C'est La Vie

On the Stages of Life....

2011-07-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in so long. I think I've almost forgotten how to go about "blogging", but the past week has inspired me to give it a try.

Before I go any further,some of the faux-names in the blog have to be updated. The Husband remains The Husband. The Boy remains the Boy. Big Sis remains Big Sis. But I'm going to re-name the Rebel and Little One. I think they have graduated from their former aliases, so this is as good a time as any to re-name. The Rebel will now be called "New Mom"...pretty self-explanatory. Little One, who just turned 12, will now be known as the Pre-teen. Again, just changing with the times...

A few days ago, New Mom gave birth to my third grandchild. She was scheduled to be induced early in the morning, so the Pre-Teen and I journeyed to the hospital to wait it out. It was an exciting day, with a steady stream of family and friends stopping in to say hello and well-wish. Big Sis was waiting it out at home since she didn't want to subject little Buddha Boy (grandchild 2) to the germy hospital waiting room. New Mom's dad came about mid-day and brought Little Guy (grandchild 1) to wait on the arrival of his baby sister. Turns out he was more excited about playing paper football and constructing a sticker city than the birth of his sister...but when you are 5, you must have your priorities.

Anyway, over the course of 12 hours,I alternated between running back to sit and chat with New Mom when she felt like it, playing with Little Guy, taking the Preteen to the cafeteria for multiple snacks...and just watching as family after family came through, all there to celebrate the addition of a new baby to their family. I felt a bit like I was in the 'Friends' episode where Rachel is in labor, but mother after mother keeps being delivered before her. It was sort of a surreal day, filled with nervous anticipation. We knew that our new addition was to be a girl... a welcome addition after 2 boys. And most who came were focused on this. But for the mother of the New Mom, the day was more about worrying about New Mom. This is what happens I think when you are blessed with grandchildren while you still have young children. You are not able to let go of "mommyness" in exchange for 'grandmomminess". Good or bad, we are all kind of bound to where we are in the cycle of life. I am still in the throes of everyday mommydom. My day is structured around the physical needs of my 2 children at home (3 if you count The Husband) and the emotional needs of my 2 older girls. I am still several years away from what I would call the "check-off point"...or the moment when you realize that your children are self-sufficient, self-sustaining...and not in need of your worry every minute of the day.

This strange mid-stage of life is often a difficult one. While other mothers are lunching and shopping with older children and taking grand kids for overnights...I am still dropping off at school, helping with homework and hosting sleepovers. I feel the constant push and pull of trying to balance out being a mom with all that that entails...yet also being a "Noni", with all that that needs to entail.

The happiest moment of the day for me was not what you would expect. Seeing the newest addition for the first time...our Little Peanut...who is absolutely without a doubt, with apologies to every baby who has come before in my life...THE most beautiful baby I've ever seen...this was a joy and blessing. But to be honest, the most precious moment of the day was seeing New Mom....happy and healthy....

Because you see, no matter how I try, I cannot cross that thresh-hold yet. I saw New Mom's mother-in-law head straight for the Little Peanut, and I smiled because I knew she is there....she has left mommydom and entered grandmommydom.....I still have a ways to go....

So this week, when I journey to see the New Mom and the perfect Peanut, I will try not to wrestle with the fact that I am stuck between 2 stages of life. I will just try and embrace the blessing of being a part of both. In the words of the very wise Big Sis, "It's a compliment to be needed by so many people..."

Until tomorrow....

Trials and Tribulations of the School Drop-Off line...

2011-03-09T06:40:00.000-08:00

I've been brought out of semi-blog retirement today to discuss some pressing issues. It was brought to my attention this morning that the school pick-up line can be a frustrating, yet interesting, place each morning. I'm fairly sure a person's personality can be defined by their actions in this line. Now, to be fair, it must be stated that the person who brought this up to me was a male. And before I go any further, I need to "out" myself on some pick up line issues:

1) Each morning, I drop off my kids in the wrong line. We are suppose to go to another area, but due to my laziness, and my kid's insistence, I shoulder this guilt (and the occasional obscenity from friends when the line is backed up).

2) At least 40% of the drivers in drop-off line are men. Now this amazes me, because in our household, this has only happened on a few occasions. There was the time that I was in the hospital...and oh yes...the death in the family. To be fair,it makes sense in our family for me to do it. But even if it didn't, I'm fairly sure The Husband would not last a week. For one thing, the kids become extremely depressed when they hear that dad is going to do drop-off. The complaints range from "He'll make us late!" to "He doesn't know where to go". These are both valid points. The Husband is only familiar with the ballfield and the gymnasium. He sees no problem with dropping the kids wherever it is most convenient for him. If the line is too long, they may get dropped off at the Waffle House down the street and told to walk. If questioned on this, The Husband will mumble something about "building character" and "over-protective mom"...

Now that I have established my own drop-off shortcomings, I feel free to be critical of others.

First, we have the new people who have never done it before. They pull into the school and stop...and then proceed at 2 mph before finally rolling down their window and asking for help. On a 1 to 10 of irritation, they get a 5.

Next we have the mom's that insist on getting out of their car to help their kids out. I'm not talking about kids that have too much to unload, or kids that have broken legs...these are the mothers that just feel the need to stop the line while they give their kids final instructions for the day, sign any papers that need signing, or perhaps chat with the teachers on the curb. As they come around to get back in their car, they do the thing which seems to irritate the waiting line the most: The semi-crouch/wave/slight smile apology. Translated, this means, I realize that I have just been rude and caused you to wait...but by crouching and waving, it makes it all better. In the next 5 cars, the driver politely nods while cursing under his/her breath...

However petty it sounds, it must also be pointed out that the above moms generally wear a baseball cap. There must be some correlation to the action and the cap, but more research must be done in order to link these two.

Last but not least, there is the line-cutter. Having been raised by, and now married to this type...I am very familiar with this one. This is the driver who pretends not to see the line, and just heads to the most convenient spot to drop-off. These people feel no guilt...and they certainly don't feel the need to wave or smile....because their time is just more important than your time....

So that about wraps it up for drop-off line. I suppose it would be a bit more bearable if this was an opportunity for more quality conversation time with the kids while waiting...but unfortunately, it only extends the amount of time that I have to listen to some rap song talking about "my shawty" or "bottoms up"....

So until tomorrow...or next month...or the next time an irritation must be discussed...

The Flu and Exams....

2010-12-16T06:57:00.000-08:00

It's exam week. In fact, it's been exam week for several weeks. First, The Boy brought home the "schedule". This is the supposed "schedule" that he constructs weeks before the exams start. This is the schedule he imagines in his mind that he will stick to in order to prepare for his exams. This is the schedule he commits to in front of his teachers and then brings home for me to sign...You know how months before Christmas, you imagine that you will be organized, buy all of your gifts early, send out lovely Christmas cards in advance, prepare a delicious menu weeks in advance?......Well, The Boy's schedule is very similar to this plan. It is made up of the best intentions....but perhaps a bit on the "wishful thinking" side...

Last weekend, he did an admirable job in fulfilling his "schedule". Amidst basketball games, family gatherings, etc., he managed to study for each and every exam. He even extracted my help for the french exam, impressing me with his sudden grasp of verb conjugation. I began to feel hopeful about exam week.....and then Sunday night, he had a little bit of a cough.

I should have seen it coming. Mother guilt allows me to blame myself for almost everything, and in this case, I was more than willing to shoulder the blame. The Boy's daily schedule is to come home from basketball practice,do homework, eat dinner...and head back out to play more basketball with his friends. This may or may not include a jacket, even in the coldest of weather. It also may include a wet head if he decided to shower early.

When I heard that small cough Sunday night, I pounced on him with vitamin c, tylenol, and even....some leftover amoxicillin that he had from his last sore throat. "Mom, I'm fine" he declared. But I was in full-on preventative mode. Monday morning, he felt kind of puny, but he headed to school for review day. I worried all day, only to be rewarded by him climbing in the car after school declaring "I don't feel so good." Now it seems that more that 20 people in his class were also experiencing the same symptoms (had they also been out playing ball without jackets?), but exams began Tuesday, like it or not.

Tuesday morning he sounded terrible, but he had no fever and he could walk and talk....and the English exam loomed. "I may have to call you after the exam" he declared. I took one look at him and stayed by my phone all morning. Sure enough, at 10:40, the call came. "Please come get me". He came home and got under a blanket. I took his temperature. 100. Ok, more tylenol. He took out some math papers to review, but quickly gave up. By evening time, the fever had crept up to 102. At 8:30, for what The Husband and I deemed to be the first time ever in his life....he headed up to bed of his own volition. "Not feelin so good"....

Well, this set off my mother bear instincts. I followed him up asking if I could do anything for him, only to be told that "I just need to sleep." At 11:00, I tip-toed into his room and took his temperature.....103. My heart lurched. Anything over 102, and I feel myself panic. I ran down and called the Dr., who basically told me to chill out and give him more tylenol. No panicking until 105. Don't you hate when the Dr. says stupid stuff like that?

I grabbed a pillow and headed for the couch. The Husband asked where I was going? Well....there are 18 stairs leading to our upstairs. So, in one of my motherly imaginings, The Boy wakes up delirious from fever and stumbles down the stairs. If I am on the couch, I can hear him and help him. Upon hearing this, The Husband shakes his head. He knows better than to try and reason with me at this point.

At 4:30, I sneak in and feel his forehead. Still warm, but better. "Do I need to go to school?" he asks. "Sleep" I tell him.

So today, he'll miss 2 exams. And tomorrow, probably another one. The school secretary assures me it will be ok. They may offer make-ups on Saturday. Or Monday. or after vacation.

Deep breath. It will all work out. I remember the quote about Life being what happens while you are making plans....so until tomorrow...or the next day...

In The Blink of an Eye...

2010-08-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

The first day of school is always sort of an emotional day of reflection for me. Today was no different. As I dropped off my two middle-schoolers (though I will never be convinced that a 5th grader is a middle-schooler), I spent the drive back home reminiscing about 10 years worth of drop offs...

It was a mere 10 years ago that Big Sis had graduated from high school and was getting ready to start college. About this time, I had helped her move into her first apartment and prepare for her first day of classes...Ten years later, she is happily married, working full-time, and due to give birth to a little boy any minute...

It was a mere 10 years ago that The Senior had just begun middle school. About this time, she and bff Liz would board the school bus at 6:15 for the daily ride to school...Ten years later, she has graduated from college, works full-time, and is getting ready to get married this weekend to Kevin, who she would not meet for a few more years...

It was a mere 10 years ago that The Boy was...3 precious years old and the apple of his mommy's eye. About this time, he would toddle downstairs and play with his trains...Ten years later, his last weekend before school began consisted of baseball practice, going to the lake with friends, and mowing the grass last night...

It was a mere 10 years ago that Little One was...1 year old. About this time, she had just celebrated her first birthday in France, and she learned that her first few years would be spent travelling around...Ten years later, she spent her last weekend before school practicing softball, spending the night with her bff, and deciding how to wear her hair...

It was mere 10 years ago that The Husband was working all over the world. About this time, he might be in California or Australia, planning a race...or checking out a vineyard....Ten years later, he makes his daily 45 minute commute to his office...

It was mere 10 years ago that I was making the adjustment from full-time working mom with 3 kids, to part-time consulting mom with 3 kids and a baby. About this time, I would be calling mom, dad and mother-in-law to fill them in on the first day of school, and how baby was doing....Today, mom, dad and mother-in-law are gone. There are no phone calls to be made...

So this morning, on this first day of school, I'm listening to James Taylor sing about how "the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time"...and agreeing with this philosophy. The only constant in life is change...and love. And as I get ready to welcome a new grandchild....and a new son-in-law, I am acutely aware that each day is a gift of some kind. I pray that the "little ones" will enjoy their first day of school. Who knows what the day will bring...the year will bring...the next 10 years will bring...

On The Lessons Learned at Summer Camp

2010-07-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

The Boy returned from summer camp yesterday. After 5 days of intense baseball at Clemson, we picked up he and his BFF up and headed home. They were full of stories about what was evidently a rewarding week.

I had missed the drop-off last Sunday. The Husband was of the opinion that it should be a father/son deal...however, he was "ok with me coming". Despite this warm invitation, I had to skip due to a last minute pool-party invitation for Little One's softball team. I waited anxiously for the call from The Boy to let me know how his dorm room was, and how he felt. The Boy is always a bit short on the phone, so when he finally called, I couldn't really decipher his tone. He was physically prepared for the week, having run and worked out and played ball for several weeks. But the whole dorm situation was new. He wasn't too worried, as he had the BFF along, and together, they usually feel pretty invincible.

The Husband left him with 3 instructions: 1)Challenge yourself 2)Work harder than anyone else, and 3) Have fun when appropriate. I agreed with all of these, but I had a few other roll-your-eyes instructions that we won't discuss. Being mom, I am always concerned with character and kindness...but I digress...

The Boy called the first night with a report. Tired, sore, missing home. However, these words came in between laughing and disruptions from all around. I didn't sleep much that night, because as usual, I had been given something to worry about, so I did. During his break the next day, he called to say he was fine. He had a few complaints,but all-in-all, it was good. I asked to speak with BFF, who is like son #2. "Hello second mom" he began. "I really, really need apple juice. And the bathrooms are gross." Ok, all was fine.

