Spring Break

It's hard to believe Spring Break is almost here. Yesterday it snowed and today there was still ice. I'm thankful to be heading to the beach this weekend. The weather may not be warm, but I am determined to lie on the beach and read. I may have to wear sweats over my bathing suit, but that's fine with me. I'm armed with several new books and magazines which I have hidden from myself so that there is no temptation to start them before we leave.


The Husband has promised me a peaceful trip. No flat tires, no white trucks, no sick animals....I believe that was the doctor's prescription. Of course the full prescription was a solo trip to Maui, but that will have to wait. As usual, despite my best intentions, no packing has been done. Well, I take that back. I've done 'mental packing', which means I have visualized what I want to bring...but no suitcases have been retrieved and no clothes have been laid out. No matter how many times I tell myself that I will do a little each day...this never seems to happen. So tomorrow will have to be devoted to preparations. Newspapers have to stopped, cats have to be boarded, clothes have to be washed.....Vacation can be a lot of work....


The kids view Spring Break as a break from early-rising and homework (so do I). They love the easy ebb and flow of our days at the beach. They also look forward to spending time with Big Sis and the BIL who will be with us for a few days. This seemed to deter their constant requests for bringing friends along. This means the Big Sis will spend a lot of time in the pool with Little One and the BIL will be playing the Wii...a lot...



The favorite restaurant at the beach is now closed...as is the favorite place to shop, so this trip will have to be a sort of "start over" of sorts. New favorites will have to be found. It's the story of life isn't it?...closings and openings, beginnings and endings...which leads me to say that...

This week I will examine the relevance of the blog. It has actually gone on past it's expiration date. The question is, does it still have a shelf-life? I could go on with these metaphors all day long, but in the end, I have to determine if the 23 minutes a day dedicated to this 'diary' is still worth it. Last year during a writers conference, it was suggested to me by a respected editor that I should blog for a year, edit it, and then turn it in to a book. So here I am a year later...I have the material, I'm ready to edit. But the thought of giving it up completely is disconcerting. I have a group of cyber-friends that I depend on for daily ego-feedback. I have a small group of family and friends who enjoy the updates. There are days that I feel I have nothing left to say...but there are also days that I can't wait to get something down in writing. When you write an article for a paper or magazine...there are so many constraints. Here, there are very few....

So sometime during vacation, I will decide whether this "New Year" of sorts should be a rebirth of something new, a continuation of the same...or an ending...

Until tomorrow....

In Defense of the Spring Fashion Shows from a Non-New Yorker

As we all keep our fingers crossed, hoping that the slight bit of upturn in the economy is the true light at the end of the tunnel, it is interesting to review the shows from New York fashion week. This time last year, many designers chose not to show, feeling like it was somehow un-chic and irrelevant to show an interest in fashion while people were losing their houses. Hermes and Tiffany's actually had customers requesting brown bags for their purchases instead of the customary blue and orange gift boxes that were normally carried with a sense of show and pride.



While there might be a bit of validity to this point, the fact is, fashion has always gotten a bad rap. The New York shows always garner a bit of head-shaking from the rest of the country this time of year, with many questioning how the over-the-top designs and prices really factor into the life of the average person. If you saw the movie 'The Devil Wears Prada', you'll remember that Meryl Streep's character Miranda (based on the real-life Vogue editor Anna Wintour) gave a scathing explanation of this to her new and skeptical assistant. The explanation was based on the trickle-down theory...that what you saw the last few weeks at the fashion shows in New York will eventually end up in some translated or watered-down version in your local mall.



For those of us who enjoy fashion and live outside of New York, there is always some editing and play-down that goes on. Let's face it, most people consider it somehow shallow and silly to put so much emphasis on what one wears. But the fact is, fashion, like sports or art....or any hobby, is just an interest. It isn't a reflection of over-spending, because the most fashionable people are able to accomplish this with very little. It is more matter of smart editing and a little research...So with that being said, to those of you who live it and breath it....who feel your heart skip a beat when you see the new Vogue in your mailbox...here we go....



