Happy New Year

We spent the evening at the Animal Hospital Emergency Room. The dog keeps losing ground. By this morning, she could not walk. She was still eating and eliminating...but that was it. We decided it was best to go and get some things ruled out. Even at 105, we did not want to be missing something that might be easy to fix. But we were right. the vet kindly validated our assumptions. He felt that she has a tumor which is compressing her spine, slowly paralyzing her. While waiting for the vet to come in, she actually got herself to a standing position for about 5 seconds...and then collapsed. He told us that she looked great for her age..well-cared for. This made me want to cry. The kids waited in the waiting room, both scared to death to hear the outcome. Little One was a bundle of tears, while The Boy, ever the optomist, continued to list all of the reasons he thought she would be ok ("She's eating. She's pooping. Her nose is cold. She's awake. She's trying to get up"....and on and on and on. ) As The Husband carried her back up to the condo, it dawned on me that we were only hours from the New Year....

It is a very low-key, very different New Year this year. We usually have a celebration with friends, and I hope we get back to that ritual next year. But on this quiet evening at the beach, I am trying to be thankful and hopeful for the coming year. I had hoped it would be a year without the loss of a loved one....but with the dog in her present condition, that doesn't seem possible. I feel tonight the way I have felt several times in the last few years. The way you feel when you know something heartbreaking is coming, but you don't know when. I guess it is all part of the cycle of life, though I am so tired of trying to convince myself of this.

I love to make my resolutions, kind of a personal reassessment. I thought about listing them, but this year's list seems very personal. Kind of like wishes...if you reveal them, they might not come true...

I wish everyone a very Happy New Year. Don't underestimate the value of a few well-thought-out resolutions. Don't set yourself up to fail. Baby steps are the way to go. Or grand generalities like "I want to be a better person" or "I want to be more kind". I find those to be easier to keep and more inspiring. Either way, it is the first day of the rest of your life. A blank slate. A renewal..

So today, as I pack up to go home, I will visualize who I want to be in 2010..

Until next year...

A Quick Update on Life at the Beach...

I took a few days off the blog. As a friend said, my life was beginning to sound like a sitcom episode, so I needed to re-group.. The beach is lovely. It is too cold to swim in the ocean, but not too cold to sit on the balcony and read.
The Husband gave me some terrific books for Christmas...all french-themed. The one I've been reading is the story of a guy who takes a year off to go write and paint in France. (Chasing Matisse) The Husband probably thinks that reading about this will quell my desire to actually do it.
I was inspired to pull out my paint brushes . This is absolutely the best place (besides France) to paint. I began a painting Monday morning, and I am almost finished. The Husband cannot understand why it takes me weeks at home to finish a painting. He doesn't understand that here, I am able to paint for hours at a time uninterrupted. The kids are happy and busy with their new stuff, and nobody is asking me to do this or that. I love the painting...these are words you rarely hear from me at this point in the painting. I usually love it the first day, and them hate it the next. Not so this time. Stay tuned...today is correction day, so I may hate it by tonight.

The dog has taken a turn for the worst. I cannot write too much about it or I will cry. At 105 years old, she is struggling. This morning, The Husband had to carry her down to go to the bathroom, and then I had to feed her and position her. The end is near. Best not to think about it. The kids are worried...she has been their best friend for their whole life.

That's it for today. Back to the painting. The New Year is only a few days away. I need to get my resolutions on paper...

Until tomorrow....

Christmas in the Holiday Inn Express

Today's blog will be a little longer than usual due to the over-abundance of adventure the last few days. I would also like to say that every bit of this is true. There are those that won't believe it, but as I say often in my life, you cannot make this stuff up...



After a lovely Christmas Eve, and a terrific Christmas morning, which caused The Boy to label it "The Best Christmas Ever!" (The Boy had been worried about how the recession would affect his Christmas)...The Husband, The Boy, Little One and myself were packing to go to the beach. Besides being a nice little vacation, we needed to pack up Grandpa's condo which he had just sold. For this reason, we needed to take the big white box truck from work..referred to by my brothers as "The Beverly Hillbillies truck". I was dreading this, especially when The Husband informed me that he was going to "bring a little tile down" for one of the units. The Husband's driving is scary on any given day, but especially when you are carrying thousands of pounds of tile.



We were bringing the 15 year old incontinent dog and the two carsick cats. The idea was to put them in the back of the box truck and cross our fingers. So 5 minutes before we were suppose to leave (The Husband keeps us on a schedule). Little One was suppose to carry her cat to the truck and put her in. Unfortunately, kitty had other ideas, and she took off. Well, what happened next was really impossible to describe. The Husband let out a song of profanity never before heard on Christmas day...and he began chasing the cat all over the neighborhood shouting "If you don't get back here in 3 minutes, I'm leaving you!!" The Boy and I stared at each other, trying desperately not to laugh, and maybe wondering if that cat would, indeed, answer him.

