On Kind Words and Broken Hearts

As I mentioned last week, I went in for a minor heart procedure on Thursday. Having been through these type of things over the last few years due to what The Husband calls a "bum heart", I usually take them in stride. But for some reason (possibly the thought of a tube being stuck up my major artery into my heart to take pictures), this one had me stressed out. But I had great faith in my doctor, and after trying to talk him out of it for a few days, I finally agreed. He claimed it was the only way to see if there was yet another problem with my heart. As I packed my bag Thursday morning, I was extremely nervous and emotional. The Husband, who generally avoids hospitals at all costs, had to take me and remain, due to the seriousness of the test. Now, this was adding to my stress, because I knew he dreaded it too. The Husband was not in the room for the birth of our children This was by mutual agreement. He didn't want to see it...and this was fine with me. So you can imagine how he felt about being part of this test. But he was very supportive, pointing out only 6 or 7 times how he had had to change his schedule around to accommodate me. ..

When we got to the hospital and were set up in a room, The Husband began to conduct business by phone, speaking so loudly that everyone on the floor could hear. This could have been embarrassing, but in my frame of mind, it actually made me laugh.

As discussed in previous blogs, I'm severely private. But I have to say, this was one time when I realized that support and love from friends and family was so helpful. One of my best friends, K, had said just the right thing for several days. The Niece had been her normal sweet self. Big Sis and The Senior had offered help and encouragement. Another friend had offered to pick up the kids if needed, which put my mind at ease. And an acquaintance from one of The Boy's baseball teams was a nurse in that unit, and she called the morning of the procedure to offer support. She was there when I got there, and she was helpful, supportive and kind to me all day, constantly checking to see if I needed anything. I was struck by how good it felt to have the support, instead of just "going it alone" as I usually try to do.

Every person that I came in contact with that day made the experience easier. From sweet Devon at check-in, to the funny tech who put in my IV's, to my nurse Treva who made me feel like I was her only patient. Even in the procedure room, everyone was kind. The young anesthesiologist was funny and sweet. He explained everything to me, sat with me while I was being prepped, offered to put on any music I wanted, and reminded me that once he gave me my "tequilla", I wouldn't care about anything. (He was right.) When my doctor came rushing in, his kind and comforting demeanor (plus the tequilla) made me relax. Once I was medicated, it was actually interesting to watch the procedure. Once he had inserted the tube up into my heart, a camera began taking pictures, and I could see my heart. The good news was...no blockage. The bad news (Always a little scary to hear "ok, there it is") was that I had what is nicknamed a "broken heart". As he finished up, he walked back and grabbed my hand, explaining that I had experienced a "faux heart attack", and that he would be able to give me medication to heal it. He added, with a wink, that I desperately needed a trip to Maui. I agreed, but maybe Paris instead...

The next 5 hours were spent flat on my back. In order to keep the artery from bleeding, you must remain still. This was not problem for me, as I am always thankful for any opportunity to sleep. The Husband stayed to make sure I was fine, and then took off to take care of the kids. I hadn't told them about the procedure, because they have inherited their mom's tendency to worry too much. Later in the day, the kids called to check in. I was so happy and thankful to hear their voices...and even happier to hear that I was allowed to go home later that night.

The morning of the procedure, Big Sis's friend A. posted on her facebook status that she was going to try and smile at everyone that day. Just random kindness. That night, I got to thinking about how much small acts of kindness mean in life. A kind word, a smile, a hug...you never know how much it might mean to someone. That day, every kind word and action that was directed my way was so special. It was the difference between a terrible day and a bearable day...

As for the procedure, it's very strange that I had been joking about loss and sadness being the cause of my heart problem...and in the end...that is probably not far from the truth...

So today, and this week, as I take it easy, I am so thankful for all of the kindness that has come my way over the last few days. From the encouraging words, to the flowers and cookies, to the help and love......Thank you.