I was driving down the road listening to a song the other day. I thought it was a Rolling Stones song, but I wasn't sure of the title, so I glanced down at the radio screen. It said "oldies", and I remember thinking, no, that can't be right. That's not an oldie. It's only a few years old. Now I know the fact that it was a Rolling Stones song should have tipped me off, because anytime your lead singer is their 60's, you know there probably haven't been many recent hits. But it wasn't until I remembered the first time I had heard it that I realized that it was indeed an oldie....
Later that night, The Husband and I were watching the Little league World Series, and he suddenly said "Did you just see Bucky Dent?" I had missed him, because I was half- watching and half -reading. "No, why?" ..."Well, do you remember him? Do you know what he looked like?" ..."Of course. Bucky Dent. The Yankees...nice looking guy, black hair..." The Husband laughed. "Well, not any more. Totally gray. A little paunchy." ..I got on my laptop and did a search...and sure enough, there was Bucky Dent in all of his middle-age glory. The Husband and I just shook our heads. "I think we're getting old", I said.
So when I turned on my computer yesterday morning and saw the little message that The Bother-in-Law had left for me on facebook, I guess I wasn't that surprised. I had used a quote from the old movie Love Story in the previous day's blog title, and he was chastising me, saying that I needed to be quoting more updated movies...that (and I quote) "only old fossils like you and me can quote that old movie".......Ok, in my defense, I was a little girl when that movie came out. I don't think I ever saw the whole movie...although I did play the theme song on the piano in one of my piano recitals...but I always thought the quote was sweet. I've quoted lots of movies in the blog...Forrest Gump...Is that considered an "oldie" now? And what about "You've Got Mail"? Is that an oldie? I don't know...and honestly, a good quote stands the test of time.
A little later, I did my morning yoga routine...a 30 minute show that I do daily. This particular day, the narrator stressed that these were "extremely challenging poses". Well, when I finished, I was feeling pretty darn proud of myself...when suddenly I had a flashback of swimming several miles a day as a 10 year old. Then playing tennis for hours a day as a teenager. In my twenties, I did aerobics, played raquetball, and did Jane Fonda's workout religiously when I was pregnant. Even my thirties were spent running and doing weights...and post pregnancies, I sweated through Cindy Crawford's pregnancy recovery tapes. ...so you see....all of a sudden, finishing my 30 minute yoga didn't seem so amazing. Ok, I reminded myself, I do walk/jog most evenings for a few miles...but even that is more for peace of mind....the word 'fossil' kept running through my mind...
The Boy says to me on occasion, "I just want to freeze you the way you are now." Funny, that's exactly how I feel about him. But it doesn't work that way, does it? Life rolls on...and I suppose the key is to roll with it...Our looks, lives and abilities change, but the meaning doesn't have to, does it? At the end of her life, my mom was in poor physical shape. She was experiencing dementia. She wasn't able to do get around much or remember much. But none of that mattered to me. I would give anything to have her back...just like that...for even an hour. Because it was her spirit and love that counted...not how far she could walk or how many movies she could quote...
So tomorrow, I'll continue to hum Rolling Stones songs, quote old movies, and do my yoga...and enjoy it...knowing that being an "old fossil" is ok...
Monday, August 31, 2009
On Being a Hypocrite...
Over the last few months, I have written extensively in the blog (some would say ad nauseum) about the over-abundance of technology used these days. I criticize the schools for laptops, The Husband for the blackberry, The Boy for wanting a cell phone, Big Sister for facebooking...and on and on. Well, this weekend, I was shoved off my high-horse....Let me explain.
I picked up the kids from school and we headed to our old neighborhood to pick up Little One's old BFF. This little girl was her friend from preschool to, well, whenever we moved here a few years ago. They were very close, but hadn't seen each other in 2 years, mainly due to me being a bad mommy. Little one always asked about her, but the distance (an hour) just always seemed to make any connections impossible. Easy for me to say, since I stay in touch with her mom, who is one of my best friends. We don't see each other as often as I would like, but we....talk on our cell phones during afternoon pick-up time, e-mail...and even facebook. She reads the blog and comments often....so all in all, we are able to keep in touch due to technology, right?
Anyway, it occurred to me on the way to pick her up that maybe after 2 years, things might have changed. Maybe the anticipation had been better than the weekend would be. But happily, after 2 minutes together in the car, I was proved wrong. They discovered within 5 minutes that they both loved Selena Gomez, the colors green and yellow...and they both no longer had bangs!!! Could they be twins?...separated at birth??....No, The Boy patiently replied, they couldn't...different parents...and he looked at me with the knowing "look" that only The Boy can give me....