This year, the designers have returned to their roots. Last year's attempt to play down anything expensive and luxurious has passed. The focus on timelessness and quality was emphasized at most shows. At Dolce & Gabbana, the backdrop to the runway show was a film highlighting the seamstresses and tailors who labored over the clothing at the Milan showroom, a subtle reminder that quality takes effort...and high prices come with a reason.



From Marni to Bottega Veneta to Fendi, there was restraint, but also luxury. Italian houses Cavalli and Ferragamo, boosted by double-digit growth in their stores in the first two months of the year, didn't play down anything, choosing instead to work with high-end mix materials like leather and fur.

Glenda Bailey, Editor-in-Chief for Bazaar magazine, once again gave her Top 5 trends to Saks customers, continuing the savy practice of telling the consumer what is "in", while at the same time giving them the opportunity to 'shop it' immediately. The following are her observations:

1) There is a new romanticism this year...lace, ruffles and pearls. This one is already trickling down...from ruffled trenches and cardigans at JCrew...to faux pearls everywhere. Soft florals showed up at Diane Von Furstenberg's show, instead of her normal geometrics.
For those of us who aren't ruffle-prone, tread carefully here....a few ruffles go a long way...

2) Soft tailoring. Feminine tailoring. My favorite example of this is the drop-dead gorgeous Donna Karan gray 'suit' that you see in an advertisement on the back of every fashion magazine right now. The skirt is a pencil, but with a soft flow and movement. The jacket is brilliant, softly tailored with a tie....this is the opposite of the "power suit". This is the pretty, chic suit, and I absolutely love the soft gray....I hope to see this color trickle down....

3) Lots of color, from bolds to pastels.....I'm hesitant on this one, but this is totally personal. My closet is full of neutrals and black and white. My 'bold' colors tend toward gray, beige...with a bit of turquoise thrown in. But it is always nice to see color in the stores this time of year...

4) New Decoration.....Feathers, sequins, and shimmer. This one has already trickled down....Robert Cavalli, Marc Jacobs and Balmain were a few of the designers to do it on the runway....JCrew ran with it by creating sequinned tanks, dresses and skirts. I love a bit of it...but a little goes a very long way. Sequin head-to-toe never works.

5) Prints. Ok, so far, I haven't noticed major trickle down on this. A few printed shirts at JCrew...a few printed dresses here and there...but stay tuned...

I think the last year has done the opposite of what one might have expected. Instead of highlighting the inexpensive, cheaper offerings like H&M or Target...we seemed to have been reminded that the smarter move is to save...and save...and then splurge. A cashmere sweater might cost 3 times what one could pay for the trendier item...but it will still be in our closet 5 years from now. The knock-off designer lines at Target and H&M, while interesting and reasonably-priced, turned out to be a little disappointing, proving once again that there are no substitutes for well-cut clothes made from quality fabrics. It may look cute on the hanger...but once you try it on, it disappoints. And after one cleaning.....

In the end, fashion is always highly personal, based on taste and preference... and edited by price tag and boldness. For those of us who enjoy it, we read about it and then we try what we like. And it is always...whether you want to admit it or not...a way of expressing ourselves. And in these difficult times, it always brings a smile to my face to see a child in Haiti with a lavender bandanna tied around her head and earrings dangling, because this may not be a 'runway look'...but this is what makes us different and unique....

So until tomorrow, when it looks like the snow, and not the runway, will dictate what I will be wearing....

Now I Need You. Now I Don't....

In answer to all of the questions I got all weekend long about The Boy's middle school dance...no drama. I know, very disappointing. A bit of a let-down. I suppose after the first one, the bloom is off the rose, as it were. The Husband did the big "pick up" Friday night. I decided this might be a little "cooler" for The Boy since The Husband does not ask probing questions about the dance...he just makes inappropriate jokes which later reveal themselves in inappropriate circumstances. Anyway, a friend was getting a ride home with The Boy, and rather than subject them to mom's 20 questions, I was proud of myself for handing over this duty.