The Husband and I decided to take a discreet trip up the next night to watch his game. His team would be playing in the stadium, and the Husband couldn't pass up a chance to watch his son play ball on the field of his alma mater. We got there a few minutes before the game and hid, so that The Boy wouldn't know we were there. This was going fine until BFF walked by on the way to his game. Little One and I injured ourselves diving behind a pole, but we kept our cover. Minutes later, we saw him. My heart skipped a beat. I looked over at The Husband and we smiled. As he ran on to the field and over to first base, it was an exciting moment. One of those "let me remember this" moments....The game flew by. The Boy played well, and finally, we decided to come out of hiding. He was standing on second base when he spotted us. He waved and waved. Even Little One had to laugh...

The next day was his birthday. We decided to make the long drive back up to see him again. We had decided to take the plunge and get him a phone. We weren't going to leave it with him, but we wanted him to see it. The Husband found him on the practice field when we got there and held up the phone....he nodded and smiled, a little distracted by the fact that he would be pitching that night. But on a break, he ran over to say hello and take a look. "I AM SO HAPPY!" he yelled. Of course, I told myself it was because we were there...but in truth...it was the phone.

That night, he called to tell us the schedule for the last day. There would be a full morning of drills, followed by an awards ceremony. "I won't win the pitching or hitting award" he said. "The older guys are better." However, he felt he had a shot at the hustle award. His coach had complimented him on his hard work and he was hopeful. In the end, he didn't get an award, but he was ok with it, knowing that he had given it his best effort.

On the drive home, we were entertained with stories of all-you-can eat cafeterias, gross communal showers,'hot chicks' from volleyball camp, and new friendships. There were the requisite not-so-great moments. As The Boy said, some people just will not play nice in the sandbox. This is our term for guys who are just not so nice. I use to advise The Boy to "leave the sandbox" when this happens. But as he gets older, I kind of agree with The Husband that it is time to throw sand back at someone if they can't be nice...

Thankfully, the good moments much outweighed the bad. Between the experience and the knowledge learned, it was great week. And it was a good learning experience for me, too. After all, this 'letting go' thing has to start sometime. You have to sit back and hope (and pray) that the advice you have given is taken. You have to hope that you have encouraged independence. And you have to hope that you have a little luck...and things go well...

On The Lessons Learned from Family Vacation...

2010-07-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

We're settling back in after the family vacation. After a few aborted attempts to blog on the trip, I decided to wait awhile and gain some perspective. After all, sometimes the best conclusions can only be drawn after you've had time to look back, forget the bad, and concentrate on the good...

In retrospect, I think one of the lessons learned from a family vacation is that everyone is on their own agenda. Each of us has our own expectations of what we want to do or accomplish, and any problems arise when these expectations aren't met. I'm thinking that next time, a pre-vacation family meeting is in order. Everyone needs to lay out what they want to get out of the trip...This hopefully gives everyone an idea of what is to come...and eliminates those pesky "perfect fantasy" notions that some of us tend to hang our hat on before we leave...

On this past trip, we all knew that we were going to see a lot of baseball. This was fine with everyone. But let's review each family member's pre-vacation perspective:

Little One: Little One is fairly easy to please. She harbors a certain set of fears that many reading this blog know of, but cannot be stated for many reasons. As long as these set of fears are respected and avoided...she can pretty much hang with anything. Throw in an occasional stuffed animal and a couple nights of sleeping with mom, and she is good to go...

The Boy: The Boy is easy. It's all about the meals, the sleep, the psp, and the Braves game. The Boy is a planner. He likes to know each morning (which for him would start at 12:00 if he had his way) what and where his meals will be. If he knows this...and he can be assured of at least one barbecue burger, he's a happy camper. If he is allowed to bring his psp, he is even happier...and if you assure him that he gets to watch the Braves game...he has hit the Holy Grail....life is good.

Ok. Now The Husband. This is the tricky one. The Husband truly wants everyone to have a good time. Really. But he also needs for everyone to abide by his schedule. And you need to know up front that he is in a race. We have never quite figured out the specifics of this race, but suffice it to say that no matter where you are, YOU MUST HURRY. If you are in the airport, you must race to your gate, even if you are 2 hours early. If you are attending a game, you must race to and from your car. If you are unable to keep up with him, you are in deep trouble. This means everyone must memorize all of the specifics...where you are parked....where the hotel is....in case you get left behind. Also, if you are travelling with The Husband, you must be aware that there will be little "surprises" along the way. He may decide to alter the plan at any given moment...and you better be ready to make the adjustment. And one more thing....vacation does not mean that The Husband does not work. It is a given that he will be on the blackberry 3 hours a day. If it rings in the car, the noise level had better be lowered quickly. Once you arrive at your hotel, he WILL be on the computer for a minimum of 2 hours an evening. Do Not make the mistake of bringing this subject up, or you may get the "how do you think we can take this trip?" lecture...

Ok, that leaves me. Now, The Husband thinks I am going to act like a Saint and declare that all I want is for everyone to be happy and get along. But I have decided to come clean here. I DO want everyone to be happy. I do want everyone to get along. But I have a few more minor requests:

1) I need coffee within 45 minutes of my waking time. If I don't get this, I may be...grumpy.
2) I need some sort of breakfast-related item to eat before I can have lunch. The Husband and Boy skip breakfast and then eat Mexican for lunch. NO. I cannot do it. Please, an apple....a doughnut....something....
3) I hate to rush. I'm never late, and I can abide by a schedule, but it goes against my distracted nature to rush. I like to "saunter". The Husband may refer to this as "dilly-dallying",but who cares?
4)I do not like to pre-eat. This is the term I use to describe what The Husband and Boy do at a buffet. They eat enough so that they will not be hungry later on. Not so for me. I want to be hungry later on. I want to eat at the ball stadium. I want to stop 40 times and try different stuff...
5) I have to sleep. If I don't, I may be....grumpy. The Husband makes few allowances for things like sleep. This creates "issues".

In the end, it's all about negotiating different personalities, isn't it? Just because you are on vacation, it doesn't guarantee that every moment will be fun. Let's face it, when you put 4 personalities in a car and hotel room for 7 days, there are likely to be "issues". I think the way to deal with this is to let go of the idea of the "perfect" vacation. You have to remember that being in a different state or even country doesn't mean that we are different.

Patience...that is the key word. And negotiation. And thankfulness. Because not everyone gets to take a vacation, and so just the ability to take one should be a check in the "grateful' column...

All of this considered....it was a good trip....

Family Vacation.....

2010-06-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

As the saying goes,"Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." Or in my case, like my second home. A few days at Grandma's house after our week of vacation was just what I needed. It was an interesting week. The definition for the word vacation is "an extended period of time for pleasure, rest or relaxation." The rest and relaxation part did not apply to our trip. 7 days, 2 flights, 1500 miles of driving, 4 states, 8 baseball games, 2 memorials, 1 museum, 4 universities, 5 hotels...like I said, not much rest or relaxation, but there was pleasure along the way.
As with any vacation, there is always "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". Whenever you put 4 personalities in a car and hotel room together for 7 days and nights, there are bound to be "issues". But let's start with the "Good"....

Everything baseball-related was terrific. We saw 4 major league games, 1 minor league game and 3 College World Series games. Yes, it was a little over-the-top, but it was fun to get to see the different stadiums. The Husband took some great pictures, The Boy is still convinced he wants to be a major league player, and Little One and I now know who has the best concession stands and cotton candy...

We also visited 4 university campuses: U of Texas, U of Oklahoma, TCU and Texas A&M. The Boy liked TCU and Oklahoma. Even Little One could see herself at Oklahoma...a surprisingly pretty and homey-looking campus. The Husband had planned for us to spend 2 days in Austin, but as we drove into the city and past the university football stadium, he said "That is not the main campus...just a satellite campus." The Boy and I looked at each other and shook our heads. "Look at the stadium. Holds at least 50,000" I noted. "Yeah dad, UT is in Austin". Still, The Husband insisted we were wrong....Of course, the next day when we drove to the campus, it turned out we were right. The Husband had to ask at least 5 people, somehow thinking that we had contacted everyone in Austin, and they were trying to fool him......Finally, when we walked into a campus store, he asked the guy behind the counter "Is this the main campus for UT?"....I wish you could have seen the look on the guy's face, surrounded by all of the UT merchandise. The Boy and I left the area in order to burst out laughing...

Later that day, we attended a minor league ball game. It was so much fun, and The Husband actually caught a foul ball. This made him a minor celebrity...and he proceeded to give autographs. He kept waiting for the announcer to praise him for his catch...but alas, it was a minor league game, so there was no announcer....

There is a story about spending hours on a bridge in Austin to see a million bats fly out at dusk. I won't tell the story because The Husband feels I embellish sometimes. I would like to say that I feel this is a myth...we were there from dusk to night time...and I believe we saw 4 pigeons....

The Husband had scheduled several trips to "Drive-Ins, Diners and Dives", but after driving a couple hours out of the way only to find one closed...and being totally disappointed by another...we sort of abandoned that little side-story. We had some really great meals, but The Boy continued his record of the most number of consecutive meals which include a barbecue burger and fries....

Next it was on to Dallas for the JFK museum by the "Grassy Knoll". This was very interesting, although The Boy felt that he already "knew it all from school"...and The Husband had deja-vu and realised he had taken the tour before with an ex-girlfriend. Of course he had no idea who, when or where...but that is normal with The Husband. There were many previous who's, when's and where's.....

Finally, we arrived at our main destination: the College World Series. Clemson, The Huband's alma mater, had made it to the final week...a really nice turn of events since you can't plan on things like that. Unfortunately, the temperature was hovering around 95. But we sat through 3 sweltering games and saw some great baseball. Unfortunately, Clemson lost...but still, it was a great experience.

Let me tip-toe around something for a moment: here is the problem at events such as these. The Husband is always in a hurry. He is also impatient. This does not bode well for any older people, handicapped people...or generally anyone who gets in his way. The Boy and I are just the opposite. We stroll. We get distracted. We apologize for everything. If you mix these two personalities together...you get trouble. Thank goodness for The Boy. He is forever the Mediator. He stays in the middle between me and The Husband and tries to slow him down...and speed me up. It's a thankless job...but he does it well.

Our last city was Kansas City. I love this city, and though we only had a short time there, we enjoyed it. But let me touch on another "issue". The Husband and Boy wanted to watch a ballgame on TV on a Saturday night. (Yes, you understand...after a week of 7 games, they had to watch another on TV). This delayed dinner until 9:00 on Saturday night in a city known for it's dining. Well, off we go at 9:00 to find a place. As previously discussed, The Husband does not like to wait. This means nowhere with a wait of more than....say 20 minutes. So here is what happens....The Husband drops me at the restaurant door (where there is already a line around the building) to ask how long the "wait" is....by the time I get back with the bad news...he has already driven a mile down the street due to traffic. This means that I literally have to sprint to catch the car. This little scenario plays out about 5 times. Finally, I fib and say that the wait is only 20 minutes so that I don't have to sprint anymore. Thankfully, we ended up at a great little Italian place and the wait wasn't too bad.....All's well that ends well...

And so we headed back home, going straight from the airport to another ballgame...The Boy wanted to see his beloved Braves. It was another hot afternoon, but So worth it to see The Boy have such a good time.

So that brings us to the end of the vacation blog. After a brief discussion with The Husband, I was forced to abandon and edit many stories. He feels that I often "create" or "tamper" with stories in the blog. I insist that this is not true. I feel that it is sometimes difficult to see the truth in print...but this is a subject for another day...

On a final note, I do want to say (under duress) that this vacation would not have been possible, except for the amazing sense of direction and driving skills of The Husband. You could drop this man anywhere, and he could find the nearest baseball stadium in 10 minutes. ( Of course, anybody in his way better darn well move out of the way, but anyhow....)

Thanks to The Boy for his sunny attitude...and to Little One for being such a trooper....

It's good to be home.

On Why I Just Can't Joke About it Yet...

2010-06-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

I know. I had promised to blog all week. A sort of daily vacation report. I keep getting messages asking for some details. But there are 2 good reasons that I haven't. The first is the practical one. This is WAY different than the beach trips where I have the whole morning to sit on the balcony in my swimsuit and write. This morning is the first morning on the trip that we have not gotten up early and left our hotel for our next destination. In the first 2 days, we saw 3 baseball games, a museum and 2 historical sites. We literally crawled into our beds in a new hotel each night.
The second reason is more personal, but with my apologies to those who were looking for some sarcasm...here goes:
We headed into Arlington Park Tuesday night to see the Rangers play. It had been a long day, and we were all hot, tired and a little grumpy (Ok, maybe it was just me). I asked The Husband if we could eat in the Grill that overlooked the park and watch batting practice to avoid the heat. You had to have a certain level of tickets to get into the Grill, and thankfully, ours were good. As we walked in, we looked for a table by the window so we could watch. There were none available, so we sort of frustratingly walked back towards the back. Suddenly, a man sitting alone at table for 4 looked up at me and said, "Here, take this one." The Husband said " No man, keep it". But he insisted, saying he would grab one alone in the back, and he took off. We sat down gratefully, and The Husband sent a beer to his table. A few minutes later, he walked over and said thanks. He explained that he was an active duty soldier. He trains our troops before they are sent overseas. In his spare time, he coaches his local high school football team in Iowa. For Father's Day, his wife had given him one ticket so he could come to the game and enjoy his beloved baseball. He was so excited that you could just feel it.