So we started a lovely weekend. We arrived at Grandma's house, unloaded the dog, unpacked the bags, plugged in the laptop....and what??? No connection?? Ok, well, there had been storms. Maybe it was just off for awhile. We ate dinner, went swimming, played outside...and tried again. Still no connection. I started to get that anxious feeling you get when....well, I don't know. Just that feeling that I wanted to "be on". I had no work to do...no blog to write...no e-mail to respond to.....but look....I Wanted To Get ON!!! I called Big Sister who lives in the same neighborhood and asked if her laptop was down....nope, good to go. SIL even got on the phone (and I should have been ashamed to have him do this, as this is what he does all day at work) and tried to talk me through some strategies to make it work...but to no avail. The Husband had already abandoned us and gone back to work...because he cannot be without his internet access. So there I was on a Friday night, with no access to "surfing". A tragedy. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered complaining about our dependence on this stuff. The word "hypocrite" crept into my mind.... but I pushed that thought away. Thankfully, I had saved the new fall Vogue, all 600 pages. So The Boy settled for the Braves Game, the Little One and BFF watched a Selena Gomez movie, The Husband watched the Little League World Series....and I disappeared into the land of Vogue...
The next morning, The Husband summoned a "techie" to see what was up.....and low and behold...it was bad news. A "fried modem". Now I have no clue as to what this is...but I heard the words "I'll replace it Monday morning"...and my heart sank. Two more days without my "access". The Husband, seeing my face, offered to take me to his office, but I couldn't just abandon the kids....so I gave up. There would be no surfing, no shopping, no e-mailing, no facebooking....I would be forced to live in the real world.
It was actually a wonderful weekend. Little One and BFF played together like they had never been apart, and I found myself promising to set up an e-mail account for Little One when we got home so they could keep in touch...because after all, what is good for the goose is good for the gander...if I could keep up with my friends that way, so could she.
We packed up and headed home on Sunday, and as soon as we got home, I immediately 'booted up"...and nothing. Thankfully, The Husband worked his magic, and I was on!! 51 emails! 7 facebook notifications! 10 shopping alerts! Oh the joy!....But the first thing I did was create a kid's account for Little One, who immediately launched an e-mail to the weekend BFF. And she was immediately met with a sweet response, declaring in big pink letters, that the weekend had been "Great!!". I was so happy for both of them, because now, due to that monster of technology, they will be able to chat in the evening about school and Selena, and even plan another weekend.
Big Sister e-mailed me that she was "cutting the facebook cord". 650 friends had become too many to keep up with...too much drama. She had tried merely deleting some names...but there had been upheaval and more drama. So she got out all together....how long can it last???How will she communicate with her friends during the day? How will she make fun of my blog? How will she joke with The Niece...and the list goes on and on.....I think we will see her back soon....under a new, perhaps "secret" name....
So until tomorrow, when I promise to refrain from technology-bashing for at least a month...but The Boy should take no solace from this...for there will still be no cell phones until there is a name on the honor roll...
I picked up the kids from school and we headed to our old neighborhood to pick up Little One's old BFF. This little girl was her friend from preschool to, well, whenever we moved here a few years ago. They were very close, but hadn't seen each other in 2 years, mainly due to me being a bad mommy. Little one always asked about her, but the distance (an hour) just always seemed to make any connections impossible. Easy for me to say, since I stay in touch with her mom, who is one of my best friends. We don't see each other as often as I would like, but we....talk on our cell phones during afternoon pick-up time, e-mail...and even facebook. She reads the blog and comments often....so all in all, we are able to keep in touch due to technology, right?
Anyway, it occurred to me on the way to pick her up that maybe after 2 years, things might have changed. Maybe the anticipation had been better than the weekend would be. But happily, after 2 minutes together in the car, I was proved wrong. They discovered within 5 minutes that they both loved Selena Gomez, the colors green and yellow...and they both no longer had bangs!!! Could they be twins?...separated at birth??....No, The Boy patiently replied, they couldn't...different parents...and he looked at me with the knowing "look" that only The Boy can give me....