Ok, so 15 minutes later, we were off to the beach. It was quiet in the truck due to the tenseness of the cat chase, but at least we were under way. I asked The Husband how much tile we had in back, and he mumbled something about 10,000 lbs. I asked how much the truck could hold...and he gave me a look that said "Don't ask anymore questions." This worried me even more, but I was determined to have a good attitude. Afterall, it was Christmas, and The Husband knew what he was doing, right? About 45 minutes later, we were on the interstate when we heard a huge sound. Having recently had some car issues, I recognized it as a tire blowing, but The Husband said no. He pulled off and had a look, and determined that the cats had knocked something over in the truck. His answer to this was to put the cats in the front with us. I strongly disagreed with this assesment, but my opinion was ignored. So back on the road, for the next 2 hours, I watched the inside tire slowly deflate and wobble in my rearview window. I tried to tell The Husband this, but he got very annoyed with me and told me I was "stressing everyone out". At this point, I began praying for our safety and repeating my maiden name over and over again. Not surprisingly, another half hour later, another big bang sounded. "What was that!?" yelled The Husband. "That" I replied calmly, 'was the rest of the tire unraveling. You now have one less tire."

I am assured that God was watching over us, because we were near an exit...and the exit had a hotel. Somehow, The Husband maneuvered the truck into the hotel parking lot. And it died in peace. When he got out to look...he saw that the tire was completely off. "I'll check us in" he said.

Ok, time to asses our situation. Christmas Day. Everything closed. Flat tire that is not a normal size. No food. I again said another prayer...this time asking for patience and the ability not to kill The Husband. We unloaded our bags and went to our room. The kids were ok...The Boy always finds a bright side. He had internet access and his computer and new DS games. He was good to go. Little One scouted out a snack machine and workout room. The Husband sat on the bed in depressed funk. He made one call to a local tire place and determined the situation hopeless. I was suddenly very grateful that we were alive and well...and in a new, clean hotel. I logged on my laptop and typed in "emergency 24 hour service" along with the size of our flat tire...and lo and behold...up popped the name of a 24/7 service that had that tire. The Husband reluctantly called...and a nice fellow named Chad answered and said yes, he could come and change the tire. Well, the next few seconds were crucial...as The Husband started to try and "negotiate' the price. I had to quickly give him the mother of all "Looks"...and he quickly agreed to pay the 10,000,000 dollar ransom that someone is able to extract for this type of service on Christmas Day.

From that point on, things improved. The Husband rallied a bit. The plan was to let the guy fix the tire and then unload some tile so we became "legal" weight. The Husband spilled out the whole story of the "tile weight issue" that he had neglected to tell me....and we figured that we were a couple of thousand lbs. over.

Little One dragged me to the workout room where we ran off our frustrations. Then we hit the snack machine for dinner. As we were standing there debating between pop tarts and crackers, the only other man staying in the hotel walked up behind me. He stood very close with a big grin on his face. This made Little One and myself very uncomfortable, so we were forced to hurry our decision. There is just no way to choose a proper meal from the vending machine with someone watching you.

Later that night, after the tire was fixed and the tile unloaded, we all watched 'Buddy the Elf' on tv....and I felt a huge sense of relief. It may have been a horrible day, but things had turned out ok. We had to smuggle the 15 yr old incontinent dog in for obvious reasons. She slept in the bath tub.

The next morning, we devoured the hotel breakfast at dawn and headed to Home Depot where they kindly unloaded another palette of tile for us, just for safe measure. We headed to the beach, all the while holding our breath that it did not happen again.

I have never been so happy to be somewhere safe and sound. What a relief to be here. Unfortunately, The Husband had to unload all of the remaining tile so that he could make the 4 hour trip back to the hotel this morning to pick up the remaining tile.

So all's well that ends well. The Husband promises that we will never make a trip in the truck again. This makes me very happy. And here we are at the beach. It will take me a few days to decompress. The stress level in the truck was rather high...

It makes me wonder what on earth the New Year can bring.....

Merry Christmas

I cannot believe it is Christmas Eve already. This holiday season has flown past. Yesterday was a flurry of activity. The Tike had come for an overnight visit, and it was so much fun. I am fairly sure he has a career as an engineer in front of him. I had set out the train tracks, but he took about 4 hours to re-arrange and set up the way he liked them. He is his mother's son, as he talked and talked the entire time. The last few hours before his bedtime, I found myself responding in sign language, as my words for the day had been used up. My favorite part of his visit was when I kissed him goodnight, and I said "You are my guy." He kissed me sweetly and replied "No Noni, YOU are MY guy." I love that little guy.

This evening the immediate family will gather, and though it does not look like it use to look, it will be lovely. I am determined to focus on the future of the family, and not the past. I will remember mom and dad and grandma with love, but I will remember that life goes on...And so, on this Christmas Eve day, I am going to be indulgent and personal in my wishes:

1) Merry Christmas to Big Sis and SIL...I love you both and look forward to all that the new year brings....

2)To The Senior....you are so close, aren't you? Next year this time, you will be a grown up, huh? Enjoy each moment. and be proud that your biggest accomplishment is the adorable, loving Tike.

3) To The Boy and Little One...you keep me on my toes. You remind me that life is about the day to day routine. You make me laugh on a daily basis.

4) To all of my friends...most especially K....I love you guys. I love to laugh and you help me do that on a daily basis.

5) To my brothers....what can i say? i don't even know why I got such good ones. Every memory I have of you guys is amazing. You have always been there for me. (And I adore my funny niece!!)