We chatted with him for a while, and then he went back to his table. I looked at the kids...and then unfortunately, I launched into the "Mom lecture" on thankfulness and gratefulness and being a little spoiled. I was actually lecturing myself. The kids were very impressed by this man. The Boy suggested we ask him to eat with us, but The Husband pointed out that he looked very content eating his hot dog, drinking his beer, and reading his program. On his way out, He thanked Us again...

And so today, as we prepare to got to the College World Series and watch The Husband's Alma mater that has amazingly made it to the finals on the day we are here...I am determined to overlook the 95 degree heat and be thankful...

But you know, by the time I get home next week, I am sure I will be ready to discuss the realities of the trip. From waiting on a bridge for hours for bats that never came...to The Husband catching a foul ball at a game and deciding to give autographs...there will be plenty to talk about.

But for today....only a sincere sense of thankfulness for a vacation that may have been different, but terrific...

With 3 days and 4 games to go.....

The Texas Crawl...Pre-Trip

2010-06-18T06:15:00.000-07:00

Well, it's almost here. Sunday morning marks the beginning of the "Texas Crawl". This is when we begin our trip that will take us to Houston, Austin, Dallas,Topeka, Wichita, Omaha and Kansas City. We will see 6 baseball games in 7 days, including the College World Series. The bags are packed (almost), the tickets are bought (more on that later) and the hotels are booked (not exactly).

The Husband began suggesting this trip a couple months back. His favorite description of it included the terms "something different" and "a change of pace". I threw out the idea of a trip to Paris...now this would be a change of pace. Especially after our year of baseball and softball tournaments. But The Husband really wanted to see that College World Series, and also some other stadiums. Let me me quickly state that I am not martyr in this situation. A few people have said "Oh you are such a good sport" or "Oh you are such a trooper"...and though I love these accolades....they are not quite true. Frankly, I love baseball, too. If you read the blog, you know that growing up with 3 brothers and a father who was president of the Hawks (basketball), my childhood was consumed with sports. We lived at the baseball field or the basketball arena...so I am very comfortable at either place. A few summers ago when we took our disastrous trip to Connecticut and New York, it was my idea to go to Yankees stadium one more time before they tore it down....so my point is, don't feel sorry for me for this part of it...

There are many things to be thankful about regarding this trip. Number one...I get my own carry-on bag. Usually I have to share with Little One, but The Husband agreed to all of us having our own. The down-side of this is that this trip really does not require anything besides t-shirts and tennis shoes. (Ok, I did sneak in a t-shirt dress and sandals...)

Secondly, I have heard and read that Austin is a neat city. I am not a cowboy boot or hat-wearing type girl, but I am always open to new things. A friend sent me a link to the Blanton Museum there which looks fabulous....and despite The Husband's "We don't want to overwhelm the kids with that stuff" comment (really...6 games in 6 days...and we don't want to overwhelm anyone?), I will be searching this place out.

Next, The Husband loves that Food Network show "Diners,Drive-ins and Dives". Every night about 10:00, our tv ends up on this channel. Turns out there are about 5 of these places within a 7 hour detour of where we are going....and we will be hitting them all. This works out great for the Husband and The Boy, who have never met a plate of deep fried food they haven't loved. Maybe not so great for me and The Little One who really like to have an occasional vegetable or fruit...

The hotel selection was another debate. I am not high maintenance....but I do like clean and convenient. I am not big on driving 4 hours out of the way for anything either. And I cannot be plied with the comment "but they have a buffet breakfast". This caused a few bumps in the road, but all in all, I am happy with the ones I booked. The Husband has decided to leave a few to chance....this leads me to picture us on the side of the road in our car....

Last night, The Husband explained to me that the tickets we have to the College World Series do not actually guarantee us a seat. They only guaranteed us the right to line up outside the stadium after midnight and hope for a spot. Also, The Husband said, if you don't get in, you can watch on a big screen outside. Let's review....a trip across the US to see 2 games....and the chance of not getting in. Before the night was over...we had reserved seats.

So here we are, 2 days out from the big trip. I am prepared and excited. A friend has suggested that I re-watch "Family Vacation" with Chevy Chase to prepare. Another friend reminded me to pack the Tums. Brother-in-law merely wrote "t-shirts and sunscreen"...

I know there will be lessons to be learned on this trip. But you know, it is indeed a "Family Vacation", with all of the memories, good and bad, that go with those. I am prepared to be thankful and have a great time...

Yee Haa....Texas bound....I'll keep you posted....

She'll Always Have Paris...

2010-06-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

One of Big Sis's friends e-mailed me over the weekend. She and her husband were in Switzerland visiting her in-laws, and they had been gifted with a 2 night trip to Paris. This was to be her first trip there, and she wanted to know what I thought she should see or do.
My first thought was, how lucky! To have the opportunity to take a quick 2 night, romantic trip to Paris is just amazing. Then I tried to give it some serious thought. After all, she hadn't been there before, and I wanted her to get the best she could out of her two days. I thought back to my first trip there years ago, taken with my sister-in-law. After years of studying french and dreaming of Paris, I had asked her to join me. In addition to her desire to see the City of Light, she wanted to retrace her father's steps during the war. He had lived right outside of Paris for a time, and she wanted to see if we could track down the house where he had stayed. This gave our trip a neat framework. We were there for a week,so we would have a chance to see the "biggies", including the Eiffel Tower and Notre Dame. Given my love of art and fashion, I also wanted to see the Louvre and a few of the couture shops.
I remember flying over the city right before we landed and seeing the Eiffel Tower in the distance. I had tears in my eyes, tears that would reappear many times over the next 7 days. As I thought about what to suggest to A. for her 2 day trip, I tried to remember what had meant the most to me during my stay. Of course I loved seeing the Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame....but the most precious memories were not of actual sights. The first morning there , when our breakfast was delivered to our room, I can still picture it. A perfectly set tray of croissants, espresso, fruit, and tiny jars of honey and jam, of which I would allow myself one so that I could stash the others to bring home, hoping to bring into my life a bit of Paris. The next memory which stood out was standing in front of the American Embassy trying to take a picture (sister-in-law's dad had been there), and being told by gendarmes that we were not allowed to photograph the Embassy. These same gendarmes were not allowed to be photographed, but they discreetly posed for us when we hid behind trees and snapped away.
My next best memory would be purchasing a pair of pink suede boots in a shop called Ines de ls Fressange. Ines was a famous model for Chanel, and she had opened a small shop of beautiful well-made clothes with prices that were more approachable than Chanel. As soon as I spotted these boots (in the sale section no less), I knew I had to have them. 20 years later, they sit on my shelf, still looking like new despite years of wear.
And lastly, the most haunting memory is taking the train outside of Paris to search for the house of my S-I-L's father. This required a bit of courage, because we would be totally dependent on my french to get us around and ask the pertinent questions. My french was certainly good enough, but my courage was iffy. But after a few hours of scouring neighborhoods and asking questions, we found what we thought was the house. My sister-in-law had tears in her eyes. I did too. It was a magical moment in life.
So as I visited memories, I tried to remember that Paris is more than just the museums and the Tower. Paris, for me at least, is a way of life. So while I suggested seeing the Louvre and the Tuilleries, I also suggested just taking the time to sit in a cafe and have an espresso or a glass of wine and just watch the people walk by. Because after all, it is the small moments that are sometimes the most meaningful...

I wish A. a lovely trip...I hope that 20 years from now, she will look back and feel the way I did when I think of my first trip there...

If You Don't Leave, You Can't Come back...

2010-05-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

Here is the thing. If you leave without making a big deal out of it, then you are able to sneak back for a visit every now and then, right? It's been several weeks since my "final" blog, and in that time, an unbelievable amount of life has happened. At first, I continued to construct the blog in my mind, even though I wasn't writing it. It was a relief not to have to take the time to actually write it down. But the last few days, I missed it. Not the result or the feedback, which is what I expected to miss, but the act of putting it all into words. So over the summer, I've decided to jump back into the blog. I don't know how often. I guess I'll just see if anything interesting happens...

Today was the last day of school. The last few weeks have been a blur. 2 baseball tournaments, 1 softball tournament,a play, 2 dance recitals...and an exchange student from Paris. The last was by far the most rewarding, but I'll save that for another day.

This morning was not unlike many recent mornings in our house. After letting Little One and the Boy stay up way too late, their grumpiness was overwhelming. I thought I had prepared for this...you know, it's always my thought process that being totally prepared insures a smooth morning. Why do I never learn my lesson? When you have a 12 year old boy and 10 year old girl involved, mornings are never smooth sailing...

The Boy had to wear a shirt and tie for Honors Day. I had the shirt ironed and the tie and belt and shoes laying out....what I didn't expect is that the pants that had fit 2 months ago would now hover somewhere around the ankles. A year ago, The Boy would have said "they're fine, Mom". Not anymore. Out came the ironing board and a search for the proper fit.

Little One was having her Field Day. This required athletic shorts and a t-shirt. You'd think this would be easy....you'd think. Thankfully, she had laid it all out on her bed the night before. Unfortunately, the hair was not cooperating.Coupled with the fact that she could not find a library book that should have been turned in a week ago, she was a mess.

Normally, I roll my eyes and shake my head, and we head out the door at about the same time each day. But this morning, I was suppose to have breakfast with 2 friends to celebrate our last morning in lower school drop-off line.I hadn't let myself think about this too deeply...after all, a few weeks ago I had witnessed The Senior graduate from college. The fact that I would have 2 middle schoolers next year hadn't settled in. But if there was a way to find humor in this, these two would find it...so I was determined to be on time.

As I dropped them off and watched Little One enter the building for what would be her last time, I wasn't sure what to feel. Happy? Relieved? Sad? Not really any of the above. During our breakfast, my friends and I managed to discuss everything BUT this ending, so I was still left to ponder it throughout the day. I picked the kids up from school, and we were all strangely quiet. We headed to our traditional Last Day of School meal at the Pub near Grandma's. This has been a favorite with the kids since they were toddlers. The Husband joined us....and as I looked around table, I was once again reminded of how fast is all goes. The boy looked over and winked at me, like he was reading my mind. "Late bedtime tonight, right mom?" Well of course. Little One continued to plot out our next few days.

A few days at Grandma's house is always the cure for everything...I've been at this road in life before, but I won't be here again. It's an interesting place. I'm not really one to sit still and reflect...I'm usually planning my next step...But today, it's worth taking a moment to take it all in....

The last day of school is also the first day of summer....

"Promise me You'll Never Forget Me, Because if I Thought You Would, I'd Never Leave"....Pooh

2010-04-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

If you've followed the saga of Brett Favre over the last few years, you'll understand the analogy I'm getting ready to make. A couple of years ago, Brett tearfully "retired" from the Green Bay Packers. Said he was too old to play. Said he had no more to give.....A few months later, after the smoke had cleared, he changed his mind. Most people were ecstatic (Ok, not his team, but that is another story). He came back and played another year for the New York Jets. At the end of that year, he again declared his retirement...once again emotionally saying that it was time....But a few months later, he stepped off a helicopter in Minnesota and became a Viking......After a terrific season (Ok Brother-In-Law, except for the last play of the season)..he has alluded to the fact that he is finished. But this time...nobody really paid much attention. No tears. No begging....kind of like "who cares"....

And so it goes for this blog writer. After proclaiming my retirement several times before ,I came back. The first time, it was because The Boy called me a quitter. The second time, it was because I missed the daily feedback from my hilarious, anonymous readers. But this time it is different. If you follow the blog, you've noticed that I haven't been posting as often. It gets harder and harder after a year to come up with fresh ideas. I've found myself completing an entire post before realising that I already wrote about the same thing last year...

And so today, on this lovely Thursday, I'm saying good-bye to my readers. This time, without drama or hesitation, because when it is time to go, it is time to go...I've enjoyed every minute of writing this blog, and I am full of appreciation for all of you who took the time to read it. Thanks to all of my international, cyber-space friends from Malaysia, Afghanistan, Italy, France...all of you who for some reason were interested in what The Boy, Little One, The Senior and Big Sis...not to mention The Husband......were doing on a daily basis. You disproved The Husband's theory that you just typed in "Bore me today", and up popped my blog...

Thanks to my immediate friends and family who read and commented on a daily basis. Remember, I am still here even if the blog is not...

And lastly, thanks to The Husband, who allowed me to "frame it out" my way......You will forever be my 'fodder'...

Love,

C'est La Vie Girl

On Not Being the Cat Waiting for the Bird...

2010-04-19T05:20:00.000-07:00

I was looking out the window this morning at our cat. He'd finished his breakfast and requisite morning scope of the neighborhood, searching for a second meal.Finally, he settled into his favorite spot...underneath the big tree in the back yard with the bird feeder. He will wait there all day long, silently staring up at the feeder for any sign of a bird. Now I have never seen him actually get one (and I hope I never do), but it doesn't stop him. He sits there day after day hoping to land a big catch...