So we started a lovely weekend. We arrived at Grandma's house, unloaded the dog, unpacked the bags, plugged in the laptop....and what??? No connection?? Ok, well, there had been storms. Maybe it was just off for awhile. We ate dinner, went swimming, played outside...and tried again. Still no connection. I started to get that anxious feeling you get when....well, I don't know. Just that feeling that I wanted to "be on". I had no work to do...no blog to write...no e-mail to respond to.....but look....I Wanted To Get ON!!! I called Big Sister who lives in the same neighborhood and asked if her laptop was down....nope, good to go. SIL even got on the phone (and I should have been ashamed to have him do this, as this is what he does all day at work) and tried to talk me through some strategies to make it work...but to no avail. The Husband had already abandoned us and gone back to work...because he cannot be without his internet access. So there I was on a Friday night, with no access to "surfing". A tragedy. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered complaining about our dependence on this stuff. The word "hypocrite" crept into my mind.... but I pushed that thought away. Thankfully, I had saved the new fall Vogue, all 600 pages. So The Boy settled for the Braves Game, the Little One and BFF watched a Selena Gomez movie, The Husband watched the Little League World Series....and I disappeared into the land of Vogue...
The next morning, The Husband summoned a "techie" to see what was up.....and low and behold...it was bad news. A "fried modem". Now I have no clue as to what this is...but I heard the words "I'll replace it Monday morning"...and my heart sank. Two more days without my "access". The Husband, seeing my face, offered to take me to his office, but I couldn't just abandon the kids....so I gave up. There would be no surfing, no shopping, no e-mailing, no facebooking....I would be forced to live in the real world.
It was actually a wonderful weekend. Little One and BFF played together like they had never been apart, and I found myself promising to set up an e-mail account for Little One when we got home so they could keep in touch...because after all, what is good for the goose is good for the gander...if I could keep up with my friends that way, so could she.
We packed up and headed home on Sunday, and as soon as we got home, I immediately 'booted up"...and nothing. Thankfully, The Husband worked his magic, and I was on!! 51 emails! 7 facebook notifications! 10 shopping alerts! Oh the joy!....But the first thing I did was create a kid's account for Little One, who immediately launched an e-mail to the weekend BFF. And she was immediately met with a sweet response, declaring in big pink letters, that the weekend had been "Great!!". I was so happy for both of them, because now, due to that monster of technology, they will be able to chat in the evening about school and Selena, and even plan another weekend.
Big Sister e-mailed me that she was "cutting the facebook cord". 650 friends had become too many to keep up with...too much drama. She had tried merely deleting some names...but there had been upheaval and more drama. So she got out all together....how long can it last???How will she communicate with her friends during the day? How will she make fun of my blog? How will she joke with The Niece...and the list goes on and on.....I think we will see her back soon....under a new, perhaps "secret" name....
So until tomorrow, when I promise to refrain from technology-bashing for at least a month...but The Boy should take no solace from this...for there will still be no cell phones until there is a name on the honor roll...
Friday, August 28, 2009
If You're A Bird, I'm a Bird" The Notebook
I usually take great care in coming up with the blog title. I've noticed over the months that certain titles seem to draw more readers. I don't always choose based on this fact, but sometimes I do. I love to find a quote that ties in with what I'm writing about. That's what I did on Monday when I wrote about the "tiff". I remembered the quote from Love Story and thought it was the perfect lead-in. That is until yesterday when the Brother-in-Law informed me that the quote was an out-of-date reference. He said he doubted that any of my readers had heard of it, much less seen the movie. Now I agree with him about seeing the movie, but I guess I thought this was one of those iconic quotes that held up over time, kind of like "Play it once, Sam" and "Here's looking at you kid" from Casablanca, or "You had me at hello" from Jerry Maguire. Anyway, I'm making a note to update my references...and so today's blog title has nothing to do with the blog. It was suggested that I need to be quoting movies like The Notebook, so even though I'm not sure this quote will stand the test of time, I gave it a shot. The rest of the blog will have to be quick, because normally I would only spend 2 out of 23 minutes on the title...
I'm glad we are at the end of the week. The Boy is off to a great start at school. Being in 7th grade, he received a laptop this week. As you can probably guess, I have mixed feelings on this. In some ways, it is an unbelievable educational tool...in other ways, it just perpetuates the technology crutch that all of us are falling prey to. Will kids ever be asked to actually write a story or paper again? Isn't it kind of sad that they will never know the frustration of having to start over on a page because they messed up...and don't have a backspace or delete button to correct it? Can you imagine that he will actually be doing art projects on the laptop? When I think of art class, I think of pencil sketches and oil paints....not cropping pictures on the laptop. Oh well, I guess I just need to "roll with the times" as The Boy would say....