6) To my brother and sister in law.....how lucky I am to have you in my family. There is history there that just cannot be replaced. I look forward to being with you soon.

7) To my father -in-law. I love you and respect you. You make me think and laugh too. I remember when you first met me...you weren't sure. A model//buyer was not that impressive in your book. And besides, I was fluent in french and not italian! But we were quick to bond...and you are a great teacher in many ways...

8) To my pastor. You are wise. I am thankful for your voice in my life. Just when things seem a bit much....you bring me back to the appreciation of life. You are a disciple of Christ.

And last but not least....The Husband. We have lived 50 years in the last 15, that is for sure. But as you reminded me recently, it's all a matter of perspective. I am extremely grateful for your ability to ride the waves in such a calm way. For all of my over-reactions...you are the under-reaction. And besides, like she said in the movie last night...'when all is said and done...he makes me laugh." Merry Christmas and I love you.

So that is it for today. As I go through the day wrapping and cooking....I will remember that this is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. And in my life, he is not just a great man, or an interesting figure in history...but he is our Lord and Saviour. And in a tiny manger in Bethlehem, the shepherds were led to him by a bright star, and ever since, he has led the way for all of us.

Merry Christmas to all, near and far.....

On The Strange Ways of 12 yr Old Boys.....

The Boy came rambling in yesterday with his buddy and said he was invited to spend the night. Well, ok, not yet invited, but they were going to ask. Would that be ok? I told him to ask dad. I was getting ready to go the 'Longest Night' service at church and did not want to think about it. The Husband and I tag-teamed, meaning I pulled out as he pulled in.
I've been to this service the last 3 years. It's a solemn service meant for people who are grieving for someone this time of year and want kind of a quiet way to do it. The last few years, I drug everyone with me. First it was dad's passing, then Husband's mom, then mom. This year, nobody passed, but I still feel like I am grieving, somehow. Last year, when mom died in November, I was kind of in shock. Coming home and celebrating the holidays was kind of auto-pilot. This year, I feel the void more. Anyway, the service is somewhere you could go and cry and not worry about people thinking you are crazy. Unlike say, the grocery store, where it un-nerves people to see you cry...So I went by myself...sparing the others from tears and sadness...

When I returned, The Boy ran over and hugged me and said he would see me in the morning. They were playing flashlight tag, and then were headed to his friend's house. They had sweetly let Little One play too. (This more due to the kindness of his friend). The Husband and I settled in to what we thought was going to be a quiet evening, until the phone rang. It was The Boy, asking if plans could change and they could spend the night here. I in no way understood why this needed to happen, but I heard "brother", "early" and...well, mainly "Is that ok?" Well, why not? Ok. Come on. So 10 minutes later, in came The Boy, the friend, and ???the brother. And suddenly the whole evening changed. Because there were bunk beds that had to be prepared and a sleeping bag that had to be laid out....so I took care of it, and they watched a movie. When The Husband and I decided it was lights out time, we sent them upstairs. 10 minutes later, The Boy once again appeared at our door, explaining that the brother wanted to go home, and he needed to "walk him". ,,,,Again, when it comes to 12 year old boys...the explanation never makes sense. So ok, walk him home. I think we were all in bed by midnight...

So they were up early today...off to construct a "beaver dam" down at the creek. I have no idea what this entails...I only know that is is rare that The Boy is worried about getting his clothes dirty...but he was worried today...Oh Boy.

That is it for today. The Tike is coming over later on for a spend-the-night, so I have to set up the train set. Little One is sleeping strangely late...or doing something covert in her room....I'll hope for the first choice....

Until tomorrow....

On the Fourth day Of Christmas.....

We watched old videos from previous Christmases last night at The Boy's request. I asked him why he wanted to watch and he replied very honestly "Because I like to see myself on TV". I love watching these, though this year, it felt a little more sad than usual to watch. The videos are full of Grandma, and Grandmother and Grandfather...and they are no longer with us. Or as Little One so graciously put it "At least the dog and Grandpa are still alive". We marveled at how The Boy was such a chunky toddler and Little One was such a bubbly little thing. The Husband was guessing the year by the amount of hair he had...and I was guessing it by how pregnant I was. I was once again reminded that I am in charge of holidays now. I miss the times when it was a joint discussion and effort. But it's fine and good...if it is my time to be the "matriarch", so be it. I'll give it my best shot.

Friday night was a girl's night. I met up with Big Sis, The Senior and her friend Liz. And I brought along Little One and BFF for good measure. We ate at a new Italian restaurant, and we enjoyed it. Liz grew up in our house. In fact, she feels like another daughter. She is recently engaged, and I had done a painting for her as a wedding gift. I had seen a Kenton Nelson painting in a movie that not only looked like her, but reminded me of her...so I 'copied' it. It was so much fun to get to catch up with her...she is not only lovely, but she is hilarious. Big Sis was sweet to come straight from work...and The Senior was The Senior in all her glory....She has never met a waiter that she did not view as dating material, and that night was no different. Little One added to the entertainment my dropping her coke...but all in all, it was a great evening.

The rest of the weekend was low key. The Boy was at a spend-the-night party, so the house was strangely quiet. Little One and BFF watched a marathon of Mary-Kate and Asley movies...and I finished my Christmas cards.

