I heard the dreaded words. "I'll bring it back to you tomorrow." That means another day of being out of touch. Another day where The Husband sends out e-mails that he knows will annoy me since he knows I cannot respond. Not that I want to. I'm in cave mode lately. This is a stage I pass through occasionally when I prefer to remain silent. But still...I like to know I can respond if the mood strikes me.

If you work from home, I'm sure you can relate to this. I leave my mail on every morning for 2 hours. This is the time when I correspond with friends, family and blog readers. This is 2 hours of the day when I don't try and stay focused. I write during this time, but if someone sends something funny, I'll take a break and respond. I look forward to this time of day.

I was a fish out of water this morning. I have a canvas set up in my office. The sketch for the painting is 90% complete. All I have to do is BEGIN. I thought this would be a good day to start it. But I just stared at it for an hour. I just couldn't get going. I organized my paints. cleaned my brushes...all of those little things I do to kill time when I've "got nothing". No creative juices flowing.

Unfortunately, I'm feeling the same way tonight. I don't like to "pre-blog". What I think I am going to write about at night is rarely what I end up blogging about in the morning. So tonight, as I check my mail and write this blog on The Husband's laptop...I feel a little disconnect. To those of you who follow the blog...give me a couple of days to regroup. As you're probably thinking as you read this...I'm off my game. I need my comfort zone....I need my OWN computer....

So until tomorrow...or the next day...when hopefully my computer will re-boot along with my creativity...Who knows...maybe I'll start the painting....

The Big Zoo Trip

22 hours after I boarded the little bus with 9 other parents, to follow the big bus of 50 kids, 2 teachers and 1 principal, I stepped off and back into the real world. It almost felt like it had been a dream...and some parts had been very, very scary....

The ride down was like the high school bus. Guys in the back and girls in the front...except for a few brave women who were willing to listen to the men discuss a magazine cover of Shakira in graphic terms. I felt fortunate to be sitting with the mother of Little One's BFF...she dove into the seat next to me and begged me to stay with her the entire time...ok, maybe it was the other way around. Either way, we chatted and ate our sack dinners and tried to ignore the loud conversation in back...At one point, my friend whispered, "I could have gone my whole life without hearing that."

Earlier in the day, a friend had suggested that I could find airplane bottles of vodka at the package store to add to my sack dinner....However, it was imperative that I be at my best since I was chaperoning, so I stuck to diet coke...

It was dark when we finally reached the zoo, so we dove right into the 'night crawler' activities. We examined swamp water, used night vision glasses to watch kangaroos, and petted chinchillas. The kids had a blast. At the mid-point, we were suppose to have a "snack". I was absolutely starving, having skimped on my sack lunch dinner. Unfortunately, I forgot it wasn't snack time at the Ritz...there were no homemade cookies and tea...but rather watered down lemonade out of an old cooler and a pack of stale animal crackers (get it? animal crackers at the zoo). I tried to get a second pack of crackers, but they removed the box before I could casually sneak over.

Around 10:30, we returned to the big building where we were to sleep. I was a bit discouraged to see that most of us, men, women and kids...would be sleeping together in one room together. Little One and BFF scouted out an excellent spot in the back corner for our sleeping bags. Principal had kindly brought air mattresses for the chaperones, so we set up our area like good little campers, and then went to the communal bathroom to get ready for bed. I was shocked at the sight of several 4th grade girls primping for bed like they were dressing for a party. Of course, they were sleeping in the same room as the boys...but still......I was relieved that Little one refused to brush her teeth and her hair.

After everyone had climbed in their sleeping bags and the teacher had told her amusing bedtime story, light were out. I was so tired. Little One and BFF were already breathing heavy...And then it started. One of the dads began snoring...and not just your normal snoring, but your 'rock the rafters' snoring. Then one of the little girls began coughing...and not soft coughing, but the kind of coughing that sounds like you are losing a lung. And listen, before you think "gee, she should be more compassionate...it's a little girl"....just stop. At 3:00 in the morning, when you are listening to snoring and coughing in tandem...you are allowed to lose a bit of compassion. At 4:00, I cried. Really. I have never wanted to be home so badly in my whole life. Then I reminded myself that there were soldiers fighting wars and homeless people freezing in the streets...and I dried my sissy-girl tears and dozed off for about 30 minutes...