His computer is equipped with a webcam, which allows him to "video-chat" with friends. He is enjoying this little extra...for reasons that I will not divulge in order to preserve his privacy. I actually like this too...because it encourages TALKING instead of typing...a healthier way, I think, to conduct any relationship. I always have this premonition of our children texting with their spouses and children instead of talking in the future. Every day when I pick up The Boy, I am amazed at the number of kids who are standing around together texting on their phones instead of talking to each other! Of course, The Boy has still not entered the world of cell phones yet, much to his dismay. He came home the other day insisting that he was one of only 4 people in his grade who doesn't have a phone....and his description of the other 3 kids was so funny that I had to excuse myself and go to another room to laugh. (It wasn't mean-spirited...just funny). I'm hoping that the laptop will help to allay some of his phone obsession..we'll see.
So until next week, as I pack to head to grandma's house for the weekend....Little One is having an old friend over, and she is so excited that it has us all in a good mood...remembering that the anticipation is half the fun....
I'm glad we are at the end of the week. The Boy is off to a great start at school. Being in 7th grade, he received a laptop this week. As you can probably guess, I have mixed feelings on this. In some ways, it is an unbelievable educational tool...in other ways, it just perpetuates the technology crutch that all of us are falling prey to. Will kids ever be asked to actually write a story or paper again? Isn't it kind of sad that they will never know the frustration of having to start over on a page because they messed up...and don't have a backspace or delete button to correct it? Can you imagine that he will actually be doing art projects on the laptop? When I think of art class, I think of pencil sketches and oil paints....not cropping pictures on the laptop. Oh well, I guess I just need to "roll with the times" as The Boy would say....
His computer is equipped with a webcam, which allows him to "video-chat" with friends. He is enjoying this little extra...for reasons that I will not divulge in order to preserve his privacy. I actually like this too...because it encourages TALKING instead of typing...a healthier way, I think, to conduct any relationship. I always have this premonition of our children texting with their spouses and children instead of talking in the future. Every day when I pick up The Boy, I am amazed at the number of kids who are standing around together texting on their phones instead of talking to each other! Of course, The Boy has still not entered the world of cell phones yet, much to his dismay. He came home the other day insisting that he was one of only 4 people in his grade who doesn't have a phone....and his description of the other 3 kids was so funny that I had to excuse myself and go to another room to laugh. (It wasn't mean-spirited...just funny). I'm hoping that the laptop will help to allay some of his phone obsession..we'll see.
So until next week, as I pack to head to grandma's house for the weekend....Little One is having an old friend over, and she is so excited that it has us all in a good mood...remembering that the anticipation is half the fun....
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Reader Response and Testosterone Poisoning
I started this blog back in February. At the end of the month, I had 700 visitors. This didn't include the people on auto-send, who have it sent to their e-mail each morning...or the people (about 20) that read it on my facebook page. The next month, the total went to 1500. I felt pretty good about that, like it was a pretty good following. However the next month, the number stayed the same...1500...and the next month. I felt a little deflated, like I had peaked too quickly. So I e-mailed the site and found out that the counter was broken. Feeling secretly relieved, I decided to install this little thing called Sitemeter. This allows me to not only see how many people visit each day.but how long they read and where they live. Now don't panic...I don't see any names, and most of the time, no companies...all though I do recognize some friends by the city or country. The most interesting information I can gather from this is which days and subjects are the most popular. (I'm taking a long and rather ego-stroking path to my subject today.) Up until now, by far the most popular subject was Flirty Mango. The day I recommended this product, the number of readers doubled and reader response was huge. (I find it interesting that people e-mail me rather than leave a public comment on the blog,a story for another time)...but that has all changed....
After Tuesday's blog, when I discussed the "tiff' with The Husband...I had the most responses I had ever had. For the next 24 hours, I was inundated with e-mails from both men and women either sharing their own stories of marital discord...or empathizing with mine. The icing on the cake was the short but sweet comment that came from a reader this morning...I won't reveal his identity, but I will say that he was from another country. He said "I only want to know if you had any trash bags...you never divulged this information." This made my day, and it was only 6:30 am.
So today, I am going to share my favorite responses with you, because who knew so many people are also baffled by the age-old question of why a man can't devote 30 seconds to a conversation...
1) The first response came from one of my best friends, who I think had replied before I finished writing...she allowed that not only did her husband do the same thing to her...but so did her kids...she added that she was glad The Husband had "seen the error of his ways"....Now wait...I never said that...I just said he apologized...In our family, that is a whole different thing.