As I heard him come though the door, I ran with my camera, hoping to get a few shots since he had not been in the mood for it before he left. "No Mom!" he huffed at me. But then, a small smile appeared, and I took my opportunity. He refused to smile (so not cool), but I got my picture. I started in with the questions, but it was obvious he was tired and anxious to get this over with. "The girl's wore high-heeled shoes and I danced with .......(insert the name of 6 girls)." Then he pulled out his computer and logged on to his fantasy baseball draft. I looked at The Husband, who had also logged on to this draft...and he shrugged his shoulders. "Not much to tell." That was it? I waited all night for that? "I'm tired, mom." Well ok, it had been a busy week. basketball tournament, baseball practice every day, several exams...I guess he had the right to be tired. So I hushed, because I remember not wanting to play the 20 question game with my mom either. Sometimes you're tired...or sometimes it is just nobody's business...either way, I felt a little of a let down...

Little one was ready to take up the slack. She had been researching dogs all night long and had narrowed down her favorites to around 894...and she NEEDED me to take a look at all of them...

I guess this is how it goes. You get older, and you need mom a little less and less. I have been down this road a few times before, but it is different with girls. They still wanted to talk....and talk,,,,and talk......I guess I just thought I would have a little longer with The Boy...

The next morning, he woke up early to get ready for a baseball game. I was on my way out the door. "You'll be at the game, right mom?" I nodded. "Good". ..............Ok, I can deal with that. I'm not one for a lot of conversation anyway. Just a little hint every now and then that I'm still needed...

Sunday was the Tike's big birthday bash. 4 years old. He was adorable, precious...and well-behaved. Enough to make a Noni really, really proud. As I started to leave the party, he grabbed my leg and whispered "NOOO. You can't go yet! I need you to stay!".............Through teary eyes, I agreed to hang and play play dough a bit longer. The cycle of life, I suppose...one needs you less, and one needs you more.....

So until tomorrow, when only those with an obsessive love of fashion need bother. Tomorrow's blog will be a rough draft for a fashion article...so for many of you...see you Wednesday....

On the Pre-Middle School Dance Preparations...

The note came home a few weeks ago. The middle school dance would require a coat and tie this time. Now, as much as The Boy had enjoyed the last dance...he balked at this. And besides, he and dad had tickets that night for his beloved Atlanta Hawks game. He was torn. I actually could have gone either way on this one, since I seem to be having trouble letting go lately...However, The Husband's 2 cents was that he should go to the dance. He left it up to The Boy, who said he would "let us know".

A few days ago, The Husband pressed for an answer. The Boy still waivered. The deep, dark answer seemed to be hidden at school somewhere because he kept saying he would find out at school. No, it wasn't date based. No "dates" allowed. Finally, he climbed in the car after baseball practice one day and said weakly "I guess I'll go to the dance."

Ok, since he did not have a jacket, The Husband suggested he wear one of his. Knowing better than to argue, I just went and retrieved one of his jackets and put it on The Boy. He is a big kid...but not that big. The next day, I set out to find a jacket. The Boy is in that 'tween' stage...so this wasn't easy. He has a school trip to Washington DC coming up in a couple of months, so I needed something appropriate for that, too. I finally found a beautiful Calvin Klein jacket and a very cool shirt to go with it. When The Boy came in that night, I had him try it on for dad. The Husband thought it might be a bit snug. I disagreed...I like that sleek, fitted look. The Boy had no opinion...he was watching a game. When The Husband heard the sale price for the jacket, he suddenly felt the fit was just fine.