The teacher came in singing at 7:00. I felt delirious..but I knew if I could just hang on, there would be coffee shortly. We dressed quickly...packed our bags and loaded the bus. Then we headed to breakfast. The zoo staff reviewed the eating rules...including how we should not waste food and recycle everything. When they finished their talk, the adults raced to the coffee pot. Then I went to check on Little One. Now usually, she eats 3 bites of a pancake for breakfast. So what had she chosen?? 2 muffins, cereal and juice. I cringed, knowing that she would take 3 bites and leave the rest...and the staff would be glaring....So I did what any self-respecting mother would do...I finished every bit of her left overs.

Stuffed and exhausted, we headed out for our morning tour. We had a terrific guide. Justin was about 25, very knowledgeable, but even more important...funny. The tour was like a good Disney movie...80% for the kids..20% for the adults. From time to time, he would walk back to the adults and tell us something so funny that I would literally belly-laugh. After the tour, we broke onto our groups for an hour of free time. My group wanted to hit the gift shop. This was fine, except for the one girl who had about $50, but thought she had $300. She would bring various combinations of "stuff" to me and ask me if she 'had enough". After much editing, she finally settled on her "stuff". We headed to the meeting area, ate our sack lunches...and boarded the bus....

On the way home, the dads gave a play-by-play of their day...Does anyone ever notice how men can exaggerate their importance in any situation?? ..

Upon returning to the school, I literally said a prayer of thanks. It had been a fun trip for the kids...and I was truly glad to have been part of it...and truly glad to be home....

I didn't get to write about it that night because my computer is on the blink. The Husband offered me his computer to write...as long as I would let him edit......uh, NO. So a day later, I snuck in and "borrowed" it to get this written...

So until Monday, when hopefully my computer will be 'healthy" again...and I will have recovered from the big Zoo trip....

"Field trips Are When You go About 10,000 Miles on a Bus, and You All get Sick." Charlie Brown

Well, the Big Day is here. At 4:00 today, Little One and I will board the bus and head for the overnight trip to the zoo. (Actually, Little One will go on the big bus, and the other parents and I will follow on the short bus...) Now, we are eating our sack dinners on the bus so that when we arrive at the zoo, we can plunge into our activities....The zoo is providing a "snack" tonight and breakfast in the morning. (This will be called the "Overnight Trip to the Zoo Diet").

I know I sound terrible...Little One said "Aren't you looking forward to going?" Well, I am, sort of. I mean, I have no problem with the zoo part...it is just the overnight part that kind of bothers me. I am not just not a camper type of girl. I like my bed. I like my bathroom. I like my privacy. Little One kind of hit it on the head when she asked "Do you think anyone will smell or snore?" The apple does not fall far from the tree....

Now, I like animals...I really do. We have a 14 year old Doberman and 2 cats. The dog is The Husband's (the story for another blog) and the kids each have a cat. But who do we think takes care of these pets? Who cleans up after the totally incontinent doberman? Who feeds all of them at 6:30 every morning? You would be correct if you guessed me. The point is, I love them....even though they annoy me. On another fascinating note, The Husband is what we can refer to as the "Cat Whisperer". Every night around 9:00, The Husband says to The Boy "The cats are hungry for a snack." And every night, The Boy replies "Mom already fed them"....To which The Husband replies "Just do it!" When I ask The Husband how he knows this little tidbit of information, he just says he "senses" that they are hungry. Then he himself proceeds to the kitchen to get a little snack....Maybe there is some sort of analogy to be found here....

So that is it for this morning...I have to pack my flashlight and poncho. A friend reminded me this morning that the kids have more fun when the parents are laid back and let them have fun....This only made me feel sorry for my group....