As the "Big Day" gets closer, I can honestly say that I am ready. This is a good feeling...one that I rarely have 3 days out. We are headed to the beach Christmas Day...so there is packing to do too...

So today, with the kids home and the preparations ready, I will look forward to having the family here. I'm going to try and focus on the true meaning of Christmas, and I am hoping that I accomplish that as well as mom and dad did.

Until tomorrow, when The Tike is coming for a "sleep over"....

This and That....

Thanks to everyone who asked about The Boy. He is so much better. We discovered on Monday that he had strep throat. Yikes! Of course, we discovered this after he surprisingly told the doctor "oh yeah, my throat feels weird." Oh really?? This might have been a good piece of information to share with mom while she was trying to figure out the cause of the high fever. Anyway, as soon as we got a couple of doses of antibiotic in him, he was fine. Although he looks about 10 pounds lighter....

Little One is in rehearsals for 'Grease' at the local theater. She does not allow me to watch rehearsals, so last night, I disguised myself and hid in order to watch. Little One surprises me on a daily basis (in good and bad ways!)...but once again, I was in awe of how good she was! Excuse me for being a mom for just a sec....

The Husband would like for me to add a little addendum to yesterday's blog. He claims the wet suits were meant to be used when we vacationed at Lake George. Unfortunately, we never got there, so this did not pan out....

Two more days of school...this makes me very happy. I am so ready to not have any homework for a few weeks....

That's it for today...off to do errands......until next week.....

On Being Careful What You Ask For...

There was a very funny article in the WSJ yesterday entitled "The Gift that Needs Forgiving". The gist of article was about the crazy gifts that men sometimes give at Christmas. There were stories of listerine, nasal strips and cases of chapstick. There was a fuzzy nightgown from WalMart with a picture of dogs with balls in their mouths on it. There were men's tennis shoes in a size not even close to the wife's foot...and it went on and on. The funniest line was "When you ask a man what he wants for Christmas, and he says "Nothing", he means it. When you ask a woman what she wants for Christmas and she says "Nothing", God help you if you believe her." This made me belly-laugh. I am guilty of this all of the time. I always tell The Husband "Don't worry about a gift"....but the few times he has semi-listened, I pouted.

I've written before in this blog about how The Husband is a great gift-giver. Stellar, really. If I never get another gift from him, he has done enough for a lifetime (Refer to above, Husband...I'm being gracious). Therefore, I feel like I can reveal the one time he slipped up on this title. The first year we were married, under the tree were matching scuba-diving suits...his and hers. Now, the problem with this was that we didn't scuba dive. Granted, we had gone for a couple of hours on our honeymoon....but that about summed it up. I hadn't asked for one....in fact, I was totally thrown for about a minute. Big Sis and the Senior were 'Little Ones' back then, and I remember them asking "What are those?" They have never forgotten about the scuba suits to this day...and when that particular memory comes up...many tears are shed in laughter. (Let me explain for The Husband. He loves Costco. You know that new show Modern Family? Well, did you see the episode where they went to Costco? Cam loves it...and his partner is a snob and makes fun of it, then buys out the store. This is exactly how it is with me and The Husband.....he LOVES it....I am the snob who somehow finds a cart load of "stuff" to buy......but I digress...I am absolutely positive that The Husband spotted those suits in Costco and thought to himself "Ooh..maybe we'll scuba dive one day...meanwhile, that's a great price")....and so that is the Story of the Scuba Suit Christmas.

So this year, as I search for the perfect present for The Husband, I'm thinking of hobbies that we might take up in the future....should I go with the bow and arrow? or perhaps a bowling ball? I'm not sure...I'd better head to Costco and check out the specials. And while I'm at it, I'll wrap up some contact solution and toothpaste...

Until tomorrow...

On How Much Should go Under the Tree....

When I was a little girl, I guess about 10 years old, I remember having a perfect Christmas. I got a clock radio, which for some reason had been my heart's desire. This probably psychologically explains a lot about me...I'm not sure what it says, and I probably don't want to know...but I remember being absolutely thrilled. I also received a generic winter coat, which I don't remember very well, and a jewelry box that my big brother sent me from college. It is tough to decide which I treasured more...the radio or the jewelry box. I adored my big brother, and I would have treasured a bobby pin if he had sent that. But the beautiful musical box with the pretty lady and baby on the front that played 'Love Story' made me cry with joy. I still have that little jewelry box to this day. The radio didn't make it as long, but I do remember taking it to college a few years later.

Fast forward several years, and those memories continue to shape the way I see gift-giving over the holidays. That story is the equivalent of my dad's "I walked 5 miles in snow to get to school" story to my kids. But I am constantly reminding them that "the reason for the season" is much bigger and more important than how many video games or stuffed animals show up under the tree on Christmas morning. It is way too easy this time of year to get caught up in all of the "Did I get them enough?" hoop-a-la.