Today, The Boy came in tired and grumpy from baseball practice. His braces were killing him due to yesterday's adjustment. His MLB fantasy baseball draft was due to take place in minutes. He was hedging again....did he HAVE to go to the dance , he asked? Well, it was up to me. The Husband was not around to say "Of course." ....Now it was my turn to be torn. I could let him stay home....and we could draft our teams and watch the Hawks play on tv. He would have jumped at that. But I reminded myself to do the right thing. Sometimes you have to give a little push. I sent him up for his shower and laid out his clothes......And then I saw it....the security thingy was still on the shirt! How could I have not checked that? Oh no. The wonderful GQ look was down the tubes. When The Boy came in, I apologized...he looked at me with glazed eyes. "Can't you just pick another?" ....Well, of course I could. And I did. And he looked so handsome. The Husband wasn't home to tie the tie, but The Boy wasn't fazed. He would recruit a chaperone at the dance to do the honors.

A few minutes later, his ride was here. I had reluctantly agreed to let him ride with a friend. The mom knocked on the door and he was off. I just couldn't help it...."Can I get a hug?"....He strolled back over and gave me a bear hug and whispered "Love you mom"......Once again I said my little prayer..."Please let him do that just a little longer..."

We get to do the pick up tonight....I hope he has fun...Until tomorrow....

On De-coding the Family.....

You know those days as a mom when you fall into martyrdom? When nobody seems to do things the way you want them done? Of course, that is the key in itself, the arrogance of thinking that everything has to be done your way. On the other hand, as a mom, you're pretty sure your way is the right way, so you feel entitled to moan about it when it is not done your way.

I have fallen into this line of thinking lately, having been sidelined due to health issues. Strict orders from the doctor not to do certain things has meant a little reassigning of duties in our household, and after a bit of turmoil about this last night, I feel it is my duty to construct a "key" in case someone ever has to step in and take my place. This may seem a bit precipitous, but you never know....and there are things that must be understood in our household.....The following can be considered the "code"....

The BOY:

1) Have you done your homework? This question must be asked in every possible way to extract every possible answer. You must list every subject. You must ask if it is complete. You must ask when it is due. This may take several minutes.
2) Is your bag packed for baseball practice? Again...not as simple as it sounds. You must go through each item...Pants, jersey, cap...and of course, the ever challenging question of is it actually in the bag? or is it spread out over your floor...those little details...
3) Have you made your bed? This is an easy one.."yes" only ever means that the comforter and pillow are actually on the bed.
4) Have you been on your computer? This one is extremely multi-faceted. He will come back with "when?"...."who, me?"...."My friends are on all the time".....you must push on....

Little One:

1)Are you wearing your hearing aids?...This must be very specific..'.yes' can mean they are in the bookbag...or 'yes' can mean "I had them in yesterday"....
2) How did you do on that test?.....This will be met with "What test?"...."I did fine"...and finally, "Are you gonna be mad?"
3) Please put on something nice.....This is the tricky one. You will be confused when she comes down the stairs in baggy gym shorts and dirty t-shirt. Don't be. You will send her back up at a minimum of 4 times. You will finally be happy with the turquoise jeans and the plaid shirt...this is the "compromise" outfit.
4) Don't be confused by the slamming down of the pop tart onto the plate in the morning. The translation is "You are a bad mom because you did not fix chocolate chip pancakes."

The Husband:

1) What is your schedule like?....Ok, if you have asked this over the phone, hold the phone away from your ear...for some reason, this question gets met with a lot of cursing...
2) Could you please take out the trash?.....Ok, if you are asking in person, leave the room. This gets met with a lot of cursing.....oops, did I already say that?
3) Do you have any cash?......Ok, this one is very tricky. If you are on the way to the hospital for tests, he may give you some without asking...otherwise, be prepared for "What did you do with the cash I gave you last week?"...Of course, this will tick you off, so be prepared for the fall out. Better to just hit the bank....
4) Why did you take The BOY to Hooters?....This depends on which Hooters he has attended. The latest response was "everyone there was 65". Don't push it. You both know the truth. He just "likes the fried pickles"....(I never said I wasn't naive)

Addressing Big Sis and The Senior is impossible. These two have had years of practice in the art of avoidance. They are masters. Suffice it to say that "I'm spending the night with Liz" NEVER meant I'm spending the night with Liz.