Rewind the weekend a bit, and I was chastising myself this morning. As previously discussed in this blog, I am the middle child. What comes with this is an annoying tendency to constantly defend anything and everything. Charles Manson? Probably abused as a child. Hitler? Must have been ill. Sadaam Hussein? Bad mom. See? I can bring up an excuse for anyone. And I often have. The Husband often refuses to have a discussion with me for this reason. And to be quite honest, I can often annoy myself. I will be having a conversation with someone, and the voice in my head says "Why do you insist on doing that?".............However.....

I noticed this weekend that I have been doing it less and less. The Boy is on a new team this year, one filled with people I don't know very well. The Husband said I must be social and friendly. I must not sit and read a book. So I have tried. But what I have noticed is a tendency to "sit and wait for the bird". What I mean is, do you ever notice how many conversations tend to revolve around gossip or criticism? How many times that instead of discussing something positive or hopeful, it is easy to fall into a cynical or even critical way of talking. I was thinking about it this morning, and I think it is the result of lazy conversation. It's just easy to fall into the habit of complaining or criticizing something. For example, we played a very early game this weekend. We had to be at the field at 7:30, which meant rising at 6:30. Granted, our boys had just returned from their DC field trip and were tired...but come on...they are 12. It's not like we were throwing them out in the fields to work or something. They were coming to play baseball...and if you are on a travel baseball team, surely that is exciting. But instead of focusing on the fact that it was a beautiful day at the park, we all seem to be complaining about being tired...hungry...concessions stands...whatever.

Fast forward to yesterday and Little One's shining performance in her play. I found myself commiserating with a friend over some minor issues.....we had been set painters for the last few productions, and with 8 kids between us, we both have a tendency to need organisation. Unfortunately, in the local theater world, this does not always happen. But after the show was over, and the new Director was thanking everyone for their help, I felt a wash of shame come over me. Good grief, these people had just spent months putting on a major production. One that we are fortunate to have in such a small town....and all I could do was find the problems..."wait on the bird"...

I'm gonna work on this. I need to get back to my "middle child" syndrome, because in the end, I'd rather be defending than criticizing. I'd rather lift up than put down. And often times, all it takes is one person pointing out the good...and then everyone else follows....

Until tomorrow...and good words and thoughts for everyone....

The Story of the Lady Who was Hushed at the Ball Field

2010-04-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

The names in the following story have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent...

Once upon a time, it was a beautiful day at the baseball field. A dad was coaching his son's travel ball team, and all was going well. The son was pitching, the team was playing well and winning. But as was often the case, the dad was being a tad bit hard on the son. Now...it must be said that the dad was a pretty good coach, and besides a little bit of sarcasm which was unnecessary, he was very good with the other players. But if the son messed up, he was likely to hear about it, often in a voice that could be heard 3 fields down...

Anyway, on with our story...There was a runner on first. The son threw a pitch which was hit back to him very hard. He fielded the ball cleanly and turned and fired it to second, in time to get the runner. The boy who hit the ball was very fast, so a double play was never in question. Now, most of the fans were shouting congratulations to the son...but suddenly the dad/coach yelled "Son, you have to be QUICKER with the throw!!!." Well, at least 3 people in the crowd said "Oh no...he made a good play. No way they could have had the guy at first."....Now , the mom, who up to know had been sitting quietly minding her own business, was troubled. She knew that it was normal for the dad to be extra hard on the son...and she knew it was probably wise to stay quiet...but a voice inside her said "speak up". ...So the mom called out quietly to the dad...And in a calm voice which could not be taken for anything but concern, she said "Hey, he did throw it quickly...............". But before she was allowed to finish her thought, the dad shouted out "__________, (insert name of mom)....HUSH!!!". Well, a sudden hush flew over the stands. One of the dad's yelled out "He's a little testy today" in order to allay the total awkwardness of the situation. The mom turned to another mom and said "Did he just tell me to hush?" Whereupon the whole group of mothers burst out laughing. Because of course, none of them had ever heard this comment....at least not since they were 5.....and certainly not from their husbands....Later in the game, another mom attempted to tease the dad/coach about his behavior. His reponse? "Does Bobby Cox's (Atlanta Braves Coach) wife yell out to him?".....................Hmmm. See, now the wife understood...she had not understood that he was a Major League Baseball Coach.......SHE THOUHT IT WAS A 13 YR OLD TRAVEL BALL GAME!!!!!!

Well, hush she did. In fact, she had no conversation with the dad the rest of the game, and from what I hear, she does not plan on having any with him for several days...

So what is the moral of this story?......I'm not sure yet. Somewhere in the ball field etiquette rule book , there must be a rule about spousal disagreement. Something along the lines of "If the dad yells too loudly at the son, the mom is allowed to intervene"....

Until tomorrow...

--

On Being Glad about the Big Return

2010-04-16T05:48:00.000-07:00

The Boy comes home later today. This puts a smile on my face. He will most likely be tired and grumpy after a week of sharing a room with 3 other boys, but who cares? Tonight he will eat us out of house and home and beg to stay up late...and I will be thankful for 'life back to normal'.

Little One declares that she didn't miss him, but 2 nights ago, she lay in bed crying because her teeth were killing her after a 'braces adjustment". "Stupid Boy" she declared. "Stupid Boy what?" I asked. "He's not even here". She didn't answer, just laid there crying. "Do you miss him?"....."NO!"................."Maybe just a tiny bit?".......and there it was...a tiny, tiny nod of the head, so subtle that it may not have been visible to any other human eye besides her mom's....Minutes later, she denied the whole thing...

Last night, The Husband and I had a 'date night' at the Olive Garden. With Little One along. "Just pretend she isn't here" said The Husband. Now, what does the fact that I was unbelievably thrilled about this date tell you? Two things. I don't have very sophisticated culinary taste.....and I am always thrilled not to have to cook. The nice things about these dates is that I hear things from The Husband that may normally go unnoticed. Major things. I mean, it's not that we don't talk or communicate on a daily basis....but with 4 kids, several businesses, baseball, softball, dance, plays....sometimes the only things we cover during the course of a day is "Do I have any clean socks?" or "Do the Braves play tonight". So the chance to sit down to dinner together and chat about random "stuff' is nice. Last night, I learned a few new things...but the funny thing about The Husband is that he always swears he has told me these things. And I swear he hasn't. "You just don't listen to me" he says. This could be true, but I refuse to admit it. The fact is, The Husband has a tendency to be tad bit critical...so it may be true that I occasionally tune him out. But last night I was listening, and I fill like I acquired several weeks worth of information. This makes me happy. In fact, the only down-side of the evening was that I forgot my leftovers...which will make lunch so much less exciting today. (Not to mention the fact that The Husband chastised me the whole way home)

So today, as I await the "hour of return" for The Boy, I will be thankful for busy weeks and safe returns....

On Wanting to Tell Your Story...

2010-04-13T18:57:00.001-07:00

I sat for awhile in the Principal's office this afternoon at Little One's school. I had a slight issue to discuss with him, so I was patiently waiting for him to finish up with someone else before I had my turn. As I sat quietly taking it all in, I felt a renewed respect for the school secretary. In the 20 minutes that I was in there, she distributed 3 band aids, ice, 2 tissues, took 5 phone calls, made 4 copies...all while talking to teachers and monitoring the Principal's whereabouts....amazing.

When she stepped out of the room for a moment, in ran a little boy...I was guessing a kindergartner. Running down his knee was a tiny stream of blood. It was obvious to me, sitting across the room, that this was a minor scrape...a boo-boo as it were. But this little boy was not of the same opinion. He ran in and exclaimed "Excuse me!!! Excuse me!! I need some help!" Well, since I was the closest adult in sight, he looked at me. Now I had no idea where the band aids were kept, but his urgency made me want to at least pretend that I did....so I rose to my feet. As I did, the secretary came back in. "I need a band aid!" he shouted. Sweetly, she grabbed a tissue and instructed him to wipe it off. She sprayed some sort of anesthetic on it...to which he replied "It's feeling better already." She pulled out a band aid and began to apply it....and then it came. The question he had been dying to ask ever since he came in. "Wanna here how it happened?" ....Now I'm sure you think the secretary answered "Of course" or "tell me".....but no. She avoided the question all together and diverted him with a "You'll be fine". ....Now look...I didn't blame her one bit. I'll lay odds that she had heard similar stories at least 10 times today. I have no doubt that with only minutes to go in the day, she just couldn't listen to one more...

But the little boy was determined to be heard. You know that feeling when you have a story and you just have to tell it? And no matter what anyone says or how they try to avoid it...you find a way to get it out (This blog is a great way of accomplishing that)......Well, the boy began his story. And when the phone rang and the secretary turned to answer it...he just continued on, never even hesitating. In fact, he started talking to me as if I were somehow a worthy substitute for his attention. I could not hear a word he was saying above the din of the phone, teachers and all...but it didn't matter. All I had to do was nod my head and smile. When the secretary hung up the phone, she instructed him to head back to his class. He smiled and hobbled to his feet, putting on an Oscar-worthy performance as he limped out the door. The only problem was....he was limping on the wrong leg....

I thought about that little guy all afternoon. He made me miss my Boy. Day 2. Is this only Tuesday? I actually went up and stared at his un-made bed. I wondered what he was doing. I think tonight is the dinner cruise. Did he get the coach to tie his tie? Did he ask someone to dance? Is he getting any sleep? Is he having fun? All these questions I have. When I ask them out loud to The Husband...he answers like the school secretary...total avoidance, with a dash of condescension. "He''ll be fine". But even the Husband admitted to missing him. After all, he has nobody to throw on the floor and tackle...

So until tomorrow...or the next day...

On Being the Mom that Cried....

2010-04-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

The Boy is off to Washington DC this morning with his class. We.... well, I....spent all last evening packing for this trip. It's very tricky to pack a week's worth of clothes, including a coat and tie for a dinner cruise, into a small suitcase. I am worried I have things hidden where The Boy won't find them. I spent 30 minutes giving him a rundown on where everything was, but he was distracted by the Braves game, and only paid attention when he heard 'Ipod' and 'DS'.

I tried to explain the importance of folding dirty clothes and putting the shampoo back in the plastic bag, but even as I heard the words coming out of my mouth, I thought, really? Why would he do on a trip what he does not do at home? I cautioned him about not over-snacking or over coke-drinking as I packed 362 quarters in his tote bag. I suppose I am the Queen of mixed messages...

His first words when I woke him this morning were "Do I really have to go?" The Boy is, after all, a major homebody. Now my answer to this was almost "Of course not!" But I caught myself. The thought of a week without my Boy is gut-wrenching....he is my personality-equivalent in the household. He is able to cheer me up, make me laugh...whatever....with just a look. But I knew that what he needed from me was a little push. So I launched into the annoying mom lecture on how this was the opportunity of a lifetime....many people never even get the opportunity to go on a trip like this...This was all that was needed. He totally tuned me out and started worrying about what he would be eating for lunch and who he would choose to sit with...

Our ride to the bus was pleasant. I reminded him about manners and kindness and good decisions, and he patiently listened. I asked if it would be embarrassing to hug me...and thankfully, he said "No Prob".

I had planned on staying until the bus drove out of sight....but it seems that this was not to be the norm for everyone. The Boy was a "bus-loader"...so he would be busy for half an hour. Should I stay or should I go? I watched several people go...I watched The Boy laughing with his coach and friends...and I decided to untie that apron string just a bit....

I called The Boy over and said good-bye. I wished him a good trip. He gave me a big bear hug and a smile...and I cried. I didn't mean to, but I did. He patted me and said bye. His friends said good-bye to me and added "it's ok, Mrs. M"......I know, it's ok....

I stopped for coffee on the way home. I listened to sad songs on the radio. I cried some more. When I got home, The Husband was still sleeping, somehow immune to all of the emotion. Little One slipped down the stairs and asked for breakfast....life goes on.

So today, I'll think about that Boy every minute of the day...I'll hope and pray that he is safe and happy....and I'll hang on until next Friday....

Martha Washington Did Not Wear a Mini-Dress or Messy Bun...

2010-04-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

This morning was Little One's long-awaited Biography Breakfast. This is the day when they dress up like a famous person from history that they are secretly-assigned to, do a short presentation, and see if their classmates can guess who they are. This is all done during a breakfast that is provided by the mothers (or fathers) of the students from the class.

Little One was assigned to be Martha Washington. This did not thrill her. "I wanted to be Amelia Eckert". .....Who? I asked............."You know, the lady flier. She wore pants"............Ah, you mean Amelia Earhart......
We scoured books and books to find a picture of Martha Washington that suited Little One. With each picture, she became more and more depressed. I tried to explain that this was meant to be a historical study, not a fashion show...but I was met with the glare that Little One often gives me, which means that I just do not understand anything. "Mom. I am not wearing some dumb long dress. And what is with her hair? Why do I have to be Mother of the Country? "...........Well, I had to admit that this may not have been a terrific match up for Little One, but I was determined to try and get her to have a good attitude. As I have said before, despite my penchant for Project Runway, I am not a gifted costume maker. This meant we would need to order something. Imagine my delight when I typed in "Martha Washington" on costume.com, and 5 things popped up. Unfortunately, Little One did not share my delight. She was visually appalled. "You will have to cut that dress and make it shorter." Well, you know, you agree to certain things just to make life easier...