2)Another friend mused about how she felt like most of my readers missed out because they don't actually know The Husband. She said she thinks that people think I am kidding, or taking some sort of "poetic license"...and little do they know that he does actually do things like move the creek...(and yes, we were visited by the EPA)
3) Brother-in-Law only wanted to know more about the creek...where did it finally end up?, what happened to the bobcat?, etc.....typical man, he missed the whole point...
4) Sister-in-Law's comment quickly followed.."I Feel Your Pain...His Brother Does the Same Thing to Me"........I suddenly had a visual in my mind of the brother-in-law nodding his head while glancing over sister-in-law's shoulder to watch the Mets game or a horse race....
5) A male friend attributed The Husband's behavior to "testosterone poisoning". Having never heard of this, I looked it up on line and found an actual definition on a site called Urban Dictionary. The first definition was "When a man dies as a result of doing something stupid, or "stupid guy activity". The second definition cannot be repeated here because this is a family blog.
6) The above friend's wife allowed that he had a tendency to turn on loud appliances in the middle of a conversation...isn't it interesting how men generally ignore messes until they are in the middle of a conversation with their wife, and then they are suddenly in a rush to vacuum or find a trash bag??
7) Son-in-Law was also more interested in the whole creek-moving incident, as he was not in the family yet when that occurred...but he said that Big Sister is just as guilty in this area, often-times interrupting one of his 'rants' (his word, not mine) to ask where the computer-charger might be. This just proves that the younger generation of women have it figured out. They don't spend anytime worrying about interruptions because they are busy doing the same thing...
8) The Senior does not read the blog, but if she did, she would say "Mom, why didn't you just tell him what he could do with those trash bags?"....
And finally,The Husband responded by saying..."I don't remember apologizing"...which started the tiff back up again...
So until tomorrow, when we will continue to discuss the dynamics between men and women...but first I have to take a load of stuff downstairs from my dining room table....
After Tuesday's blog, when I discussed the "tiff' with The Husband...I had the most responses I had ever had. For the next 24 hours, I was inundated with e-mails from both men and women either sharing their own stories of marital discord...or empathizing with mine. The icing on the cake was the short but sweet comment that came from a reader this morning...I won't reveal his identity, but I will say that he was from another country. He said "I only want to know if you had any trash bags...you never divulged this information." This made my day, and it was only 6:30 am.
So today, I am going to share my favorite responses with you, because who knew so many people are also baffled by the age-old question of why a man can't devote 30 seconds to a conversation...
1) The first response came from one of my best friends, who I think had replied before I finished writing...she allowed that not only did her husband do the same thing to her...but so did her kids...she added that she was glad The Husband had "seen the error of his ways"....Now wait...I never said that...I just said he apologized...In our family, that is a whole different thing.
2)Another friend mused about how she felt like most of my readers missed out because they don't actually know The Husband. She said she thinks that people think I am kidding, or taking some sort of "poetic license"...and little do they know that he does actually do things like move the creek...(and yes, we were visited by the EPA)
3) Brother-in-Law only wanted to know more about the creek...where did it finally end up?, what happened to the bobcat?, etc.....typical man, he missed the whole point...
4) Sister-in-Law's comment quickly followed.."I Feel Your Pain...His Brother Does the Same Thing to Me"........I suddenly had a visual in my mind of the brother-in-law nodding his head while glancing over sister-in-law's shoulder to watch the Mets game or a horse race....
5) A male friend attributed The Husband's behavior to "testosterone poisoning". Having never heard of this, I looked it up on line and found an actual definition on a site called Urban Dictionary. The first definition was "When a man dies as a result of doing something stupid, or "stupid guy activity". The second definition cannot be repeated here because this is a family blog.
6) The above friend's wife allowed that he had a tendency to turn on loud appliances in the middle of a conversation...isn't it interesting how men generally ignore messes until they are in the middle of a conversation with their wife, and then they are suddenly in a rush to vacuum or find a trash bag??
7) Son-in-Law was also more interested in the whole creek-moving incident, as he was not in the family yet when that occurred...but he said that Big Sister is just as guilty in this area, often-times interrupting one of his 'rants' (his word, not mine) to ask where the computer-charger might be. This just proves that the younger generation of women have it figured out. They don't spend anytime worrying about interruptions because they are busy doing the same thing...
8) The Senior does not read the blog, but if she did, she would say "Mom, why didn't you just tell him what he could do with those trash bags?"....
And finally,The Husband responded by saying..."I don't remember apologizing"...which started the tiff back up again...
So until tomorrow, when we will continue to discuss the dynamics between men and women...but first I have to take a load of stuff downstairs from my dining room table....