Now, you the reader might ask what the key is to me? I would answer that this is my blog, and I can write what I want. But the following are a few hints:

Me:

1) Have you fixed dinner yet?.....The answer to this depends on whether or not I want to go out or not....pretty simple...
2) Is that new?...Please...any woman knows that there are many shades to the answer to this question. Out of the bag or box means not new. Out of the car means not new...If I've tried it on, it's not new....
3) Are you mad at me?....................I cannot even get into this one.
4)It is 10:00 at night and I just remembered I have a project to do. Can you help me?....ok, stand back and let me yell for several minutes, and we'll get to work.
5) Would you mind depositing these checks? ..............of course I mind, but I'll do it.

Ok, that's enough for today. You get the picture. I think I'll print this out and save it. If anything ever happens to me...this may be helpful....

So until tomorrow...back to fashion...

On Kind Words and Broken Hearts

As I mentioned last week, I went in for a minor heart procedure on Thursday. Having been through these type of things over the last few years due to what The Husband calls a "bum heart", I usually take them in stride. But for some reason (possibly the thought of a tube being stuck up my major artery into my heart to take pictures), this one had me stressed out. But I had great faith in my doctor, and after trying to talk him out of it for a few days, I finally agreed. He claimed it was the only way to see if there was yet another problem with my heart. As I packed my bag Thursday morning, I was extremely nervous and emotional. The Husband, who generally avoids hospitals at all costs, had to take me and remain, due to the seriousness of the test. Now, this was adding to my stress, because I knew he dreaded it too. The Husband was not in the room for the birth of our children This was by mutual agreement. He didn't want to see it...and this was fine with me. So you can imagine how he felt about being part of this test. But he was very supportive, pointing out only 6 or 7 times how he had had to change his schedule around to accommodate me. ..

When we got to the hospital and were set up in a room, The Husband began to conduct business by phone, speaking so loudly that everyone on the floor could hear. This could have been embarrassing, but in my frame of mind, it actually made me laugh.

As discussed in previous blogs, I'm severely private. But I have to say, this was one time when I realized that support and love from friends and family was so helpful. One of my best friends, K, had said just the right thing for several days. The Niece had been her normal sweet self. Big Sis and The Senior had offered help and encouragement. Another friend had offered to pick up the kids if needed, which put my mind at ease. And an acquaintance from one of The Boy's baseball teams was a nurse in that unit, and she called the morning of the procedure to offer support. She was there when I got there, and she was helpful, supportive and kind to me all day, constantly checking to see if I needed anything. I was struck by how good it felt to have the support, instead of just "going it alone" as I usually try to do.

Every person that I came in contact with that day made the experience easier. From sweet Devon at check-in, to the funny tech who put in my IV's, to my nurse Treva who made me feel like I was her only patient. Even in the procedure room, everyone was kind. The young anesthesiologist was funny and sweet. He explained everything to me, sat with me while I was being prepped, offered to put on any music I wanted, and reminded me that once he gave me my "tequilla", I wouldn't care about anything. (He was right.) When my doctor came rushing in, his kind and comforting demeanor (plus the tequilla) made me relax. Once I was medicated, it was actually interesting to watch the procedure. Once he had inserted the tube up into my heart, a camera began taking pictures, and I could see my heart. The good news was...no blockage. The bad news (Always a little scary to hear "ok, there it is") was that I had what is nicknamed a "broken heart". As he finished up, he walked back and grabbed my hand, explaining that I had experienced a "faux heart attack", and that he would be able to give me medication to heal it. He added, with a wink, that I desperately needed a trip to Maui. I agreed, but maybe Paris instead...