Until tomorrow, when the blog will have to be written tomorrow night, because I will be on 'safari' in the morning....

If God Were a Liberal, We Wouldn't Have the Ten Commandments, but the Ten Suggestions Instead.......

The election results are in from New York, New Jersey and Virginia. So what do they mean? Well, it depends on who is doing the analyzing. In a real shocker, the mainstream networks are emphasizing the Democrat's win in NY. They are touting the fact that Joe Biden spent 10 minutes there talking to 150 people, while Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and Fred Thompson stumped to huge crowds...yet the Dems won.

But they are not talking about New Jersey and Virginia, which were Republican sweeps. Now, you can hear about these on that Fair and Balanced Fox News. And in their defense, they do have their Democrat analysts on trying to downplay the whole thing. According to the Democrats, New Jersey was poorly run by John Corzine (the dem) and that was the only reason for the defeat. Now they don't want to talk about how New Jersey has been a political mess for years, yet the dems have always been in control. They also do not want to mention how President Obama campaigned there for Corzine 3 times in the last week, and recorded those thrilling robo-calls asking for support. In the robo-call, he calls Corzine his "good friend". Wow...if someone is my good friend, I don't chalk up their loss to "doing a pitiful job".

As for Virginia, it's a little more interesting. The Republicans won easily...Govenor, Lt. Govenor, attorney general. Now the Dems (in a real reach here) are saying that Virginia traditionally picks against the party in power in these mid term elections. What they are not saying is that one year ago, the President won Virginia by 6 points...and yesterday they lost by double digits. That is a huge swing in one year. Now the reasons behind this remain unclear.

The most interesting analysis of the night came from that Frank Luntz guy on Fox. He is the fellow who puts together focus groups and asks their opinions. The Virginia focus group was fascinating. Out of about 20 people, 3/4 voted for the Republican. The rest were African-Americans who were very defensive about what the loss said about Obama. A few people said they were trying to send Obama and the congress a message. One guy was trying to send Nancy Pelosi a message. But most of them were just concerned for the future of Virginia and thought that the republican would be a better choice.

I cannot watch the mainstream media on days like today. Their bias is so blatant that any real news is impossible. I also get disgusted with Fox, though. When they come on with the headlines at 7:00am, and there is no mention of NY going to the dems...the bias is no less disappointing. Now granted, if you hang in there, they will bring on some people from both sides to discuss it...but the presentation is transparent.

A good friend of mine likes Glenn Beck. She points out to me that he does a great job finding and presenting things that the major news networks ignore. Because of how much I respect and agree with her opinions, I try to watch him occasionally. But I find him to be so nasty and sarcastic...and toxic...that any real information he offers gets lost in his presentation. He is a bit like the National Enquirer...chances are there is some truth in what he is saying, but since 80% of it is over-stated, you don't know what to believe. Yesterday, Little One and I were watching his show while eating dinner. After a few minutes, she said, "I don't understand what he is saying, but he is mean."...........My sentiments exactly.

Anyway, the 2010 elections should be interesting. Regardless of how laissez-faire the White House tries to act today about their losses, you can bet they are nervous. And on the flip side, even Limbaugh and Beck are going to have a hard time explaining why the NY seat that has historically been republican suddenly flipped. Maybe is was Joe Biden's amazing speaking skills after all. (That was a joke.) The point is, these are volatile, un-nerving times.

On another note, Harry Reid said the healt hcare bill will probably not be passed this year. Fox News said this is a major blow to the President. Well, I hope not. I hope he sees this as a plea from the country to slow down and attack the problem in a more measured way. Let's fix what needs to be fixed and leave the rest alone.

Ok, that's it for today. I know, I know...too much politics the last couple of days....But that's life right? A little of this and a little of that. Tonight I will be packing and preparing for the big Zoo trip. Tomorrow night, I will be sleeping (or most likely not sleeping) in a sleeping bag in a room with 50 kids, 10 parents, 2 teachers and a principal....God help me...