Last night, when she tried on the costume, there were issues...and a loud argument ensued. I refused to cut the dress off at the knees....I had a feeling Martha had not been into mini-dresses. I also insisted that she wear her hair in a bun. Not one picture had shown Martha in flowy, Hannah Montanna hair....Little One put up her best fight, but finally relented and agreed to a "messy bun"....Ok, so this would be the sexy version of Martha Washington....

So this morning, I awoke to make chocolate chip pancakes at 6:00. These are the silly things you commit to weeks before the actual day. What the heck was I thinking? Oh well...hopefully it would put Little One in a good mood. When she clomped downstairs in her long dress and messy bun, I noticed she had on cowboy boots. Again, I felt that Martha would not have sported these under her gowns, but I kept my mouth shut. Like Little One, I occasionally feel the need to rebel a bit...

I delivered Little One and the pancakes to school and left....I had been dis-invited on the grounds that I would make her too nervous. So on this lovely Friday morning, I'm hoping that the presentation went well, and that the pancakes tasted ok....

Until tomorrow...

The Cat Came Back....

2010-04-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

I knew the full bird feeders would do it. He's baaaaaaack.....:)

On Missing the Dumb Cat...

2010-04-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a few months since we lost the Dog. I still choke up occasionally...her water bowl, her leash....her old bed still sits at grandma's house. A good friend gave me a poignant book to read on life with our animals...but every time I pick it up, I cry and put it back down. But this is normal, I suppose. After 16 years, I took her lovely presence for granted...

But the darn cats are another story. I was never been a cat person, but I have become weirdly attached to the little one since the Dog left us. I pretend like I don't see her slip inside in the morning. She parks herself in the same chair and watches me paint for hours...and I'll admit it...I like it. I find myself talking to her, asking her opinion...very unlike me. I am even able to put up with the Boy's cat now. This cat has always been my mortal enemy...since the day he shoved his mamma over the deck railing to eat her food, I have disliked him. Every morning when I go out to feed him, he tries to push me out of the way...some how not grasping that I am there to feed him. It annoys me so much that I lecture him. But lately...I find myself cutting him some slack. He may not be very smart, but he is occasionally sweet...The Husband has assigned voices to each of the cats...and his voice is that of a 12 year old boy. And you just can't stay mad at a 12 year old boy for long...

So this morning...Mr. Boy Cat is AWOL. He didn't come home last night...and he didn't come back for breakfast. And this really bothers me. I have driven around looking in all of his secret places...but no luck. This guy does not like to miss a meal....so I am worried. I pretend to paint, but I keep checking the window......This is the reason for NOT having pets....I have filled the bird feeders with bird seed...The sight of all those birds will surely lure him back....

Until tomorrow...

Do I Have to Play?

2010-04-03T06:01:00.000-07:00

It's another beautiful morning here today. It looks like you could drink your coffee on the deck and watch the golfers...but it is still a little chilly for that (I did try). The Husband is already at work, but the kids are still sleeping...which means I get a few moments of bliss...

I am going to re-visit a familiar theme in this blog. The Boy and his friend..we will call him Z...decided they wanted to play basketball last night around 9:00. They wanted The Husband to play...and me....and they were willing to put up with Little one. The Husband and I looked at each other and yawned...and debated if we were in for the night. But they were persistent...so off we went to the court.
The last time I did this (Thanksgiving)...I came away with a black eye and a nose that looked broken. I had decided at that point that I was finished with any games with The Husband and Boy. But the friend and The Boy kept heaping on false praise ("Come on mom, you've still got game. Don't be a wimp!") And in a weak moment, I agreed to play. It was agreed that I would be on The Husband's team so that he would not be tempted to injure me. Little One would join us against the boys.
It was a rousing game. The Boy and friend are no longer little boys. They were playing together and coaching each other like it was NBA....and despite the fact that The Husband was saddled with the two girls...he held his own. I refused to go anywhere near the basket, because I was afraid of getting hurt. The one time I tried...the friend came down on me and then had to spend 10 minutes apologizing...Little One used her tactic of kicking their shins when they stole the ball from her...
At 10:00, the lights automatically go out at the gym...I admit to being thankful for this. The score was somewhere in the 100's...and I was ready for a shower and a good book. The boys were sweet and grateful that I had played.( "Thanks mom, you've still got game!...Yeah Mrs. M....nice shooting")...Please. It has come to this? The false flattery to make you feel better? How depressing. Of course, I convinced myself that having already run and worked out in the morning...I was just tired. Isn't it great how the mind can come up with excuses?...

We returned home and Little One and I became girls again and watched Project Runway reruns. The Boys watched the Hawks game and bragged about their game on facebook, not caring that I had to monitor every word...the Husband hit the couch with the paper and didn't move...a perfect night...

Until tomorrow....

It's a Good Friday

2010-04-02T05:17:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful day on the golf course. I navigated hell and high water to get here (Grandma's house) for a few days...and it was worth it. There are more golfers out this morning than I have ever seen. Must be some sort of company team-building outing at the resort, because there were groups of well-dressed men riding around in carts at 7:30 this morning. So many that I cannot go out and discreetly drink my coffee in my night gown on the deck...a minor sacrifice....

Yesterday was full of major negotiations at our house. The Boy was determined to get a friend over for the night. I had already committed to another friend coming later today...a friend who is so much like part of our family that I never mind him being with us. You know, the kind of friend who you can yell at just like your own child. The kind of boy who you can say "don't give me that" or " would you hurry it up?'...or even better, "if you even think about it, you're in big trouble". But The Boy was pushing for a pre-friend for one night. Now, I did not really want to do this...but I had no pressing reason. And by 12:00, The Boy had given me 22 reasons why it would be a good idea. So I caved, and I gave myself 30 minutes to huff and puff around about it...and then we all had a good day. Little One's BFF had previous plans, but that was ok, because Little One had softball practice and then she and I were going to hop in bed and watch Project Runway. This is a real treat because it usually comes on too late for her....The Husband was especially thankful for this, as this meant he did not have to watch with me. He got to go play basketball with the boys and then watch that riveting movie "Rush Hour" for the 276th time...

This is Easter weekend, which sadly takes on a very different dynamic when your parents are gone. Big Sis and Senior have plans, so it will just be the 4 of us this year. Little One now knows that the Easter Bunny isn't real ("I Knew he couldn't hop all night long!!"), so this will be the first year in 26 years that I have not hidden Easter baskets...well, at least secretly. We still bought Easter dresses, but that may have been more about wanting a new dress than Easter. This is also the first year that we will go out for brunch instead of doing it at home. And for this, and many, many other things...I am very thankful...

I hear The Boys rising...which is a sign of a friend being here...because if you read this blog with any regularity..you know The Boy never rises before noon without a reason.

So today, on this lovely Good Friday, I wish everyone a wonderful Easter... a day that is all about new beginnings and faith, regardless of how you celebrate it...

Until tomorrow...

The Generation of Entitlement

2010-03-31T06:12:00.000-07:00

There is an interesting letter to the editor in today's Wall Street Journal. It is in response to Charles Krauthammer's article which blames the "looming debt bomb" on entitlement. The writer goes on to explain how the younger generation has grown up with 4 particular leanings:

1) Exaggerated sense of entitlement. If you need to understand what this means, read Tiger Wood's explanation of his recent actions.
2)A generation whose parents did not let debt ever prevent them from getting whatever they wanted....which led to record personal bankruptcies, foreclosures and personal debt.
3) A failure, or at least non-proficiency in basic math, which leads them to not understand the dangers of excess debt.
4) The 'American Idol' mentality that says we can all have it all at any cost...and a preoccupation with celebrity culture.

Because of these 4 reasons, we are creating a generation that basically says "Who cares" when it comes to national debt.
From a personal perspective, it's a scary proposition. In our household, it is a daily struggle to get the kids to take personal responsibility and realize that they do not "deserve" anything and everything they want just because they are our children.

A friend who works at the local university pointed out how students take no responsibility for paying their tuition or bills on time....and parents back them up. The system is now set up to send an e-mail, twitter, facebook...plus the old-fashioned phone call, whenever the student is past due. When did this start happening? When I was in school, it was my responsibility to get my tuition paid on time. Nobody reminded me, and if I forgot, I was dropped from class. If I would have called my parents and questioned them about it, they would have chastised me for being irresponsible.

The Boy constantly begs for a phone. He thinks he deserves one because most of his friends have them. I try and explain that this means nothing. I try and explain that he has to earn things...on many levels. I try and explain that the mere birth of him into this family does not entitle him to any and everything. I try and explain that being a good kid does not mean multiple trips to Target and Best Buy. An A in math or science is rewarded by the feeling of accomplishment....not a video game.

I worked all the way through college. My parents paid my first year of tuition at a private school...and I lOVED that school...but I had to pay for everything else...and at 16, this was a stretch. The next year, when they said it was my responsibility...I had decisions to make. My social life took a hit. I had to work 3 nights a week and on the weekends. Eventually, I had to transfer to the state university. But I never felt penalized. I never once said to my parents "hey, no fair". My older brother earned a full-scholarship to FSU in basketball. They bought him a Z-28 Camero to take with him. I was thrilled for him. He had worked hard to earn it...and I thought he deserved it.

I came from a generation that understood that you don't buy L'Oreal because "I'm worth it". We didn't need constant validation...and we didn't get it. If my parents said "Good job", that meant something. I took pride in working hard. And don't get me wrong, I always enjoyed the financial rewards...and I certainly made my share of decisions based on that....but I never minded putting in the work.

I wonder how all of the celebrity/reality mentality will affect our kids. Will they become immune to what it means to be recognized because of true hard work and excellence...and not just because you were on a show for 10 minutes? Will they realize that falling in love is probably something that is best not done on camera? Will they realize that fame means nothing, but character means everything? I don't know.

Don't get me wrong. I love American Idol as much as the next person. I automatically throw a pack of baseball cards in the buggy for The Boy just for fun. The fact that Little One 'needs' Converse in several colors doesn't phase me. I contribute to the "downfall" on every level. But at least I know it...

Until tomorrow, when I will try and climb down from my high horse....

Love is Just a Word Until Someone Comes Along and Gives it Meaning

2010-03-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends got married on Sunday. In a small, lovely city called Lille, in France. With a very small, what she would call "intime" group of family and friends there to witness it. I wish I could have been there. She knew it was coming...knew they were going to do it ....but due to work, children, and all of the intricasies of life...she just did not know exactly when. When I opened the picture she sent me yesterday, my heart leapt just a little bit. The joy on her face was touching. I have known her for 25 years, and I know by now that the look on her face was a long time coming. After a long difficult first marriage, a leveling divorce, and a few years of lonely times, a certain cynicism had crept in. The kind that prevents you from believing that somewhere down the road, good things can still happen.

I sat at a cafe in Paris with her a little over a year ago and cried with her. Life was literally knocking her for a loop. A divorce that should have concluded was dragging on and on. An ex-husband was behaving badly. He and I had never quite seen eye to eye on much (seeing as how he was the definitive french male chauvinist), but I had expected better of him. Her children had 'chosen sides', and she didn't want sides. Her pain was palpable, but at the time, all I could do was listen...and encourage....and remind her that we never know what tomorrow brings.We walked the streets of Paris, looked at at lot of art work...and she enjoyed spending time with my second generation of children. She had helped me raise the older two...and somehow, being around Little One and The Boy gave her hope. She is The Boy's godmother, and as different as they are, they forged a strong bond. Over many games of Uno and lots of chocolate mousse...he made her laugh. And she made him promise to hang a Van Gogh poster in his room and study french...and he has done both.

I have not met the wonderful "Francois" yet. In fact, I have heard little about him, because my friend is like me...she holds it all very close until she is sure. But I knew early on that this was 'it', whatever 'it' is. Because when someone who has been hurt very badly begins to smile and giggle...and once again see life as a good thing...you figure that 'it' must have happened.

And so today, I wish my friend love and happiness...and peace. Bon Mariage, Benedicte et Francois...et tout l'amour dans le monde...

Until tomorrow....

"Adornment is Never Anything Except a Reflection of the Heart." Coco Chanel

2010-03-26T05:35:00.000-07:00

I had lunch with a few friends yesterday. This is not something I often do, but we all carpool our sons in the afternoon, and it seemed like a good idea to get together and chat. It's always good to get another mom's perspective on homework, how often baseball clothes need to be washed, and what to pack for the upcoming field trip to DC.

I had a few errands to run beforehand, so I decided to dress up a little bit. It was a New Year's resolution of sorts to start dressing up a little more. I noticed last year that when I put on something besides my jeans and tank top, The Husband would ask where I was going. This told me that I might need to put a little more effort in to my appearance.