"I've learned the good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there,memories good and bad will bring tears..."
I was sitting around missing my mom this morning when I heard the news that Ted Kennedy died of brain cancer. Though I was never a supporter or admirer of Kennedy, my heart went out to his family because brain cancer is devastating. My mom's cancer moved to her brain at one point during the last year of her life, and it was a difficult road.
It got me thinking about the moments in your life that you can remember clearly, even as the years go by. My first vivid memory is of the day JFK died. I was only a toddler, but I can picture the scene in my mind. When I first told my mom that I remembered that morning, she assured me that I couldn't have...until I described to her exactly what she was doing...and she agreed that it was indeed correct. I remember sitting in our den, "helping" her mop the floor. The TV was on..black and white....and mom was crying. I think this is one reason that it stuck out in mind. Mom was never a crier. In fact, this is the only time I can ever remember seeing her cry until my dad died.
The next clear memory I have is practicing for swim team. Every summer morning of my young life was spent at the pool from 7 to 10. I remember cold water, coaches shouting instructions...and lying on the warm pavement during breaks to get warm. I also remember hitting the snack bar with my friends after practice...starving after 3 hours of "torture".
One of my happiest memories is of times spent at my grandmother's house. In our southern family, she was called "Mammaw". I wasn't especially close to Mammaw...she had 8 children and loads of grandchildren, so there wasn't really time for a lot of one-on-one bonding, but we enjoyed a simpatico relationship. She was quiet and hard-working. She married as a teenager, had several children, and then lost her first husband. I don't remember exactly what her jobs were, but I know she worked for the government, ran a shop...and mothered 8 kids. She was also a fantastic cook...not in the "I watch Food Network and try those recipes from time to time" way....but in a "I cook 3 meals a day for 11 people" sort of way. I can still taste her 7 layer cake, her coconut pie, her marinated carrots, and her fried chicken and biscuits. I loved to help her in the kitchen...we didn't talk...I just watched her and did what she asked. My grandfather (Pappaw) was a bee-keeper, so we always had fresh honey to go with everything. (That is another vivid memory...watching Pappaw dress up like a space man and go out to "tend the bees.)
After "supper" at Mammaw's, my brothers and cousins and I would head outside to catch fireflies in jars. Her house was at the base of the Smoky Mountains...and a little river ran behind it. Even at a young age, the beauty of this area was not lost on me. I can remember staring at the mountains and thinking how pretty they were. My older brother would take a canoe across the river to the "caves" and explore. I was never allowed to do this, but I didn't want to, as I had heard stories of bats in the caves (probably made up by my brother). My little brother and I were allowed to walk into town with 50 cents and buy an ice cream at the Tasty Freeze. This was a nightly routine...usually after several hours of night-tag or whiffle ball.
Those were very innocent days. It was truly another time. No computers, internet or facebook. When you finished eating, you headed outside to play. The games weren't bought...just made-up. I hate to be one of those people who say "good old days", but they truly were good days...and I guess they were old days.
With my mom and dad gone now, I am sadly reminded on many occasions that it is up to me to provide my kids with "memories"....and I don't mean posed memories...but genuine memories where you look back and smile...and actually feel, smell, touch and taste the past. I hope that I am able to give them a bit of that...because on days like today, when you are missing your mom....memories are really important...
So until tomorrow, when I will remember the "good old days", but also try and remember that these will be the "good old days" to my kids...
It got me thinking about the moments in your life that you can remember clearly, even as the years go by. My first vivid memory is of the day JFK died. I was only a toddler, but I can picture the scene in my mind. When I first told my mom that I remembered that morning, she assured me that I couldn't have...until I described to her exactly what she was doing...and she agreed that it was indeed correct. I remember sitting in our den, "helping" her mop the floor. The TV was on..black and white....and mom was crying. I think this is one reason that it stuck out in mind. Mom was never a crier. In fact, this is the only time I can ever remember seeing her cry until my dad died.
The next clear memory I have is practicing for swim team. Every summer morning of my young life was spent at the pool from 7 to 10. I remember cold water, coaches shouting instructions...and lying on the warm pavement during breaks to get warm. I also remember hitting the snack bar with my friends after practice...starving after 3 hours of "torture".