Until tomorrow, when I promise not to discuss any politics.....

"Parents Aren't Really Interested in Justice. They Just Want Quiet." Bill Cosby

A little discussion about some headlines from today's paper...

1) It's Election Day in a few states...New York, New Jersey, Virginia to name a few. If you listen to the polls, it's going to be a strong Republican showing. Not surprisingly, the Republicans are calling this a referendum on Obama...a foreshadowing of things to come in 2010. The Democrats are saying this has more to do with state politics and poorly run campaigns. As usual, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. However, the President's falling approval numbers may be an indicator that his "honeymoon" is over. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. My doctor is a very smart, very informed woman. She is always aware of all of the new, cutting edge health information. Last year, we had a brief political discussion prior to my check up, and she expressed her confidence in Obama. She was ready for a "change". This year, it was her opinion that had "changed". For the first 10 minutes of my appointment, she launched into an in depth discussion about how she was appalled at how the President was "plowing through an agenda that was going to hurt a lot of people." She expressed dismay that he hadn't taken a more measured approach. She was livid that the health care agenda had become so politicized, and she was sure that the 'end game' of helping those who truly need help had been traded in for political gain.
I sat quietly and tried to take it all in. This is not a woman who is concerned with making as much money as she can. This is a doctor who will sit and chat about your health for an hour, and discuss the pros and cons of everything. Her total reversal on things really surprised me.

2) I heard on the news this morning that more and more parents are paying upwards of $100 an hour to hire personal trainers for their children because they are over-weight. I just do not understand this. I mean, I understand having someone teach a child how to workout properly...how to swing a bat...how to score more goals....how to serve correctly.....But please. I think that I, as a parent, can take responsibility for fixing healthy meals, turn off the video games and TV, and send my kids out to play...and throw away the Halloween candy when I notice that they are eating more than a few pieces a day. We have become a country of people who just look for the easy way out. Just pay someone else to take care of the kids. It's ridiculous. And quite frankly, without judgement or malice intended, if you look at the parents who are doing this, you will find in most cases that they are the ones that need the trainers...

3) Ok, on a similar note, you can now buy a GPS system that tracks where your kids are 24/7. As a mother with 4 kids, I can totally understand the feeling of control and comfort that this might instill in a parent. But as the mother of The Senior, let me warn you that there is not GPS anywhere that can keep up with a teenager who does not want to be kept up with. When The Senior was sent to the grocery store, she would indeed go to the store, but there were many stops on the way. My point is, there has to be a trust factor, or all is lost. Having said that, when you, the parent, are the only one abiding by this "trust" rule, steps have to be taken. It's so tempting to become the "helicopter parents" that we keep reading about these days. To micro-manage our kids in order to assure their safety and success. But I am afraid this might backfire...and we might end up with a generation of kids who sit back and wait for mom and dad to take care of everything. The key is always the 'happy medium', isn't it? And who knows where that is? I am determined to try and follow the path of "choice, decisions and consequences" with The Boy and Little One. In other words....you have a choice, you make a decision...and you live with the consequences.

Of course, it is easy to get on my judgemental high-horse when my 2 older ones are beyond all of this....and my 2 younger ones are not yet to the point of no return........Talk to me in about 5 more years....and then have a good laugh at how my opinions have changed....

So that's it for today. It's a beautiful day, much too pretty to sit around worrying about personal trainers and politics.....and until tomorrow, when the overnight Zoo trip is just around the corner....

"There Aren't Enough Days in the Weekend."

I'm pre-blogging today. I know that tomorrow morning (Monday) will be too busy due to appointments, so weekend re-cap will have to happen before the weekend is actually over.