I have about 6 minutes to get ready in the morning, if I am lucky, and I generally do this in as little light as possible in order to avoid disturbing The Husband, who is still in bed. This means I can brush my hair, put on some lip gloss...and if I am really being fancy, a bit of eyeliner. I always spray the perfume too...I have to do this...it must be my genetic link to my french ancestors, because I feel naked without it. That generally leaves 2 minutes for clothes. Now, the first thing I see in my closet are my old torn jeans that I generally wear at some time or other everyday. They are my "go to" piece of clothing. The problem with those jeans is that a shirt or t-shirt must be thrown on too. Last year, I left my pajama top on a few times, and of course, those were the days in drop-off line at school that someone would walk up and say hello. See, school drop-off line fools you a bit. You think you can get by with the TV announcer trick of wearing a decent shirt with sweatpants or gym shorts.....because you know, everyone only sees you from the waist up...but you cannot get sucked into this thinking, because just when you do, a teacher will call out to you, and you will be forced to get out of your car and reveal the fact that you are wearing a blazer over your sweatpants.

The moms I lunched with commented on the fact that they have seen me wearing heels in the morning. This is true. But the fact is, I have only 3 choices in my shoe wardrobe...tennis shoes, heels or boots. I just don't do flat heels, and I only wear tennis shoes with my sweatpants. (This rule was drummed into me by my best friend in Paris who declared the American woman habit of wearing tennis shoes with anything but workout gear as "gauche")

It's so easy for men...you put on the suit or the khaki pants and dress shirt....and you are good to go. But for women, there are so many choices. And you know, just one more way to express yourself...and be judged for it.

Here is the thing. I like clothes. I like to look nice. No crime in that, right? I don't care what anybody else is wearing. I assume that most people are just trying to be comfortable or appropriate. But I spent several years watching people put together different "looks" for me to wear on a runway or in an ad...and I enjoyed it. It's a creative outlet. The other thing is...and this is probably something psychological that needs to be discussed in therapy...for the last several years of her life, my mom stopped putting a lot of care into her appearance. Especially after my father died. She just gave up. And this broke my heart. So sometimes, when I look in the mirror and I haven't tried very hard....it makes me so sad.

So today, I'm going to remember that what I wear is not always based only on function. Sometimes, it feels good to look in to the mirror and feel like those 6 minutes in the morning were put to good use...

Until tomorrow...

"I think the thing to do is enjoy the ride while you're on it." Johnny Depp

2010-03-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

I'm on the last stages of a painting for a friend. I've gone through the various stages that I usually go through when painting...love, hate, disgust, hope...and finally, content. When I walk by it now, I enjoy it. The Boy says it is good. Little One stares at the photo and then the painting for several minutes and then gives a thumbs up. There are still corrections be made, but it's at the point that I know it can be accomplished. This is my favorite period. I will leave it up and do it slowly. This is when I get to enjoy the process.

Little One's school conference was this morning. She was full of nerves. Her grades were fine and she never gets in trouble, but there is just something about a teacher conference that puts fear in a 10 year old. As the conference went on, I could see Little One start to relax and...well, not enjoy herself, but realize everything was going to be ok. Her teacher made a few well-timed jokes and she actually laughed and talked a bit. When we left, she said "That wasn't so bad'.

I wish I had learned earlier in my life how to let go of the worry and enjoy things more. I grew up with a constant sense of worry and tension about how I was doing....at everything. Whether it was swimming or painting or school work or modeling....whatever...I was constantly second-guessing myself. I guess a little of this is ok...it drives you to be better. But unfortunately, you wake up years later and ask yourself why you couldn't have worried a little less...and enjoyed it a bit more...

So today, as Little One and I do whatever her little heart desires, I will remember...and try to get her to remember....to enjoy the ride. Time goes by so quickly, and in the end, what we will remember about something is not the outcome, but the experience. Whether it's a painting or a conference, it's nice to do do your best and be pleased with the outcome...but it's even nicer to enjoy the process...

Until tomorrow...

Don't Cry because It's Over. Smile Because it Happened. Dr. Seuss

2010-03-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

The Boy was gone all weekend. What started out as a Friday night spend-the-night evolved into a full-fledged boys weekend. Late Friday, The Husband called and asked me to call The Boy at his friend's house to see if he wanted to go with another friend to their family farm after baseball practice the next day. Well, wait a minute. Didn't someone need to ask me first? After all, if truth be told, I hate it when The Boy spends the night away. The weekend is just not the same without him constantly asking for food and negotiating for more bedtime.

The Boy is my cheerleader. He is always worried about my comfort and my feelings. When he thinks someone has hurt me, he intercedes and either tackles me or jokes with me until I laugh. In other words, I like having him around for my own selfish reasons.

As I picked up the phone to call him at his friend's house. I was pretty sure he would decline the offer. The Boy is a home body, so I figured one night away would be enough for him. Uh, I was wrong. When I asked if he wanted to go....which I believe I phrased as "You don't want to go to.....do you?", he answered "Cool! Yeah. See ya." I hung up and stared at the phone. That would mean 2 days without him, 3 if you counted the fact that he and The Husband were going to the Hawks game Sunday which would really only leave him home long enough to do homework. I believe I actually teared up for a moment, but I quickly reminded myself to cut it out and loosen those apron strings. I grew up with 3 brothers, and I knew it was important to let The Boy do his thing. Nobody likes a "Momma's Boy"....well, except Momma.

The next morning, I was assigned the duty of taking Little One and BFF to play practice. They had spent the night together and were planning to spend the day...and another night together if only I would agree. After their practice, I suggested running by the baseball field to see The Boy. This did not go over well. I had to make several concessions in order to get them to agree. Another spend-the-night, a trip to the shoe store, s'mores for dinner....you get the picture. When they finally agreed, the rest of my day was already planned. Oh well, at least I would get to give The Boy a hug and kiss....

They were already on the field practicing when I got there. I sat up in the stands and watched awhile. The girls had made me agree to a half an hour...and it became increasingly clear that unless I planned on going out onto the field and chatting with him at first base...I was out of luck. I briefly considered doing this...but since The Husband was coaching, I could only imagine the lecture that might come from that. I tried to catch The Boy's eye...but it was just too hard from across the field. 30 minutes later, the girls literally yanked me out of the stands and demanded we head to the shoe store...

That night, as I made s'mores and debated with the girls who was prettier, Miley Cyrus or Selena Gomez, I missed The Boy. After asking The Husband for the hundredth time if he thought The Boy would be ok, he finally gave me the "get over it" look. Literally translated, this means "quit your sissy-girl whining and let me watch the basketball game". Of course, The Husband does not understand. He is not a mom. He is not prone to perpetual worrying. He doesn't sit around and come up with 454 ways that The Boy might get hurt. Nope, he just says "Let him be a boy".

Well, of course this was right. The next day, as I got out of the car to pick him up, it was all I could do not to embarrass him by throwing my arms around him. As he climbed in the car and handed me two days worth of dirty clothes, I told him I had missed him. He nodded and launched into a 15 minute description of 4 wheelers getting stuck in the mud and diving in a freezing lake. Such joy on his face. I sat and listened, happy that he had had so much fun , but a little amazed at how old he looked as he talked. I was proud of myself for restraining myself from trying to extract some kind of declaration of how he had missed home. It was clear that he hadn't given it a moment's thought...

A few hours later, I took him to meet The Husband so they could head off to the basketball game. As I climbed out of the car, he called me over to his window. I walked over and told him to have fun. " Kiss me pretty momma". Ok, so I had to fight some tears back. Letting go isn't always easy...

In a few weeks, he heads to Washington D.C. for a week on a class fieldtrip....This will require a lot of preparation on my part.....

This and That (After the Break)

2010-03-19T17:44:00.000-07:00

I took a blog-break this week. I had something to do every morning that had me avoiding my computer. Wednesday morning I met a good friend for coffee. I am always amazed at the sheer number of subjects we can cover in a 2 hour period. We ordered our coffee from Starbucks, and two hours later, I still had half a cup left. This differs from my usual practice of finishing my cup between the drive-through and my house. I'm repeating a theme that I have visited in the blog many times before, but having a friend of this caliber is a true blessing in life. I met her on the steps of Little One's preschool 10 years ago, and we have been on the same wavelength ever since. When I have exciting news, I call her. When I have devastating news, I call her. And everything in between. I can always count on a kind, honest and supportive ear. We may not live near each anymore, but I always feel close to her nevertheless.

Last night, I came in from Little One's softball practice about 9:30. We had gone there straight from The Boy's game, so there was still dinner, bath and homework to do. I was tired and grumpy and pretty sure that I was going to miss my beloved Project Runway. The light on the answering machine was flashing , so I pushed play. I wished I hadn't. On it was a voice reminding me that I had volunteered to distribute art projects to all of the lower school rooms in the morning. Now I had volunteered for this months ago...and isn't that what always happens? You say yes long in advance and then ask yourself "What was I thinking?" Anyway, I psyched myself into "positive mode", and a very nice co-volunteer and myself miraculously completed the project in a couple of hours.

I started a new workout routine this week. After taking a few months off due to the heart issues, I decided it was time to start back. I pulled out one of my old Cindy Crawford videos which was always guaranteed to bring results in a few weeks. I started it on Tuesday morning, proud of myself for getting through part of it. It had always been difficult, so I had cut myself a bit of slack. By Wednesday morning, I was in pain. I could barely walk up the stairs to wake the kids for school. Each step was torture. I gave myself a day off, but this morning after the volunteer duty, I was determined to try it again. I made it a little longer this time, but not without some major groaning. As you get older, your head tells you you can do anything you want, but your body sometimes disagrees. I'm hoping I will eventually accomplish the whole tape...

The Boy is spending the night with a friend tonight. Little One and BFF are upstairs doing each other's hair. The Husband has put in the most violent movie he owns, so I'm content on this Friday night to retire to the bedroom and watch the episode of Project Runway that I missed...

Thank goodness the weekend is here...

Only Those With a Strong Stomach Need Read...

2010-03-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

We spent the last weekend of Spring Break at Grandma's house, always a joy for me. I enjoyed the peace and quiet, but this was interrrupted by a minor 'crisis'. I ran to the store to grab a few items, and when I returned, I was met at the door by both The Boy and Little One. This is never a good sign. Little one immediately told me that "something really bad" had happened, while The Boy stood by with a helpless look on his face. I was led to the back bathroom which they share, only to discover that the toilet had over-flowed. Now, this really doesn't describe the scene. When I say overflowed...I mean flooded the entire bathroom...

I'll admit my first reaction was not a good one, but in the end...this sort of thing is really nobody's fault, so I regained control. My first decision was what to "go in" with. I needed the sort of get up that you imagine people wearing into a nuclear plant...boots, space suit, bubble mask, etc. But these were not available...so I settled on high-heeled boots, gym shorts and grungy t-shirt. I sent The Boy away, knowing that the overwhelming mess and smell would only make him sick. But Little One stood by, waiting to help like a trooper. I waded over to the toilet, only to find that The Boy had made an effort to "plunge" with a broken plunger. I quickly sent Little One on a reconnaisence search for another plunger....and she found one. Next, I plunged for several minutes, and just when I was about to give up, I heard that lovely gulping sound....and thankfully, everything went down.

Next, I surveyed the area and charted my course. First I threw down several towels. This barely put a dent in things, but after Little One rolled them up and delivered them to the washer, things began to improve. I sprayed the entire room with Lysol, and began the herculean task of wiping up. You know how when you see someone throw up, you feel like doing the same...well, now you know how I felt. But half an hour later, that bathroom was sparkling clean. Little One and I shook hands and admired our work. The Boy shook his head in disbelief...a miracle had occurred....

When we got home last night, The Boy went up for his shower. As The Husband and I were chatting in the den, we heard a strange sound in the kitchen. We sprinted in just in time to see a stream of water pouring from a light in the ceiling. The Poor Boy...he had once again inadvertently caused an issue. When I ran up and told him to turn off the water, he exclaimed "This was not my fault!" Well, of course not. These things happen....and usually in 3's....

So today, I am going to hold my breath and hope that the third thing was the smoke alarm battery dying at 4:00 this morning....

Until tomorrow....

Time to go Home

2010-03-12T07:24:00.000-08:00

It's always a little sad when leaving day arrives. Though it's been a wonderful week, it's hard not to feel that "just one more day' feeling this morning. It's lovely and sunny, and I can think of a million things I'd like to do...but it's time to go home.

Usually I dread the clean up/pack routine, but I don't know if it was the lack of pets or what...but there doesn't seem to be much to clean. The Boy never even pulled his sheets back all week...just slept on top. Little One was her usual neat self...even The Husband kept the clutter to a minimum. As far as packing goes, there is always the fact that I didn't get to bring a suitcase that makes packing a bit easier...

I cannot figure out why I didn't get more reading accomplished this time. I brought 5 new books, yet I barely finished one. I did do a lot of thinking and a little working out. I also made my way through several magazines...but still, I figured I'd get through 2 or 3. The book I finished was entitled "The Happiness Project"....a very interesting read. The author undertook a year's project of figuring out how to be a happier person...not because she was depressed or anything...but as a wife and mother of 2 and a full-time writer, she felt herself spending too much time in 'mean and unsatisfied' mode. The book is an exploration into how she managed to change her attitudes and actions. It was very interesting...with some very worthwhile assignments. I'll be trying out my own version of the 'Happiness Project" in weeks to come...

So until tomorrow, when we will be home, and Spring Break is officially over...

On Figuring Out the Blog...

