'It's Amazing How Memories are Built Around Things that Go Unnoticed at the Time.' Barbara Kingsolver

It's interesting the things remind us of people once they are gone. My mom has been gone almost a year now, and my brothers and I have just begun the process of going through her home, sorting through the "things" that made up her everyday life. My parents were not extravagant people, so it is more of a sentimental chore than anything else. After mom's funeral, my brothers had me go through her jewelry and personal effects. The sight of her little engagement ring brought tears to my eyes. It had been years since she had actually worn it, the tiny chip of a diamond that dad had given her when they married. Years later, he had given her a thick gold band which she loved, and she had stopped wearing the tiny diamond. But that was the ring that reminded me of her, the one that I remembered loving as a little girl. In fact, I remember being a little sad when she stopped wearing it. This was the one item that I was really happy to have, because when I put it on my finger, I feel close to the mom I remember as a little girl.
We also sorted through pictures together to see which ones we would each keep. Again, it is surprising sometimes how your heart speaks. There were some nice family pictures from holidays past, and of course, these are special to have. But the ones that really tugged at my heart were surprising. There was a very old picture of mom as a young mother, standing with my oldest brother. She is dressed very stylishly in a pencil skirt and blouse, her dark hair pulled back into a sleek bun, earrings showing. It is not at all the way I remember mom, yet I feel very connected to it. I cannot begin to know why...I would not come along for many more years after this picture was taken, but I feel like I know the young woman in that picture.
My brothers liked the pictures of mom playing basketball in her high school days. I began to think that maybe we were all subconsciously acknowledging that it had been a long time since mom had been herself. We had suffered through several years of illness with her, especially after dad's death. Maybe we were looking for pictures that reminded of us her health and happiness.

When I close my eyes and think of my dad, two things come to mind...his gold wedding band and his Cubs cap. I think in my mind, these are the two things that defined dad...his love of mom (and family) and his love of sports (Cubs).

When my mother's mom passed away, mom asked if there was anything of hers that I would like. That was easy. The first thing that popped into my mind was her "fancy" dinnerware. The pattern is very common today...I think it is called 'Franciscan'. It is bone colored earthenware with pink and green flowers. You can find it anywhere. Bu this was what reminded me of my Mammaw. Every holiday, our huge extended family would congregate at her house, and she would cook a big meal. It was always my job to pull out the pink and green dishes from the little cabinet in her dining room. I always loved those dishes. They represented my Mammaw, my cousins, good food, laughter...and they still do. I have my own china now, but I still pull out the pink and green dishes on holidays....

Sometimes I wonder how my own children will remember me. What picture of me will tug at their heart? What piece of clothing or jewelry will bring back a good memory? I guess I hope that the memories are more valuable than the things...though The Senior has laid claim to a pair of shoes, and Little One has asked for a particular pair of earrings. Maybe I'll just pass these along now. Because sometimes what reminds you of someone is not what you thought...

So that's it for today. I suppose turning a year older (and wiser?) gets one thinking about these kinds of things,,,

And until tomorrow, when the talk will turn to Halloween costumes and first dances....