For those of you that asked, The Boy's middle school dance was, in the words of Austin Powers, a "smashing success". The Boy sported his ridiculous blue polyester suit, black glasses and fake teeth. His buddy had intended to be Mini-Me, but at the last minute, his bald cap would not cooperate, forcing him to make a costume change. He decided to be a thief. As I put the finishing touches on his black face paint minutes before we left, he jerked his head and gave me a fat lip. Had the two of them not looked so funny, it might have really hurt. The Husband took a couple of pictures, and we took them to the dinner. They assured me I didn't need to walk them to the door, but I embarrassed them and did it anyway. When they saw several parents mulling around, they relaxed a bit, and I think I even saw a quick look of thankfulness on The Boy's face when I greeted the mom at the door, but didn't go in.

Little One was spending the night away, so The Husband and I decided to enjoy a dinner out. We were both a little quiet, and I imagined he was feeling the way I was, hopeful that The Boy was having a good time. I was wrong. He was reviewing his weekend football bets in his mind.

A few hours later, The Husband volunteered to go pick up The Boy. I quickly accepted his gracious offer, enjoying my book and the peace of the house. But at the last second, I dove into the car, realizing that I might miss out on any conversation about the dance. The Husband just shook his head and stared at me. As we drove up to the school and got in line, we rolled down our windows and heard the music blaring from the building....Hannah Montanna's 'Party in the USA' (The Husband calls this a "teeny-bopper song"????? Isn't that the point?)....Michael Jackson's 'Pretty Young Thing'....and then a couple of slow ones. I felt a little nervous, once again hopeful that The Boy was having fun. The Husband was busy giving his critique of the music, the car line, the weather....etc.....Finally, the kids poured out, and there was The Boy, laughing and chatting away with his friends. As he climbed in the car, he said "Yes mom, I danced with 5 girls...all slow dances....only fast ones with the guys. It was pretty fun. Is there one in the spring?" Well, I was just so happy. It was obvious he had had a good time. I asked who he had danced with, and he listed the girls...some were by choice, some had asked him....and one was out of kindness. I wanted to hug him, but he was too busy making 'guy' jokes with The Husband.
When we got home, he actually said...for maybe the first time ever...."I'm actually a little tired." He sat and watched TV with us.....and all was right with the world.

The next day was all about Halloween. Little One came home from her night out ready to plan her costume. Would she wear boots or high tops? Would her hair be straight or braided? Would she wear one or two gloves?...so many decisions to make. Not so much for The Boy. His only decision was whether or not to wear the entire Austin Powers costume...or lose the glasses and teeth. I reminded him that those were the items that made the costume funny. "Who cares?...I need to be comfortable." The Boy had invited his good friend from last summer's baseball team to trick-or-treat and spend the night. We'll call him Z. Now Z is the star of his school's football team...so he came as...who else? Himself. He wore his football jersey and a big smile. The sight of he and "Austin Powers" was hilarious. As they left, I called out to them to stay in the neighborhood and stick to the sidewalks. The Husband gave me a look that said "Really, can you let them be boys and leave them alone."....So I did. Thankfully, it was The Husband's year to walk Little One and her friends around. This meant I got to clean the kitchen and hand out candy in peace. I wanted to dress up while I handed out candy...but Little One forbid it. The Boy, in all of his sweetness, said "No need to dress up...You can just be Hot Mamma". That's my Boy.

When they all returned (Little One was having a friend for the night too) they dumped the candy on the floor and began trading. The Husband has always insists that he gets a 10% cut, so he took his share. I chatted on the phone with The Senior who was filling me in on the exploits of the Tike, who had gone as Thomas the Tank....all was right with the world.

So this morning, tired after Halloween and the World Series...I decided to stay home from church. I asked The Little One and her friend to act out a passage from the Bible in lieu of Sunday school. They chose The Nativity Story...and proceeded to act out a precious rendition of the birth of Jesus, culminating in the birth our cat...The manger was a trunk, which accidentally crashed close and almost decapitated the cat.....and that was it for the Bible lesson...

That's it for the weekend...I'm filled with relief and thankfulness...and ready for the week ahead, which includes a zoo trip, play rehearsals and more baseball....