2010-03-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

As hoped, the beach has given me time to figure out what to do about the blog. Or maybe it was my best friend, who said to me "It doesn't have to be all black and white." She's right. I forget that sometimes. There can be some gray area in life, although that is dificult for someone like me who grew up with lots of black and white. Anyway, enough of the analogies...

The blog will continue, but instead of the normal 23 minutes a day devoted to it, I will now set the egg timer for 15 minutes. The other 8 minutes will be spent on a new blog totally devoted to fashion. Don't worry. Only those whose heart skipped a beat at that news will be exposed to it. In fact, they are already receiving it. Those of you who skip the blog when the title has anything like "fashion" in it can now rest easy. I will no longer bore you with this. This truly excites me because I am always hesitant to write about it, dreading the comments that inevitably come...Now I can be free to research and write about what I truly love in the new one...yet continue this one also.

The continuation of this blog will also be less pressure, because as stated last week, I have completed the year worth of blogging. I will be editing that year and turning it into a best-selling book entitled "My Year in the Blog". Look for it on your bookstore shelves in, oh, say a couple of years. When I go back and read the beginning of the blog, I see that I really did not find my true "voice" for several weeks. Therefore, there is much editing to be done. I'm considering doing my own illustrations too, which may tag on another year's worth of work.

For those of you who are reading the fashion blog (http://www.robyn-lafemmechic.blogspot.com), please be patient. It will take me awhile to find the right balance of information and opinion. This may take time....

So until tomorrow, because the timer has just gone off, and I need to get out on the beach...

It's a Boy!

2010-03-10T12:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, quite honestly, it is harder to blog when things are going well. The Big News of the day is that Big Sis is having a....BOY! Congrats to the SIL who has already planned his sports career. I will be calling him Riley regardless of what name they choose....I will, of course, do this in private.

Had a lovely walk on the beach this morning with The Husband while The Boy and Little One slept. We had about 5 minutes of meaningful conversation before his work calls began, which actually worked out fine, since I was in quiet mode.

Unfortunately, the family in the condo below us who pays for wifi has left...so we were stuck without internet today. This became good news for me when The Husband said we would be going to the bookstore. I never mind that trip. Little One immediately planned her stuffed animal of choice....and The Boy was happy to know that he would have uninterrupted facebook and MLB draft time. Since there is a Target next door, Little One and I had to once again see if they had any different stuff...which they did. The Husband could not say anything since he and The Boy were loaded down with baseball cards. Little One and I spent a good hour coming up with names for the new stuffed doggie. 75% of her stuffed animals are named 'Butterscotch' or "Amy'...so i always lobby for something different. Today I won, and we agreed upon 'Caramel'.

We did come up with tentative summer plans. I once again asked for Paris, and Little One agreed. The guys vetoed it once again, so Little One and I will plan this trip on our own. We'll see if Big Sis, Senior and Niece want to come. Instead, it was decided that we will do Texas this year. The Husband loves Austin, and he even owns some land somewhere around there. This sounds good to me, especially since we will probably hit a Texas Rangers game. I love to plan trips, so this gives me something to look forward to. I believe I heard the word "fly" too, which means I will at least get a carry-on bag....

So until tomorrow, with a few more days of sunshine and beach to come....

This and That at the Beach...

2010-03-09T06:53:00.001-08:00

Poor Little One. She woke up in the night not feeling well. I'm not sure if it is some kind of stomach bug, or the over-abundance of beef jerky that she consumed yesterday. All I know is, she looks exhausted and has nothing left in her stomach...

Big Sis and SIL have to go home today. Tomorrow is the big day...they will find out Boy or Girl. We are all kind of betting Girl...but this is based on very little anything. Big Sis is still in the stage where something sounds good, but as soon as she starts to eat it, it doesn't anymore. ( She promises this has nothing to do with my cooking...)

Yesterday, we split up into Boy/Girl activities. We girls went to get our nails done, and the boys went to the ball field. After our nails were dry, Big Sis, Little One and myself scooted over to Target, because you know, it is always imperative to see if this Target has the same stuff as the one at home. We roamed the aisles for awhile, and suddenly my phone rang. It was The Husband. "We're at Target. Do you need anything?" .......Suddenly I heard The Boy. I looked up and saw them over at the register. Now, here is one of the mysteries on life. Their cart was full of baseball cards, video games and cokes. Our cart was full of costume jewelry, sunglasses and lip gloss...

I've been poking fun at The Husbnad the last few days, so today, I am going to thank him for something. Sound the trumpets...Last night, I put in my new video called "The September Issue". This is sort of a documentary on the workings of Vogue magazine. If you saw 'The Devil Wears Prada', , well, this is the real life version, concentrating on the life of Anna Wintour, the editor. I have been looking forward to watching it all week. Now Big Sis and SIL tried to watch it, but unfortunately, their PBS show 'Kel On Earth" was on. (Ok, not a PBS show). The Boy asked about 3 questions about it, but when he realized there was no violence, he grabbed his DS and left the room. Little One watched for 30 seconds and then went to watch Hannah Montanna. But The Husband...he not only watched it, but he listened to my running narrative, asked questions...and pretended to care. This totally forgives the lack of suitcase space and the 'No offense" comment. I really enjoyed it....and I appreciated the effort....

So today, I'm sorry to see Big Sis go, but excited to hear her news. It's another beautiful day here at the beach. I have a lot to be thankful for...

On 'No Offense' and Other Sweet Phrases....

2010-03-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

I am not a fabulous cook. This is a well-established fact in my family. I am really not even defensive about it. I do the best I can given the little time and lack of talent I posses in this area. Between work, school, sports practices, dance classes...and the fact that The Husband just plain likes to eat out...I think I do ok. I have a few no-fail meals that always make everyone happy, and in the last few years, my holiday meals, taken directly from food Network recipes, have been big hits. Even Big Sis said " I have recently begun to enjoy your meals".....Wow, thanks for that...

Now given this preface, let me also say that the last few years, whenever we go to the beach. I bring some new recipes along and try to be creative. Last year, I made delicious meatball sandwiches for New Years. They were such a big hit that The Husband copied them at Thanksgiving and overshadowed my sub-par turkey. I also tackled a new chicken dish over the summer which met with approval. This trip, I decided to bring along the recipe for Applebee's baby back ribs. The Boy loves these and I thought I would surprise him. The first morning here, I was making a grocery list for The Husband. As I was explaining my list to him, he said..in front of everyone...."No offense Hon, but let's don't get too ambitious". This was of course done with a wink to the SIL, who made a valiant effort not to double over in laughter, but failed. Now here is my problem with that statement:

Never start a sentence with "No Offense, but".......It does not soften the blow one single bit. It only says "Get ready to be insulted." It means that you know what you are about to say is mean, so you are going to make a pathetic attempt to somehow sound like it pains you to have to say it.

Last night during the Oscars, Big Sis and I were discussing the possibility of me dying my hair a shade of red, a la Julianne Moore. Forgetting who she was dealing with, Big Sis said to The Husband "Hey, don't you think mom's hair would be pretty that color of red?" Well come on. We all knew what was coming. He looked up from his computer screen and glanced at the TV and then at me...he then paused and waited for a particular poorly groomed man to appear, and he replied "It would look as good as me doing my hair like that." The he looked at me and said "No offense, Hon".

The Husband uses this phrase often. He feels it allows him to say anything. It is like my mom felt about the phrase "Bless her heart". This was her catch all phrase for "She looks terrible, but I'll just tag on 'bless her heart' so it doesn't sound so mean." The Boy has taken to using it, too. But he uses it a little differently. He tags it on to the end of a disrespectful comment that he feels sure has cost him some bedtime. Something like "That just sucks Mom!....No offense". I blame The Husband for role modeling this behavior.

I believe there are no magic erasers in speech. You can't say something mean and then say "Just kidding". The damage is done. So for the remainder of this trip, we will be eating out. Since I was not allowed to bring a suitcase of clothes, I have nothing appropriate for anything nicer than 'WhatABurger'. This suits The Husband and The Boy just fine....In fact, it may have been the plan....

No offense....

And the Oscar Goes To....

2010-03-08T07:29:00.000-08:00

We weren't going to watch the Oscars last night. Everyone was doing their own thing. The Husband and The Boy were watching a basketball game. Big Sis and Little One were watching a dancing show. SIL was doing homework. I was in the workout room pretending to workout, but actually just staring at the ocean. But by 11:00 last night, we were all piled on the bed in our bedroom watching and commenting. This is especially humorous with The Husband and SIL throwing their sarcastic comments back and forth...sprinkled with a few random observations from The Boy.

Anyway, a few quick thoughts:

1) Loved Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin co-hosting. The shot of them backstage in the double snuggie was hilarious.

2) The pre-show Red Carpet talk with Ryan Seacrest was mind-numbing. I love to see the dresses, but Ryan needs to 'take it down a notch'.

3) We all cheered when Sandra Bullock won. Loved her in the Blind Side and The Proposal. She looked absolutely gorgeous. We also thought her acceptance speech was sincere.

4) You know I have to comment on the best dresses. I LOVED Sarah Jessica Parker's gown. I felt it was the most fashion-worthy. The Husband said she looked like the Statue of Liberty. Big Sis hated the dress but could "see you wearing it".....wasn't quite sure how to take that, but chose to take it as a compliment.

I didn't love the Chanel that Charlize Theron wore. I thought the strategically-placed flowers were odd. But she is still a lovely woman. Big Sis loved Maggie Gyllenhal's dress, and I agreed...she looked very fresh and pretty. I felt Meryl Streep's gown was too matronly. Last year, she looked 10 years younger. Helen Miren continues to make 60-something look sexy. Michell Pfieffer looked exquisite. She continues to be the "hope" for anyone who is trying to age naturally. I thought her red dress was elegant, yet sexy. I hated Barbara Stiesand's look. She normally wears some sort of drapey Donna Karan that flatters, but I just didn't care for this one.

5) Now for the men.....Ryan Reynolds looked handsome, as usual. George Clooney needed a haircut. (Would it sound really awful to say that this aging bachelor look of interchangeable beautiful dates by his side is getting old? I'm starting to feel sad for him.) Colin Firth is so adorable, but I thought he needed a haircut , too. Colin Ferrel looked sober and handsome. Jeff Bridges looked like Jeff Bridges. I used to have such a crush on him back in the 'Starman' and 'Mirror Has Two Faces' days. I was SO happy he won. He just oozes niceness.

6) The Boy uses two words to describe the gowns..."ooh lala", which means they are revealing....or "gross"...which I have yet to translate.

7) I was glad that 'Avatar' didn't win. I didn't see it, but I always root for the underdog...and i have never forgiven James Cameron for his corny yet arrogant proclamation of "I'm King of the World" when he won for "Titanic"........Is there any poetic license in the fact that his ex-wife won for Best Picture?

All and all a nice evening. Not sure what's on TV tonight...too bad 'The Bachelor" is over..I''m sure The Husband and the SIL would have had some choice comments...

So until tomorrow, when the subject will be how The Husband needs to learn that if he starts a sentence with "No offense, but...", it probably doesn't need to be said.....

On Figuring Out What We Are Taking to the Beach

2010-03-05T18:39:00.000-08:00

The beach departure has been delayed a day for many reasons. Between work, baseball and play rehearsal, it just made more sense to wait until tomorrow. I think I actually relaxed a bit upon hearing this news. I wasn't totally packed, and this allowed me to take my time.

The Husband came through this morning and switched keys with me. He said he needed to take my car. When I asked him why, he pretended not to hear me. When pressed, he said "I need to see if something will fit in it." Uh oh. If you happen to read about the last beach trip over the holidays, you'll understand why my stomach flip-flopped a bit. I chose, however, not to pursue the subject. Sometimes I find with The Husband that less knowledge is the way to go...

I chose to focus on the good news. We aren't taking the big white moving truck. This means I can actually drive at the beach. This means whenever we go out to eat, we don't have to park diagonally in the back of every parking lot. This means restaurants do not have to be chosen according to the size of their parking lot....Very exciting...

The Boy has done his packing. This means he has his psp, his wii and his computer. Not one thought given to clothes or anything else. The orange gym shorts and gray t-shirt he is wearing tonight will be worn day and night for the next 7 days unless I step in. Little One has also accomplished her packing. She did throw in some clothes...but you know, there is not much room left after you first pack 27 of your favorite stuffed animals...

The Husband left his packing up to me. This makes me nervous since I normally forget something...When I finally got around to pulling out my suitcase, the Husband asked if I really needed one that big? This once again made my stomach flip-flop. Why on earth would it matter if I take a big suitcase?....We aren't taking animals or tile or extra workers...or any of the other things he has slipped in on previous trips. He promised...just us. So I stood my ground and packed my bag.

The weather is probably not going to be good for lying on the beach or sunning on the balcony...but I don't care. I packed like it was. After all the winter weather the last few weeks. I need to at least act like it will be warm. Of course, in addition to the bathing suit and t-shirts, I did stick in my boots and winter coat. Might as well cover all of my bases.

