I'm on the last stages of a painting for a friend. I've gone through the various stages that I usually go through when painting...love, hate, disgust, hope...and finally, content. When I walk by it now, I enjoy it. The Boy says it is good. Little One stares at the photo and then the painting for several minutes and then gives a thumbs up. There are still corrections be made, but it's at the point that I know it can be accomplished. This is my favorite period. I will leave it up and do it slowly. This is when I get to enjoy the process.
Little One's school conference was this morning. She was full of nerves. Her grades were fine and she never gets in trouble, but there is just something about a teacher conference that puts fear in a 10 year old. As the conference went on, I could see Little One start to relax and...well, not enjoy herself, but realize everything was going to be ok. Her teacher made a few well-timed jokes and she actually laughed and talked a bit. When we left, she said "That wasn't so bad'.
I wish I had learned earlier in my life how to let go of the worry and enjoy things more. I grew up with a constant sense of worry and tension about how I was doing....at everything. Whether it was swimming or painting or school work or modeling....whatever...I was constantly second-guessing myself. I guess a little of this is ok...it drives you to be better. But unfortunately, you wake up years later and ask yourself why you couldn't have worried a little less...and enjoyed it a bit more...
So today, as Little One and I do whatever her little heart desires, I will remember...and try to get her to remember....to enjoy the ride. Time goes by so quickly, and in the end, what we will remember about something is not the outcome, but the experience. Whether it's a painting or a conference, it's nice to do do your best and be pleased with the outcome...but it's even nicer to enjoy the process...
Until tomorrow...
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