One of my happiest memories is of times spent at my grandmother's house. In our southern family, she was called "Mammaw". I wasn't especially close to Mammaw...she had 8 children and loads of grandchildren, so there wasn't really time for a lot of one-on-one bonding, but we enjoyed a simpatico relationship. She was quiet and hard-working. She married as a teenager, had several children, and then lost her first husband. I don't remember exactly what her jobs were, but I know she worked for the government, ran a shop...and mothered 8 kids. She was also a fantastic cook...not in the "I watch Food Network and try those recipes from time to time" way....but in a "I cook 3 meals a day for 11 people" sort of way. I can still taste her 7 layer cake, her coconut pie, her marinated carrots, and her fried chicken and biscuits. I loved to help her in the kitchen...we didn't talk...I just watched her and did what she asked. My grandfather (Pappaw) was a bee-keeper, so we always had fresh honey to go with everything. (That is another vivid memory...watching Pappaw dress up like a space man and go out to "tend the bees.)
After "supper" at Mammaw's, my brothers and cousins and I would head outside to catch fireflies in jars. Her house was at the base of the Smoky Mountains...and a little river ran behind it. Even at a young age, the beauty of this area was not lost on me. I can remember staring at the mountains and thinking how pretty they were. My older brother would take a canoe across the river to the "caves" and explore. I was never allowed to do this, but I didn't want to, as I had heard stories of bats in the caves (probably made up by my brother). My little brother and I were allowed to walk into town with 50 cents and buy an ice cream at the Tasty Freeze. This was a nightly routine...usually after several hours of night-tag or whiffle ball.
Those were very innocent days. It was truly another time. No computers, internet or facebook. When you finished eating, you headed outside to play. The games weren't bought...just made-up. I hate to be one of those people who say "good old days", but they truly were good days...and I guess they were old days.
With my mom and dad gone now, I am sadly reminded on many occasions that it is up to me to provide my kids with "memories"....and I don't mean posed memories...but genuine memories where you look back and smile...and actually feel, smell, touch and taste the past. I hope that I am able to give them a bit of that...because on days like today, when you are missing your mom....memories are really important...
So until tomorrow, when I will remember the "good old days", but also try and remember that these will be the "good old days" to my kids...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Out of Order
Since today's blog is an edited version of a pre-written blog from the weekend, please scroll down to Saturday, August 22 to read!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Weekend Update
It was a long weekend, but that's a good thing, right? The Boy had a big "spend the night" to go to Friday night, so Little One and I dropped him off that afternoon. I strongly suggested that he be sure and get some sleep, because he had 2 baseball games to play Saturday evening. He left me with a hug and kiss and a mild assurance that he would do it. As he ran into the house greeting his friends, I had my doubts, but I crossed my fingers.
Little One was disappointed because the BFF had prior commitments...as did the 2 other friends she invited to spend the night. She was stuck with mom and dad for the night. So the three of us headed to one of our favorite little dinner places and had a nice meal...granted it was quiet meal, because The Boy is usually the talkative one at our table, but it was nice. And when we got home, I reminded Little One that she could play Webkinz on the computer to her little heart's content because The Boy wasn't here to fight her for the computer. So after hours of Disney Channel and Webkinz, she went to bed happy, even commenting on how it had been a 'cozy' evening.
I headed over to pick The Boy up the next morning, and one glance was worth a thousand words...he had had a "TERRIFIC" time, but had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep. The whole way home, he regaled me with stories from the previous night. Sleep had been impossible due to many reasons...but he assured me he wasn't tired. However, after a second breakfast at home, he headed upstairs, turned on his fan, and slept for 3 hours. I do believe this was the first time since he was 2 years old that he actually "took a nap".
That afternoon we headed to yet another baseball game. The Boy was a bit lethargic, but managed to play pretty well, even getting one of the game winning hits. As we drove home near midnight, his emotional comments gave him away, because at some point, lack of sleep catches up with all of us...even a 12 year old boy.
The next morning I headed to church by myself. I rarely do this, but do you ever have those mornings when you just don't feel like urging everyone else along? The Boy was attending the Braves game...a previous commitment that he was looking forward to...and he was being picked up before church was over. Little One was suspiciously not up yet, which means she was laying in bed hoping I would decide to stay home. The Husband was awake, but pretending not to be, and when I offered to go alone, he quickly agreed and turned back over to sleep. So I went alone and enjoyed the peace of listening to the sermon without having to constantly quiet the kids, keep showing them my watch...and tell The Husband to put the blackberry away...