If I have learned anything in my life, it is that gratitude is one of the major keys to happiness. The ability to be thankful and appreciative for everything we are given...is a blessing and a gift. The flip side of that is that when you give someone too much, little by little, you take away their ability to be appreciative. It would be easy to use my kids as an example of this...but I'm gonna use myself instead. I am a voracious, if not obsessive reader. When I was in college, and short on money, I would trek to the local used bookstore and trade in a stack of books for another stack. I don't think I ever bought a book from a regular bookstore in those years. Now these days, I practically live at Barnes and Noble. I think nothing of picking up a book (or books, says The Husband) on a regular basis. The thought of heading to the used bookstore would not appeal to me these days. Am I spoiled? I guess. But again, it's all a matter of what you get use to.

My kids are pretty appreciative. If I get something for Big Sis, there is a thank you note in my mailbox before I get home. The Senior may not write a note, but she will call 30 times and tell me how much she likes it. (A few weeks ago, she actually called one evening just to thank me for being a great mom...wow...doesn't get any better than that). The Boy does not ask for a lot...and he has a generous heart. He is generally just as interested in what he is giving. Little One still makes the list and checks it twice....she still longs for stuff. But Little One is little...
So the challenge for me is to fight the urge to have that 5 minutes of happiness that comes from giving them too much. To fight the urge to run out and buy everything I have heard them mention. To fight the urge to give The Boy the phone even though he has not accomplished his end of the bargain on a few things. I'd love to see the smile....but yet what do I teach him if I do that? That deals aren't deals....and mom caves.

So this year, I will try and remember that restraint is the word...that gifts are not always material...that less is more.....and what is under the tree is sometimes less important than you might think...


In the end, it's up to me to continue to give them this gift of appreciation. I am ao tempted some years to over do it.....to keep asking "Do I have enough for them?". But even as I ask that question, I know the answer. The thought of their faces seeing a tree surrounded by gifts makes me smile...but the thought of them opening up a few presents and treasuring them the way I did that radio....that is priceless.

Until tomorrow....

The Yearly Gift Exchange

Saturday evening, we had our yearly Christmas celebration with our BFFs. This includes dinner and gift exchange, followed by some sort of activity. The Boy has been very sick since Friday, so he made a brief appearance, and then excused himself and headed back to bed (with his wonderful football signed by all of the Atlanta Falcons in hand...what a cool gift). Little One was thrilled by her jewelry-making bead set, and she set to work immediately designing some lovely necklaces. The Husband received an assortment of 'man stuff'... but he was drawn to the flashlight that goes on the forehead. He immediately took the sick Boy outside with him to try it out in the dark. These are the things that men do. I did, however, understand how that could be useful. Little One and I will enjoy wearing it at night while we search for crabs at the beach...

I received a beautiful tray that looked like a vintage french postcard...the kind of gift that just thrills you because it is given by someone who has to really know you well...Many thanks...

After all of the gift-giving, we settled down to watch the movie 'Julie and Julia'. Now as I have discussed before, we generally alternate back and forth between guy and girl picks for movies in this foursome. Last time, we watched 'Star Trek"...which though it was a "guy pick", was actually very good. So this time was the girls' turn...Another friend of mine had suggested "Julia" to me, saying that it would be right up my alley. And it was. But I have to admit to feeling a little guilty and embarrassed after the movie. It took place in Paris, and it dealt with French, writing...specifically blogging. It was as if I had invited people over to watch me do what I like. Though the guys were gracious enough to say that it wasn't the "worst they'd ever seen"....I will definitely be taking myself out of the equation on movie picks for awhile...

The Boy and I spent the day in our respective beds yesterday...he with a high fever, and me feeling sick, but not taking my temperature for 2 reasons....I figured if I didn't know, I didn't have it......and secondly, no matter how many times I sterilized the thermometer...germs would be spread. So this morning, we are headed to the doctor. He seems to be on the mend....but 3 days of high fever has him looking really worn.

Little One is fine...except for remembering that she forgot to do some homework...oh well

So until tomorrow...let's hope for good news at the doctor.....

On Loving Friends and Keeping it All in Perspective

I'm pre-blogging tonight. I spent the day translating the President's Nobel prize speech into french for some people. What had seemed like a fairly benign exercise ended up being more difficult since he used words like "nuclear stockpiles" and "intransigence" and "cultural leveling of modernenity".....not exactly my everyday french. But it was a good exercise and an interesting speech.



Tomorrow is the Little One's Christmas play. At 9:15 tonight, I realized that though I had made the 60 brownies I needed, I had forgotten the 60 small paper plates...oops...so a trip to the store was in order. I'm hopeful I don't wake up at 3:00am and remember something else I forgot.



A friend of mine is struggling. She does not read the blog, and she is not nearby, so I am not worried about invading her privacy here. For weeks, she has been alluding to a problem with one of her kids. I listened, but didn't inquire, because I just felt like she would talk when she was ready. Last night, she finally did. It all came spilling out. I wanted so badly to make her feel better. I wanted to let her know that after hearing the problem, I felt relieved. I wanted her to be able to step outside her life and look in for a minute, and see that everything would be ok...You know, "this too shall pass' and all of that. But you know, it is hard to see the picture when you're in it...and she cannot yet see that there is light at the end of this tunnel.



I've lived through similar 'stuff'. Not the same thing, but 'stuff'' that affects you the same way as a mom. After our conversation, I was acutely aware that I am at a very sweet point in my life....I have weathered the storms of the Big Sis and The Senior. They live responsible, loving lives now. They make their own decisions. On the other end of the spectrum are The Boy and Little One. They are not yet to the "scary years". They don't drive....date...etc, etc. They exhaust me more physically than emotionally. But those days are just around the corner.