The next 5 hours were spent flat on my back. In order to keep the artery from bleeding, you must remain still. This was not problem for me, as I am always thankful for any opportunity to sleep. The Husband stayed to make sure I was fine, and then took off to take care of the kids. I hadn't told them about the procedure, because they have inherited their mom's tendency to worry too much. Later in the day, the kids called to check in. I was so happy and thankful to hear their voices...and even happier to hear that I was allowed to go home later that night.

The morning of the procedure, Big Sis's friend A. posted on her facebook status that she was going to try and smile at everyone that day. Just random kindness. That night, I got to thinking about how much small acts of kindness mean in life. A kind word, a smile, a hug...you never know how much it might mean to someone. That day, every kind word and action that was directed my way was so special. It was the difference between a terrible day and a bearable day...

As for the procedure, it's very strange that I had been joking about loss and sadness being the cause of my heart problem...and in the end...that is probably not far from the truth...

So today, and this week, as I take it easy, I am so thankful for all of the kindness that has come my way over the last few days. From the encouraging words, to the flowers and cookies, to the help and love......Thank you.

On Teaching The Boy to Clean...

Over the weekend at Grandma's, I decided on a new tactic. Instead of waiting until the last morning to clean, I would have The Boy and Little One help me a little each day. This would spare me that awful feeling of waking up the last morning with bags to pack and a house to clean. One of the lovely things about going to Grandma's is that it is always in order. I make sure when we leave that the next time we come, walking in will feel like walking into a hotel. In fact, sometimes I go there and just clean in between visits just so it keeps that "perfect" feel.

When I was working full-time outside the house, I use to have a wonderful housekeeper who kept our home spotless. Now that I am home, I feel that should be my responsibility. Therefore, our home is not spotless....more like "lived in". It is always clean, but with 2 active kids and a husband who loves to create his own little oasis on the couch at night (diet coke cans, pretzel boxes, socks, shoes, computer, newspapers....the list goes on and on)....it retains more of a "lived in" look.

Anyway, back to the story. When I told the kids my idea, there were collective sighs. Cleaning is not high on either of their lists. Little One is actually a stellar little worker, inheriting that gene from her Italian Grandma. Nobody could clean like Grandma. If I assign a task to Little One, and tell her it must be perfect...she is fully capable of doing it. Now...The Boy is another story. Let me say up front that he is not a slob. He is always clean himself, and he likes his surroundings to be clean...however, he likes his mom to do this for him. But if called on to make his bed, he can manage to make it look made (comforter pulled up to top..pillow flufffed). However, the bathroom is another story. I was determined to teach him how to do it. We started with the sink. I showed him how to spray the disinfectant around and wipe it out. His first problem was that he does most chores with one hand in his pocket. I explained this would be a "2 handed " chore. Next we moved on to the toilet. I showed him how it was done...and he shook his head violently. "I just can't do that". Fine, I called to Little One, who came running with her supplies and accomplished the task in a few minutes...giving The Boy her best "boy are you a loser" look. Finally, we did the bath tub, which did not seem to gross him out as much. I left him to do the floor himself after a brief explanation. I went to clean my own room, figuring I would have to come back and clean behind him. But when I returned...lo and behold....it was sparkling. There stood The Boy with a big grin on his face, proud of how clean that darn floor was. "Not bad" he said. Well, what do you know? I told him next week we would learn laundry. I tried to explain how these skills will be helpful in college. " I'll just live at home and let you do it" he replied. "Or get my girlfriend to do it" he grinned. Uh oh. College? Girlfriend? We were going down a road I wasn't ready for .....

As we prepared to leave Grandma's, I was happy that everything looked so good..and especially happy that it had been a joint effort...I even saw The Boy throw his clean clothes in a drawer...miracles do happen...

So until tomorrow, when I will need to make an effort to get this house in the same shape....