On The Lessons Learned from Family Vacation...

We're settling back in after the family vacation. After a few aborted attempts to blog on the trip, I decided to wait awhile and gain some perspective. After all, sometimes the best conclusions can only be drawn after you've had time to look back, forget the bad, and concentrate on the good...

In retrospect, I think one of the lessons learned from a family vacation is that everyone is on their own agenda. Each of us has our own expectations of what we want to do or accomplish, and any problems arise when these expectations aren't met. I'm thinking that next time, a pre-vacation family meeting is in order. Everyone needs to lay out what they want to get out of the trip...This hopefully gives everyone an idea of what is to come...and eliminates those pesky "perfect fantasy" notions that some of us tend to hang our hat on before we leave...

On this past trip, we all knew that we were going to see a lot of baseball. This was fine with everyone. But let's review each family member's pre-vacation perspective:

Little One: Little One is fairly easy to please. She harbors a certain set of fears that many reading this blog know of, but cannot be stated for many reasons. As long as these set of fears are respected and avoided...she can pretty much hang with anything. Throw in an occasional stuffed animal and a couple nights of sleeping with mom, and she is good to go...

The Boy: The Boy is easy. It's all about the meals, the sleep, the psp, and the Braves game. The Boy is a planner. He likes to know each morning (which for him would start at 12:00 if he had his way) what and where his meals will be. If he knows this...and he can be assured of at least one barbecue burger, he's a happy camper. If he is allowed to bring his psp, he is even happier...and if you assure him that he gets to watch the Braves game...he has hit the Holy Grail....life is good.

Ok. Now The Husband. This is the tricky one. The Husband truly wants everyone to have a good time. Really. But he also needs for everyone to abide by his schedule. And you need to know up front that he is in a race. We have never quite figured out the specifics of this race, but suffice it to say that no matter where you are, YOU MUST HURRY. If you are in the airport, you must race to your gate, even if you are 2 hours early. If you are attending a game, you must race to and from your car. If you are unable to keep up with him, you are in deep trouble. This means everyone must memorize all of the specifics...where you are parked....where the hotel is....in case you get left behind. Also, if you are travelling with The Husband, you must be aware that there will be little "surprises" along the way. He may decide to alter the plan at any given moment...and you better be ready to make the adjustment. And one more thing....vacation does not mean that The Husband does not work. It is a given that he will be on the blackberry 3 hours a day. If it rings in the car, the noise level had better be lowered quickly. Once you arrive at your hotel, he WILL be on the computer for a minimum of 2 hours an evening. Do Not make the mistake of bringing this subject up, or you may get the "how do you think we can take this trip?" lecture...

Ok, that leaves me. Now, The Husband thinks I am going to act like a Saint and declare that all I want is for everyone to be happy and get along. But I have decided to come clean here. I DO want everyone to be happy. I do want everyone to get along. But I have a few more minor requests:

1) I need coffee within 45 minutes of my waking time. If I don't get this, I may be...grumpy.
2) I need some sort of breakfast-related item to eat before I can have lunch. The Husband and Boy skip breakfast and then eat Mexican for lunch. NO. I cannot do it. Please, an apple....a doughnut....something....
3) I hate to rush. I'm never late, and I can abide by a schedule, but it goes against my distracted nature to rush. I like to "saunter". The Husband may refer to this as "dilly-dallying",but who cares?
4)I do not like to pre-eat. This is the term I use to describe what The Husband and Boy do at a buffet. They eat enough so that they will not be hungry later on. Not so for me. I want to be hungry later on. I want to eat at the ball stadium. I want to stop 40 times and try different stuff...
5) I have to sleep. If I don't, I may be....grumpy. The Husband makes few allowances for things like sleep. This creates "issues".

In the end, it's all about negotiating different personalities, isn't it? Just because you are on vacation, it doesn't guarantee that every moment will be fun. Let's face it, when you put 4 personalities in a car and hotel room for 7 days, there are likely to be "issues". I think the way to deal with this is to let go of the idea of the "perfect" vacation. You have to remember that being in a different state or even country doesn't mean that we are different.

Patience...that is the key word. And negotiation. And thankfulness. Because not everyone gets to take a vacation, and so just the ability to take one should be a check in the "grateful' column...

All of this considered....it was a good trip....