So tonight, my heart and prayers go out to my friend. I want her to have some peace. I want her to have a good night's sleep. I want her to understand that better days are right around the corner. I just have to figure out how to help her see that....



As I prepare for Little One's cast party, I'll try and remember that these are the fun days...filled with the worries like "Do I have enough plates" or "Is her costume ok?".....It's all good...



Until tomorrow...

On Sarcasm and War Games....

Last night, I watched 'Prep and Landing'...the new Christmas Disney show, with Little One. It was a very sweet story of some elves who messed up, and then redeemed themselves in time for Christmas. We both loved it...but I was really struck by how much sarcasm was in the show. Now I love sarcasm in it's proper place (and if I don't..I married the wrong guy, and I am friends with the wrong people)...but I don't know that it belongs on a kid's Christmas program. When you watch the old "Rudolph' or 'Frosty'...there is no sarcasm. No attempt at a "wink" to the adults. The problem with sarcasm is that your audience has to "get it"...or it just sounds mean. I worry that the little ones watching might not "get it". ...But other than that .....really cute.

The Boy made a list of games he wants for his Wii for Christmas. Now when we first bought him the Wii, the deal was that we would only get sports games to go with it. That way, I didn't have to worry about content. Well, our neighbor's son has a whole range of games and The Boy goes over and plays them on occasion. I consider him lucky that I don't go over and edit what he can do...he finds this notion appalling. So this year, he asked for something called Call Of Duty, World at War. He actually begged for it. And because I have been such a stickler on the "no phone" rule, I decided to bend. I ran to Target and asked the lady to get that game out for me. As she began to ring it up, she asked for my birthdate...Well, gosh, why would she need that? Turns out it's like an R rated movie...there is evidently so much violence and bad language in this game that you have to put an adult warning on it. Ok. No thank you. Had to hold up the line and have her void it. The thing is, I have nothing against boys playing 'war stuff'. My 3 brothers had about 1000 army men and they had daily battles all over the neighborhood. But there was no blood and gore, and certainly no bad language (well, that I ever heard). I just don't like the idea of my 12 year old watching these images over and over again. What's that I hear? A collective rolling of the eyes from my daughters.......TOO BAD. Remember, you all now thank me for not letting you watch 'Dawson's Creek' when you were 13.....

The Husband told me the latest rumor concerning Tiger...seems his wife has already bought a house in Sweden and is headed back there. "You'd already be in Paris, wouldn't you?" remarked The Husband. Well yes, I would. I didn't think that the first day, or maybe the second...but by the time the 5th woman had come 0ut with details....my ticket would have been processed. I think I am forgiving. I think I am realistic. I think I am able to evaluate my part in things......but I also believe in self-preservation. I hope this woman goes somewhere and surrounds herself with people who are kind and loving...and starts over. The end.

So that is it for today. The Husband is "working from home".....this means he is still sleeping. He has promised to bring home a tree today....and Little One has given her specifications....

Until tomorrow, with hopes of having a beautiful tree...and a day closer to the big Christmas play...






Until tomorrow....

Random Acts of Patience

I was waiting in line at Target yesterday... a really long line. In front of me was an older couple, obviously enjoying themselves, chatting away with the check out girl. The man was telling her that he remembered her from their last visit. In fact, he said, she was one of the reasons they had come back to Target, because she was so friendly. Behind me, a group of collective sighs were so loud that I felt them practically push me forward. To be honest, I was feeling impatient too, having several more errands to accomplish. But as the couple left and I stepped forward, I was struck by the look on the cashier's face. Pure happiness. "Those people were so nice. They made my day. Said they came here because of me." She paused a minute. "I've had a lot of nice people lately. And then some really mean...but I just don't give them any thought." I smiled at her and took a deep breath. I hoped the people behind me had heard her. I had a quick flashback to my college days when I worked at the local shoe department in the mall 3 nights a week. I remembered how a kind person could literally make my day. And a nasty one could make me cry. I set my stuff out and began to chat with her about this and that. We wished each other a good day..and I was off to my next stop....

I dropped by Kohl's to pick up some sweats for The Boy. As I approached the register to pay, I noticed the line was once again very long. One lone weary-looking lady was ringing up. I considered putting my stuff back...but the sale price was too good...and The Boy needed some sweats...so I got in line. The next person decided to open an account. This sent the people in back of me over the edge. They started saying things like "She needs some back up. Where's her help?! They need more registers open." Well, the poor lady just continued to work, either oblivious to the comments...or not wishing to engage. When I finally reached the register, the lady behind me remarked to her, "You need some help."......The sales lady replied "I keep calling, but nobody comes." My heart went out to her. It was only about 11:00, and she looked exhausted. I felt like punching the lady behind me. Was it really worth making her feel bad? I mean, we hadn't been in line longer than 10 minutes. And it is the holiday season. Shouldn't we go in expecting that?

