On Being Careful What You Ask For...

There was a very funny article in the WSJ yesterday entitled "The Gift that Needs Forgiving". The gist of article was about the crazy gifts that men sometimes give at Christmas. There were stories of listerine, nasal strips and cases of chapstick. There was a fuzzy nightgown from WalMart with a picture of dogs with balls in their mouths on it. There were men's tennis shoes in a size not even close to the wife's foot...and it went on and on. The funniest line was "When you ask a man what he wants for Christmas, and he says "Nothing", he means it. When you ask a woman what she wants for Christmas and she says "Nothing", God help you if you believe her." This made me belly-laugh. I am guilty of this all of the time. I always tell The Husband "Don't worry about a gift"....but the few times he has semi-listened, I pouted.

I've written before in this blog about how The Husband is a great gift-giver. Stellar, really. If I never get another gift from him, he has done enough for a lifetime (Refer to above, Husband...I'm being gracious). Therefore, I feel like I can reveal the one time he slipped up on this title. The first year we were married, under the tree were matching scuba-diving suits...his and hers. Now, the problem with this was that we didn't scuba dive. Granted, we had gone for a couple of hours on our honeymoon....but that about summed it up. I hadn't asked for one....in fact, I was totally thrown for about a minute. Big Sis and the Senior were 'Little Ones' back then, and I remember them asking "What are those?" They have never forgotten about the scuba suits to this day...and when that particular memory comes up...many tears are shed in laughter. (Let me explain for The Husband. He loves Costco. You know that new show Modern Family? Well, did you see the episode where they went to Costco? Cam loves it...and his partner is a snob and makes fun of it, then buys out the store. This is exactly how it is with me and The Husband.....he LOVES it....I am the snob who somehow finds a cart load of "stuff" to buy......but I digress...I am absolutely positive that The Husband spotted those suits in Costco and thought to himself "Ooh..maybe we'll scuba dive one day...meanwhile, that's a great price")....and so that is the Story of the Scuba Suit Christmas.

So this year, as I search for the perfect present for The Husband, I'm thinking of hobbies that we might take up in the future....should I go with the bow and arrow? or perhaps a bowling ball? I'm not sure...I'd better head to Costco and check out the specials. And while I'm at it, I'll wrap up some contact solution and toothpaste...

Until tomorrow...

On How Much Should go Under the Tree....

When I was a little girl, I guess about 10 years old, I remember having a perfect Christmas. I got a clock radio, which for some reason had been my heart's desire. This probably psychologically explains a lot about me...I'm not sure what it says, and I probably don't want to know...but I remember being absolutely thrilled. I also received a generic winter coat, which I don't remember very well, and a jewelry box that my big brother sent me from college. It is tough to decide which I treasured more...the radio or the jewelry box. I adored my big brother, and I would have treasured a bobby pin if he had sent that. But the beautiful musical box with the pretty lady and baby on the front that played 'Love Story' made me cry with joy. I still have that little jewelry box to this day. The radio didn't make it as long, but I do remember taking it to college a few years later.

Fast forward several years, and those memories continue to shape the way I see gift-giving over the holidays. That story is the equivalent of my dad's "I walked 5 miles in snow to get to school" story to my kids. But I am constantly reminding them that "the reason for the season" is much bigger and more important than how many video games or stuffed animals show up under the tree on Christmas morning. It is way too easy this time of year to get caught up in all of the "Did I get them enough?" hoop-a-la.

If I have learned anything in my life, it is that gratitude is one of the major keys to happiness. The ability to be thankful and appreciative for everything we are given...is a blessing and a gift. The flip side of that is that when you give someone too much, little by little, you take away their ability to be appreciative. It would be easy to use my kids as an example of this...but I'm gonna use myself instead. I am a voracious, if not obsessive reader. When I was in college, and short on money, I would trek to the local used bookstore and trade in a stack of books for another stack. I don't think I ever bought a book from a regular bookstore in those years. Now these days, I practically live at Barnes and Noble. I think nothing of picking up a book (or books, says The Husband) on a regular basis. The thought of heading to the used bookstore would not appeal to me these days. Am I spoiled? I guess. But again, it's all a matter of what you get use to.

My kids are pretty appreciative. If I get something for Big Sis, there is a thank you note in my mailbox before I get home. The Senior may not write a note, but she will call 30 times and tell me how much she likes it. (A few weeks ago, she actually called one evening just to thank me for being a great mom...wow...doesn't get any better than that). The Boy does not ask for a lot...and he has a generous heart. He is generally just as interested in what he is giving. Little One still makes the list and checks it twice....she still longs for stuff. But Little One is little...
So the challenge for me is to fight the urge to have that 5 minutes of happiness that comes from giving them too much. To fight the urge to run out and buy everything I have heard them mention. To fight the urge to give The Boy the phone even though he has not accomplished his end of the bargain on a few things. I'd love to see the smile....but yet what do I teach him if I do that? That deals aren't deals....and mom caves.

So this year, I will try and remember that restraint is the word...that gifts are not always material...that less is more.....and what is under the tree is sometimes less important than you might think...


In the end, it's up to me to continue to give them this gift of appreciation. I am ao tempted some years to over do it.....to keep asking "Do I have enough for them?". But even as I ask that question, I know the answer. The thought of their faces seeing a tree surrounded by gifts makes me smile...but the thought of them opening up a few presents and treasuring them the way I did that radio....that is priceless.

Until tomorrow....