On the Stages of Life....

I haven't written in so long. I think I've almost forgotten how to go about "blogging", but the past week has inspired me to give it a try.

Before I go any further,some of the faux-names in the blog have to be updated. The Husband remains The Husband. The Boy remains the Boy. Big Sis remains Big Sis. But I'm going to re-name the Rebel and Little One. I think they have graduated from their former aliases, so this is as good a time as any to re-name. The Rebel will now be called "New Mom"...pretty self-explanatory. Little One, who just turned 12, will now be known as the Pre-teen. Again, just changing with the times...

A few days ago, New Mom gave birth to my third grandchild. She was scheduled to be induced early in the morning, so the Pre-Teen and I journeyed to the hospital to wait it out. It was an exciting day, with a steady stream of family and friends stopping in to say hello and well-wish. Big Sis was waiting it out at home since she didn't want to subject little Buddha Boy (grandchild 2) to the germy hospital waiting room. New Mom's dad came about mid-day and brought Little Guy (grandchild 1) to wait on the arrival of his baby sister. Turns out he was more excited about playing paper football and constructing a sticker city than the birth of his sister...but when you are 5, you must have your priorities.

Anyway, over the course of 12 hours,I alternated between running back to sit and chat with New Mom when she felt like it, playing with Little Guy, taking the Preteen to the cafeteria for multiple snacks...and just watching as family after family came through, all there to celebrate the addition of a new baby to their family. I felt a bit like I was in the 'Friends' episode where Rachel is in labor, but mother after mother keeps being delivered before her. It was sort of a surreal day, filled with nervous anticipation. We knew that our new addition was to be a girl... a welcome addition after 2 boys. And most who came were focused on this. But for the mother of the New Mom, the day was more about worrying about New Mom. This is what happens I think when you are blessed with grandchildren while you still have young children. You are not able to let go of "mommyness" in exchange for 'grandmomminess". Good or bad, we are all kind of bound to where we are in the cycle of life. I am still in the throes of everyday mommydom. My day is structured around the physical needs of my 2 children at home (3 if you count The Husband) and the emotional needs of my 2 older girls. I am still several years away from what I would call the "check-off point"...or the moment when you realize that your children are self-sufficient, self-sustaining...and not in need of your worry every minute of the day.

This strange mid-stage of life is often a difficult one. While other mothers are lunching and shopping with older children and taking grand kids for overnights...I am still dropping off at school, helping with homework and hosting sleepovers. I feel the constant push and pull of trying to balance out being a mom with all that that entails...yet also being a "Noni", with all that that needs to entail.

The happiest moment of the day for me was not what you would expect. Seeing the newest addition for the first time...our Little Peanut...who is absolutely without a doubt, with apologies to every baby who has come before in my life...THE most beautiful baby I've ever seen...this was a joy and blessing. But to be honest, the most precious moment of the day was seeing New Mom....happy and healthy....

Because you see, no matter how I try, I cannot cross that thresh-hold yet. I saw New Mom's mother-in-law head straight for the Little Peanut, and I smiled because I knew she is there....she has left mommydom and entered grandmommydom.....I still have a ways to go....

So this week, when I journey to see the New Mom and the perfect Peanut, I will try not to wrestle with the fact that I am stuck between 2 stages of life. I will just try and embrace the blessing of being a part of both. In the words of the very wise Big Sis, "It's a compliment to be needed by so many people..."

Until tomorrow....

Trials and Tribulations of the School Drop-Off line...

I've been brought out of semi-blog retirement today to discuss some pressing issues. It was brought to my attention this morning that the school pick-up line can be a frustrating, yet interesting, place each morning. I'm fairly sure a person's personality can be defined by their actions in this line. Now, to be fair, it must be stated that the person who brought this up to me was a male. And before I go any further, I need to "out" myself on some pick up line issues:

1) Each morning, I drop off my kids in the wrong line. We are suppose to go to another area, but due to my laziness, and my kid's insistence, I shoulder this guilt (and the occasional obscenity from friends when the line is backed up).

2) At least 40% of the drivers in drop-off line are men. Now this amazes me, because in our household, this has only happened on a few occasions. There was the time that I was in the hospital...and oh yes...the death in the family. To be fair,it makes sense in our family for me to do it. But even if it didn't, I'm fairly sure The Husband would not last a week. For one thing, the kids become extremely depressed when they hear that dad is going to do drop-off. The complaints range from "He'll make us late!" to "He doesn't know where to go". These are both valid points. The Husband is only familiar with the ballfield and the gymnasium. He sees no problem with dropping the kids wherever it is most convenient for him. If the line is too long, they may get dropped off at the Waffle House down the street and told to walk. If questioned on this, The Husband will mumble something about "building character" and "over-protective mom"...

Now that I have established my own drop-off shortcomings, I feel free to be critical of others.

First, we have the new people who have never done it before. They pull into the school and stop...and then proceed at 2 mph before finally rolling down their window and asking for help. On a 1 to 10 of irritation, they get a 5.

Next we have the mom's that insist on getting out of their car to help their kids out. I'm not talking about kids that have too much to unload, or kids that have broken legs...these are the mothers that just feel the need to stop the line while they give their kids final instructions for the day, sign any papers that need signing, or perhaps chat with the teachers on the curb. As they come around to get back in their car, they do the thing which seems to irritate the waiting line the most: The semi-crouch/wave/slight smile apology. Translated, this means, I realize that I have just been rude and caused you to wait...but by crouching and waving, it makes it all better. In the next 5 cars, the driver politely nods while cursing under his/her breath...

However petty it sounds, it must also be pointed out that the above moms generally wear a baseball cap. There must be some correlation to the action and the cap, but more research must be done in order to link these two.

Last but not least, there is the line-cutter. Having been raised by, and now married to this type...I am very familiar with this one. This is the driver who pretends not to see the line, and just heads to the most convenient spot to drop-off. These people feel no guilt...and they certainly don't feel the need to wave or smile....because their time is just more important than your time....

So that about wraps it up for drop-off line. I suppose it would be a bit more bearable if this was an opportunity for more quality conversation time with the kids while waiting...but unfortunately, it only extends the amount of time that I have to listen to some rap song talking about "my shawty" or "bottoms up"....

So until tomorrow...or next month...or the next time an irritation must be discussed...