I thought about this all the way home. You hear a lot this time of year about "random acts of kindness". In fact, one of my best friends was just on the receiving end of some last weekend at the mall, when someone returned her debit card to her from the ATM. But maybe we should also be committing conscious acts of politeness and patience. In our texting, blackberrying, facebooking society...we have come to expect things to happen on our own schedule...and when it doesn't...we complain. From road rage...to the check out line...we feel the need to hurry everyone along...unless it is us. I'm not lecturing here...I'm as guilty of this as anyone else. I've caught myself honking a few times lately, anxious to get where I am going a few minutes faster. My initial reaction at Target was impatience when the older couple was chatting. I'm ashamed of that. What's the hurry? Isn't an extra moment to interact with someone...ask how they are...wish them a nice day....worth the time?

I'd been thinking lately of getting a blackberry...joining the world of the texters...It seemed like a good idea to be able to get a message to someone whenever the mood struck me......But today, I'm reconsidering this. Maybe...for me, at least...it's better not to encourage the idea that everything has to happen immediately. Maybe there is still some credence to the idea that we don't have to say it or do it the minute we think it. I'll give it some more thought...

So today, as I set out to run some errands, I'll remember that with each human interaction I make, I have the ability to make someone smile...or not. It is not a small thing....

Until tomorrow....

On Monday Morning Mysteries...

It's hard enough to get up and going on Monday morning...but the following are the small mysteries of life that keep me frustrated, yet curious...



1) Why are there always 3 pairs of pants lying on the floor after The Boy leaves his room? We know it is not because he is trying several on for looks, because the light never comes on in the room while he gets dressed.



2) Why does Little One ask for "two more minutes of sleep" every morning, and then pass me on the stairs on the way back down?



3) Why does The Boy say he is not very hungry, and then proceed to eat 17 waffles with "lots of butter"?



4) Why does Little One refuse to brush the bottom half of her hair every morning, yet take great pains to put her headband in?



5) Why (and even more important, how) is there toothpaste on the side wall of the bathroom. I understand the sink...and the mirror...but what gestures are required to get it on the wall?



6) Why does The Boy have to watch all the ESPN highlights, even if he has seen the same ones that night before??



7) Why does Little One insist on having me straighten her hair on rainy days, when we both know it will be curly again before we get to school?



8) Why do the cats jockey for eating position every morning when they see me coming...and then try to knock ME out of the way too? Seriously lacking in basic intelligence....



9) Why does the dog refuse to eat before I go back inside? It's like a test of wills....



10)Why does The Husband let his blackberry play the wake up song 452 times until I have to go in and turn it off? Does he realize that the blackberry is the alarm...not me??



11) How can it take The Husband 39 minutes to get ready...when it only takes me 7? (Ok, I shower the night before, but still...)



So that is it for today. Monday mornings are always a little difficult, but it is the holiday season, so I am going to attempt to overlook these minor nuisances. Until tomorrow, when hopefully The Husband will fulfill his yearly duty and come home with a lovely Christmas tree....

On Elf Costumes.....

I had to play hooky for a few days. I'd like to blame it on writing or painting, but that would be a lie. Just busy, everyday life stuff that needed addressing. Little One got her braces on, and unfortunately, she is in a lot of pain. I offered to let her stay home from school, but she bravely passed on the offer and said she could make it....but by the way, could I please deliver vanilla milkshakes for lunch each day since she cannot eat? Well, ok. No problem.



Meanwhile, the Christmas play is about a week away. I volunteered to co-coordinate this event...and I am happy to do so...but it suddenly dawned on me that this is an event where 50 kids and about 120 parents and grandparents have to be "refreshed". This means that a little more thought, effort, and yes, delegation, must go into the process. Now the play is "international" in subject...so we decided to put a little "European flair" into the whole production. Then we realized that the play only mentions sticky buns and potato cakes....so we had to take another direction. Back to donut holes and Christmas cookies.



The play also demands a costume. Little One and BFF are elves. Matching elves. So we spent several days online searching for elf costumes. We must have perused 100 websites for the appropriate costume...and finally, she settled on one. Now it only came in "one size fits all adults"...and Little One is VERY petite. So ever since it arrived the other day, I have been trying to get her to try it on. Well, last night, after basketball practice, on her way to bed, I made her put it on. Uh, it was a little big. Make that huge. So huge that The Husband even said "Can you take it in a little?"........A little?? Well, a tired Little One reverted back to 3 years old and threw the tantrum of a lifetime. I also reverted back somewhere ....and began reminding her that "when I was little, I would have had to make my own costume!!" .....Did I really say that? Yes, I did. And then I yelled at The Husband because....well...because he was there. And the The husband did what he always does in these situations....he whispered something under his breath which cannot be repeated....
So after a 30 minute scene, Little One calmed down. I promised to "work on" the costume and fix it to her specifications. I came downstairs and made a big show of not speaking to The Husband....and then I tried to channel the designers on Project Runway....blocking out the fact that I made a C+ in sewing in home economics (how old am I? I just said Home Ec).....I cut and trimmed and sewed....and guess what?Not bad!....Shorter, less puffy, sleeker....I was so proud of myself. When Little One came down this morning, I think I even saw a slight smile when she saw it. Now it still needs work....but I'm feeling confident in my skills.......wishing there was a runway competition at the end of the week to show it off....

