Isn't it interesting how we are all products of our routines and environments? Our daily rituals and schedules tend to define us as people. It's not until we take a step back and open our eyes to how "others do it" that we actually learn about ourselves.
After a week at the beach with the addition of The Boy's friend, I am reminded of what a gift it is to see things through the eyes of others. The friend, a terrific boy...well-mannered and behaved...has his own rhythm. He wakes at the crack of dawn, he goes to bed early, he never eats fast-food, and he will not watch the Braves games. As opposed to The Boy who cannot go to sleep before 11:30, hates to wake up before 9 (and lately, 10), has never met a cheeseburger he doesn't like...and LIVES for the Braves game. It was interesting to see the melding of lives this past week, and I have to say, to both of their credit, they negotiated and compromised, which is always a good thing in life. I suppose when you are 12 and there is a beach, a pool, a workout room, a computer...not to mention the friend's phone...there should not be too much credit given to getting along. I mean, if you can't do it under those circumstances...
When I was in middle school, my best friend's family used to invite me to their lake house for the weekend. I used to love the dynamic in their house...although it took some getting used to. There were always lots of people in and out, lots of food being constantly prepared, lots of noise...and everyone was expected to pitch in and help. It was a pleasure to be there...to spend time with her sweet mom...and forceful dad...who EXPECTED me to get up on those skis on my first try...I looked forward to those weekends, and looking back, I realize that they were a gift...
In high school, I headed to my boyfriend's lake house for the weekend. This was another lesson for me, unaccustomed as I was to the different social rituals of some. His family enjoyed hunting and drinking. It was quite a combination, and a bit intimidating for someone who had never eaten quail, or never witnessed her parents having a drink. But again, what a gift it was, for they were wonderful people, and I learned so much from them. My world was expanded just by being with them. He was a pilot and a hang-glider, and though I never learned to fly a plane, I did learn to hang-glide, which looking back, was such a fun addition to my life. Having three brothers and a father who was president of a pro-basketball team, I was only accustomed to "norm sports". To get some exposure to a different view of life changed me as a person.
As I have written before, I started college when I was 16. As much of an eye-opener as this was, I am sure it was made a little easier by the fact that I had already been exposed to many life-styles. My parents led a very small, sheltered life, dictated by their beliefs, up-bringings and interests. But it was my time spent with others that expanded my life, and helped me to see that there is no right way...but only a different way....
When Big Sister was in college, she was sent to Washington DC to meet with others in her major (political science). I don't remember the purpose of the meeting, but I do remember the phone calls from her discussing how different everyone was and how her southern gentil-ness was being tested. It was once again a great lesson in life. She learned about holding your own and expressing opinions...and then putting it aside and socializing...To say she came home a different person would be an overstatement, but she definitely came home a wiser person.
And so this morning, I am reminding myself that life is so much more than my routine and ritual, and I will do my kids a favor if I encourage this. It is so tempting to protect and shelter, but in the end, it is the ability to go away and come back a little wiser that adds to our life. After all, how do you learn what you really like if you don't try new things?...(Of course, it also reminds me that another trip to France would be in order...I can almost hear the collective sighs of The Boy and The Husband...who spend most of their time searching out The Quick...the equivalent of Burger King)..
So until tomorrow, when I will consciously choose to "mix it up " a bit....make a few changes...change things around...and hopefully encourage my kids to do the same...
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