The afternoon started out well. The Boy was at the game, The Husband had headed to another game, and Little One was out playing with BFF in the neighborhood. I was left on my own to switch back and forth between the Braves game and Food Network, where I learned how to cook Chicken a L'Orange for under $10. Unfortunately, halfway through the show, I got the dreaded call...This call is entitled: The Sisters Are Having A Fight and Mom is About To Be Put in the Middle". The jist of this fight is that Big Sister had lent (lent is a very loose term here) the Hannah Montanna movie that she had rented from Blockbuster to The Senior. The Senior had sworn on her life that she would return it in time...and big surprise...she had not done it. Now, the problem here was that Big Sis and SIL could not rent a movie until that one was returned. This had lead to the Big Sis calling and texting The Senior 543,000 times...and the Senior had done what she normally does under these circumstances...turned off her phone...SO, Mom was forced to intervene....calming down the Big Sis....lecturing The Senior on responsibility(who always responds to this by saying "I make straight A's and raise a child for Heaven's sake")...and I remind them both that I wish I had a sister to argue with...The funniest part of this is when The Little One asks me when I hang up "Ok, so whose fault is it REALLY?"...The Little One is all about the blame game...
So that's about it...all in all a good weekend. I had actually pre-written this morning's blog after a small tiff with The Husband Saturday morning. But you know, it was the kind of thing that seemed funny and appropriate at the time, but kind of petty this morning...
So until tomorrow, when the week begins on a busy, but optimistic note....
Little One was disappointed because the BFF had prior commitments...as did the 2 other friends she invited to spend the night. She was stuck with mom and dad for the night. So the three of us headed to one of our favorite little dinner places and had a nice meal...granted it was quiet meal, because The Boy is usually the talkative one at our table, but it was nice. And when we got home, I reminded Little One that she could play Webkinz on the computer to her little heart's content because The Boy wasn't here to fight her for the computer. So after hours of Disney Channel and Webkinz, she went to bed happy, even commenting on how it had been a 'cozy' evening.
I headed over to pick The Boy up the next morning, and one glance was worth a thousand words...he had had a "TERRIFIC" time, but had only gotten about 4 hours of sleep. The whole way home, he regaled me with stories from the previous night. Sleep had been impossible due to many reasons...but he assured me he wasn't tired. However, after a second breakfast at home, he headed upstairs, turned on his fan, and slept for 3 hours. I do believe this was the first time since he was 2 years old that he actually "took a nap".
That afternoon we headed to yet another baseball game. The Boy was a bit lethargic, but managed to play pretty well, even getting one of the game winning hits. As we drove home near midnight, his emotional comments gave him away, because at some point, lack of sleep catches up with all of us...even a 12 year old boy.
The next morning I headed to church by myself. I rarely do this, but do you ever have those mornings when you just don't feel like urging everyone else along? The Boy was attending the Braves game...a previous commitment that he was looking forward to...and he was being picked up before church was over. Little One was suspiciously not up yet, which means she was laying in bed hoping I would decide to stay home. The Husband was awake, but pretending not to be, and when I offered to go alone, he quickly agreed and turned back over to sleep. So I went alone and enjoyed the peace of listening to the sermon without having to constantly quiet the kids, keep showing them my watch...and tell The Husband to put the blackberry away...
The afternoon started out well. The Boy was at the game, The Husband had headed to another game, and Little One was out playing with BFF in the neighborhood. I was left on my own to switch back and forth between the Braves game and Food Network, where I learned how to cook Chicken a L'Orange for under $10. Unfortunately, halfway through the show, I got the dreaded call...This call is entitled: The Sisters Are Having A Fight and Mom is About To Be Put in the Middle". The jist of this fight is that Big Sister had lent (lent is a very loose term here) the Hannah Montanna movie that she had rented from Blockbuster to The Senior. The Senior had sworn on her life that she would return it in time...and big surprise...she had not done it. Now, the problem here was that Big Sis and SIL could not rent a movie until that one was returned. This had lead to the Big Sis calling and texting The Senior 543,000 times...and the Senior had done what she normally does under these circumstances...turned off her phone...SO, Mom was forced to intervene....calming down the Big Sis....lecturing The Senior on responsibility(who always responds to this by saying "I make straight A's and raise a child for Heaven's sake")...and I remind them both that I wish I had a sister to argue with...The funniest part of this is when The Little One asks me when I hang up "Ok, so whose fault is it REALLY?"...The Little One is all about the blame game...
So that's about it...all in all a good weekend. I had actually pre-written this morning's blog after a small tiff with The Husband Saturday morning. But you know, it was the kind of thing that seemed funny and appropriate at the time, but kind of petty this morning...
So until tomorrow, when the week begins on a busy, but optimistic note....
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