So that is is for today. Off for the weekend to see my brothers. So until next week, when the big play is near.....

On Changing My Mind... Maybe

Just a couple of things....



1) I may have to amend yesterday's posting on Tiger Woods after the news this morning. I'm not rushing to judgement...but all of this 'texting' stuff and women coming out of the woodwork tend to discourage me from wanting to defend him. Yesterday I felt protective...today I'm leaning towards "you made your bed, now lie in it"......But hey, too soon to have an opinion.



2) I personally did not like the President's speech on Afghanistan last night. I don't think you can defend sending 30,000 troops over there by saying that it is important for the good of the world...and then in the next sentence say that you'll bring them home in 18 months regardless of the outcome. It felt like a defensive speech crafted to appease his detractors on the left and right. To the Michael Moores of the world who want to just get out...he explained that there was real danger there that needs to be addressed. To those who think we should be sending more troops, he explained that it was a very expensive war and we could not be there on an open-ended basis. It was definitely not a "rally the troops" speech...but more of a 'well, if I have to"...not exactly what I would think our military would want to hear. I don't like that he is always so apologetic....BE THE PRESIDENT. Take a stand, whatever that is, and then state it and move on. Don't waste our time trying to justify everything. Didn't he ever hear that you can't please all the people all the time??

(One defense of him...I appreciated hearing that his delay of making his mind up on this matter did not put the troops at any risk. If you listened to the conservative press...you would have thought that he was twiddling his thumbs while the troops were waiting. Evidently, the needed troops were not requested until 2010. Shame on the press for making it seem like he was just ignoring his military advisors...)



3)On the home front, Little One is in rehearsals for two different plays: 'Grease' at the local playhouse, which requires her to dance and sing, and the Christmas play at school which requires her to be an elf and act out the lines she has written. I am not allowed to see her rehearse either one...so both should be interesting. Picking out the costume for the elf took about a week. I never knew that there were so many versions of the Christmas elf. Unfortunately, there are several"'sexy" versions on line which I had to talk her out of. She did not understand why a 10 year old would probably not want to wear stockings and heels in the 4th grade play....

4) The Boy's schedule is full. He continues to practice basketball for his team...but he also has weight training, endurance training and batting lessons. He and I look at each other every morning and say 'What sport today?"......On another note....he is in the midst of writing his first research paper. An outline had to be constructed. Can somebody explain to me why the same boy who can organize his baseball cards by color, player, size, batting average, etc,. cannot seem to understand the pertinence of an outline?

5) Thanks to those who have asked about my nose. It still hurts, but it no longer looks crooked...and this is the first morning since the incident that I have not had to put on several layers of make up to keep from being questioned by the police...

That's it for this rainy day. I'm thinking of pulling our the Christmas decorations. Little One has already reminded me to "do it better this year".....until tomorrow......

On Leaving Tiger Alone....

A few weeks ago, I came across a picture of Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin. I remember thinking that it was remarkable how this lovely young woman had been able to stay out of the lime light. In a situation (relationship) where others might have been tempted to try and share the stage with their famous spouse, she had definitely chosen another path. Except for the occasional picture with Tiger, you never saw her. She is either extremely shy or very humble.

Fast forward a few weeks, and everything has changed. Since last Friday when the "incident" took place, all you see all over the news are the few pictures of Elin that are out there. And it's not just People magazine or The Enquirer that are participating in this. Fox News had several attorneys on throughout the day yesterday discussing Tiger's 'dilema' and whether or not he was being counseled wisely by his own team. NPR did a 10 minute breakdown of the whole "situation" this morning. Everywhere you look, there are pictures of the damaged SUV, tapes of the 911 call, interviews with 'friends'....and on it goes.

Here's my take on it. Leave them alone, for goodness sakes. There was no crime committed here. Nobody is hurt or injured, besides Tiger and his pride. Why do we need to delve into the reasons or the details? If this happened anywhere else to anyone else, nobody would hear about it. The police wouldn't be involved. Now I know, I know, Tiger is a celebrity...and therefore he is subject to this kind of thing. But you know what? He has always conducted himself with such dignity and respect. Well, except for the occasional curse word....and I heard one of the news announcers say this morning that he "refused to be political too often". Sorry, I thought that was a good thing. My point is....given the stellar way these two have conducted themselves...can't we just leave them alone? The Husband said that Tiger's explanation that his wife broke the back window of his car with a golf club is "insulting". I disagree. It is either true...or it is a kind attempt to protect his wife. Given the ugly rumor and innuendo going around, there is a good chance it is the latter.
Who among us (married couples) have never had a disagreement or fight that they would prefer not to have aired publicly. I'm not saying I have ever chased The Husband with a golf club....but then again, I have never been in a situation where his bad judgement or behavior was splattered on the front of the magazines and papers at the grocery store check-out.It's always easy to jump to judgement...but the old adage "walk a mile in my shoes' surely applies here.

So without further lecture, I just hope that this holiday season, we can all remember that there is a young family at stake here...and though it is salacious and distracting to continue to delve into the details...it is kinder and more respectful to look the other way.

So that's it for today....hopefully there will be some news in the next few days that will shine the light somewhere else...isn't the President speaking on TV about Afghanistan tonight?....Until tomorrow....