When I heard The Husband pull in this evening, I debated on whether or not I should go look in my car. After all, it was out of my control. Why spoil a perfectly good evening? Why not wait until morning? Why...because I had to know. I walked out into the garage and looked in my car....And there it was...the whole trunk was filled with a gigantic ottoman. Evidently it needed to go in one of the rental units. None of the suitcases were even in the car, and it was already full. "It'll all fit" he said as I stared......And listen, I have no doubt that he will make it all fit. We will be packed tighter than a can of sardines, but it will all fit....The good news is, I doubt the ottoman is heavy enough to cause the tires to blow....

So off we go tomorrow. I am hoping for a peaceful and restful trip, but I don't quite believe it. I'll keep you posted...

On Saying What You Mean, and Meaning What You Say...

2010-03-04T06:46:00.002-08:00

I was watching one of my favorite shows, 'The Good Wife", the other night, and I was struck by one of the lines. "Complicated relationships are breeding grounds for miscommunication." I repeated this line over and over to myself a few times, and then I pulled out my notebook where I write down things that I want to remember and scribbled it down. I wasn't sure why it felt so relevant to me, but something about it registered.

I think I am an honest person. I consider the truth a necesssity and constantly repeat this to my kids. Few things will upset me more than being lied to. I find myself sometimes sighing in response to something someone says, not really wanting to be honest...but I think that I usually am. The problem is, I am a people-pleaser. I detest that part of my personality. Maybe it stems from being the middle child, but I hate confrontation. It literally makes me sick. But this is a problem when you also value the truth, because sometimes the truth takes a fight.

The Husband is painfully blunt. There is no skirting an issue, no softening the blow...he shoots from the hip and makes the point. This was a trait I valued when I first met him. There is a comfort in always knowing where you stand with someone. But therein lies the complication...if someone is brutally honest...someone else can be brutally hurt. At the end of the day, I suppose honesty overrules tact, if one is forced to choose....but finding the fine line between honest and hurtful can be a tough call.

I hate for people to be hurt. When I was growing up, if I sensed an argument arising in the household, I sprung into action. It was my responsibility to fix anything. My mom was a General of sorts...she never met an opinion she didn't have. This was somehow painful to me sometimes. I felt it was my responsibilty to defend whatever or whomever she was criticizing. It is amazing how much this colored my personality. The Husband would probably label this as my most annoying habit. The necessity to defend whomever or whatever at any given time...even if I don't really believe it. It is a shotgun reaction....

I have a small group of friends with whom I feel comfortable 'letting things fly'. If I try to pinpoint what allows this, I can come up with a few reasons. Time and history are probably the first. I suppose because trust takes time to build....it takes me a minimum of a year or two to begin to feel a comfort level with people. If I reveal something to you...and you hold it and value it....then I can move forward. I don't consider this a right or wrong thing. I think it must be very freeing to be a person who totally opens themselves up to people immediately. It takes a certain self-comfort to be able to do that.

If bluntness is a complication...then it is exacerbated by e-mail or texting. They are such odd forms of communication. You talk with someone without seeing them...without gauging their reaction...without seeing their face or body language. I can be very flippant in an e-mail. I can also be very brave. When you know you can say something without immediate response, it somehow emboldens you. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. And it works both ways, doesn't it? Have you ever read an e-mail and been totally hurt or insulted...only to find out later that it was meant in another way...that you misread the tone? Do you ever go back and read something you wrote and cringe? Maybe that is just a function of being overly self-edited.

The blog is an interesting way of expressing myself. The Husband has pointed out the irony of being a private person, yet giving daily details of my life. But the fact is, when I write, I am talking to myself. I don't see the reader. And most of the readers are strangers to me. I won't have to face them tomorrow or explain myself, unless I want to. For those readers who know me and read it, I guess I figure that the blog is somehow sacred. You know, just because I write about it doesn't mean it is open for discussion....

Complicated relationships are just that....complicated. And if you have children, you are always self-editing and self-monitoring...because your relationships are the models for their relationships. It takes a real effort to say what you mean, AND mean what you say.....

So until tomorrow, when I may read this back and wonder...The beauty of the blog is that there is always the delete button...

Spring Break

2010-03-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe Spring Break is almost here. Yesterday it snowed and today there was still ice. I'm thankful to be heading to the beach this weekend. The weather may not be warm, but I am determined to lie on the beach and read. I may have to wear sweats over my bathing suit, but that's fine with me. I'm armed with several new books and magazines which I have hidden from myself so that there is no temptation to start them before we leave.

The Husband has promised me a peaceful trip. No flat tires, no white trucks, no sick animals....I believe that was the doctor's prescription. Of course the full prescription was a solo trip to Maui, but that will have to wait. As usual, despite my best intentions, no packing has been done. Well, I take that back. I've done 'mental packing', which means I have visualized what I want to bring...but no suitcases have been retrieved and no clothes have been laid out. No matter how many times I tell myself that I will do a little each day...this never seems to happen. So tomorrow will have to be devoted to preparations. Newspapers have to stopped, cats have to be boarded, clothes have to be washed.....Vacation can be a lot of work....

The kids view Spring Break as a break from early-rising and homework (so do I). They love the easy ebb and flow of our days at the beach. They also look forward to spending time with Big Sis and the BIL who will be with us for a few days. This seemed to deter their constant requests for bringing friends along. This means the Big Sis will spend a lot of time in the pool with Little One and the BIL will be playing the Wii...a lot...

The favorite restaurant at the beach is now closed...as is the favorite place to shop, so this trip will have to be a sort of "start over" of sorts. New favorites will have to be found. It's the story of life isn't it?...closings and openings, beginnings and endings...which leads me to say that...

This week I will examine the relevance of the blog. It has actually gone on past it's expiration date. The question is, does it still have a shelf-life? I could go on with these metaphors all day long, but in the end, I have to determine if the 23 minutes a day dedicated to this 'diary' is still worth it. Last year during a writers conference, it was suggested to me by a respected editor that I should blog for a year, edit it, and then turn it in to a book. So here I am a year later...I have the material, I'm ready to edit. But the thought of giving it up completely is disconcerting. I have a group of cyber-friends that I depend on for daily ego-feedback. I have a small group of family and friends who enjoy the updates. There are days that I feel I have nothing left to say...but there are also days that I can't wait to get something down in writing. When you write an article for a paper or magazine...there are so many constraints. Here, there are very few....

So sometime during vacation, I will decide whether this "New Year" of sorts should be a rebirth of something new, a continuation of the same...or an ending...

Until tomorrow....

In Defense of the Spring Fashion Shows from a Non-New Yorker

2010-03-02T05:55:00.000-08:00

As we all keep our fingers crossed, hoping that the slight bit of upturn in the economy is the true light at the end of the tunnel, it is interesting to review the shows from New York fashion week. This time last year, many designers chose not to show, feeling like it was somehow un-chic and irrelevant to show an interest in fashion while people were losing their houses. Hermes and Tiffany's actually had customers requesting brown bags for their purchases instead of the customary blue and orange gift boxes that were normally carried with a sense of show and pride.

While there might be a bit of validity to this point, the fact is, fashion has always gotten a bad rap. The New York shows always garner a bit of head-shaking from the rest of the country this time of year, with many questioning how the over-the-top designs and prices really factor into the life of the average person. If you saw the movie 'The Devil Wears Prada', you'll remember that Meryl Streep's character Miranda (based on the real-life Vogue editor Anna Wintour) gave a scathing explanation of this to her new and skeptical assistant. The explanation was based on the trickle-down theory...that what you saw the last few weeks at the fashion shows in New York will eventually end up in some translated or watered-down version in your local mall.

For those of us who enjoy fashion and live outside of New York, there is always some editing and play-down that goes on. Let's face it, most people consider it somehow shallow and silly to put so much emphasis on what one wears. But the fact is, fashion, like sports or art....or any hobby, is just an interest. It isn't a reflection of over-spending, because the most fashionable people are able to accomplish this with very little. It is more matter of smart editing and a little research...So with that being said, to those of you who live it and breath it....who feel your heart skip a beat when you see the new Vogue in your mailbox...here we go....

This year, the designers have returned to their roots. Last year's attempt to play down anything expensive and luxurious has passed. The focus on timelessness and quality was emphasized at most shows. At Dolce & Gabbana, the backdrop to the runway show was a film highlighting the seamstresses and tailors who labored over the clothing at the Milan showroom, a subtle reminder that quality takes effort...and high prices come with a reason.

From Marni to Bottega Veneta to Fendi, there was restraint, but also luxury. Italian houses Cavalli and Ferragamo, boosted by double-digit growth in their stores in the first two months of the year, didn't play down anything, choosing instead to work with high-end mix materials like leather and fur.

Glenda Bailey, Editor-in-Chief for Bazaar magazine, once again gave her Top 5 trends to Saks customers, continuing the savy practice of telling the consumer what is "in", while at the same time giving them the opportunity to 'shop it' immediately. The following are her observations:

1) There is a new romanticism this year...lace, ruffles and pearls. This one is already trickling down...from ruffled trenches and cardigans at JCrew...to faux pearls everywhere. Soft florals showed up at Diane Von Furstenberg's show, instead of her normal geometrics.
For those of us who aren't ruffle-prone, tread carefully here....a few ruffles go a long way...

2) Soft tailoring. Feminine tailoring. My favorite example of this is the drop-dead gorgeous Donna Karan gray 'suit' that you see in an advertisement on the back of every fashion magazine right now. The skirt is a pencil, but with a soft flow and movement. The jacket is brilliant, softly tailored with a tie....this is the opposite of the "power suit". This is the pretty, chic suit, and I absolutely love the soft gray....I hope to see this color trickle down....

3) Lots of color, from bolds to pastels.....I'm hesitant on this one, but this is totally personal. My closet is full of neutrals and black and white. My 'bold' colors tend toward gray, beige...with a bit of turquoise thrown in. But it is always nice to see color in the stores this time of year...

4) New Decoration.....Feathers, sequins, and shimmer. This one has already trickled down....Robert Cavalli, Marc Jacobs and Balmain were a few of the designers to do it on the runway....JCrew ran with it by creating sequinned tanks, dresses and skirts. I love a bit of it...but a little goes a very long way. Sequin head-to-toe never works.

5) Prints. Ok, so far, I haven't noticed major trickle down on this. A few printed shirts at JCrew...a few printed dresses here and there...but stay tuned...

I think the last year has done the opposite of what one might have expected. Instead of highlighting the inexpensive, cheaper offerings like H&M or Target...we seemed to have been reminded that the smarter move is to save...and save...and then splurge. A cashmere sweater might cost 3 times what one could pay for the trendier item...but it will still be in our closet 5 years from now. The knock-off designer lines at Target and H&M, while interesting and reasonably-priced, turned out to be a little disappointing, proving once again that there are no substitutes for well-cut clothes made from quality fabrics. It may look cute on the hanger...but once you try it on, it disappoints. And after one cleaning.....

In the end, fashion is always highly personal, based on taste and preference... and edited by price tag and boldness. For those of us who enjoy it, we read about it and then we try what we like. And it is always...whether you want to admit it or not...a way of expressing ourselves. And in these difficult times, it always brings a smile to my face to see a child in Haiti with a lavender bandanna tied around her head and earrings dangling, because this may not be a 'runway look'...but this is what makes us different and unique....

So until tomorrow, when it looks like the snow, and not the runway, will dictate what I will be wearing....

Now I Need You. Now I Don't....

2010-03-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

In answer to all of the questions I got all weekend long about The Boy's middle school dance...no drama. I know, very disappointing. A bit of a let-down. I suppose after the first one, the bloom is off the rose, as it were. The Husband did the big "pick up" Friday night. I decided this might be a little "cooler" for The Boy since The Husband does not ask probing questions about the dance...he just makes inappropriate jokes which later reveal themselves in inappropriate circumstances. Anyway, a friend was getting a ride home with The Boy, and rather than subject them to mom's 20 questions, I was proud of myself for handing over this duty.

As I heard him come though the door, I ran with my camera, hoping to get a few shots since he had not been in the mood for it before he left. "No Mom!" he huffed at me. But then, a small smile appeared, and I took my opportunity. He refused to smile (so not cool), but I got my picture. I started in with the questions, but it was obvious he was tired and anxious to get this over with. "The girl's wore high-heeled shoes and I danced with .......(insert the name of 6 girls)." Then he pulled out his computer and logged on to his fantasy baseball draft. I looked at The Husband, who had also logged on to this draft...and he shrugged his shoulders. "Not much to tell." That was it? I waited all night for that? "I'm tired, mom." Well ok, it had been a busy week. basketball tournament, baseball practice every day, several exams...I guess he had the right to be tired. So I hushed, because I remember not wanting to play the 20 question game with my mom either. Sometimes you're tired...or sometimes it is just nobody's business...either way, I felt a little of a let down...

Little one was ready to take up the slack. She had been researching dogs all night long and had narrowed down her favorites to around 894...and she NEEDED me to take a look at all of them...

I guess this is how it goes. You get older, and you need mom a little less and less. I have been down this road a few times before, but it is different with girls. They still wanted to talk....and talk,,,,and talk......I guess I just thought I would have a little longer with The Boy...

The next morning, he woke up early to get ready for a baseball game. I was on my way out the door. "You'll be at the game, right mom?" I nodded. "Good". ..............Ok, I can deal with that. I'm not one for a lot of conversation anyway. Just a little hint every now and then that I'm still needed...

Sunday was the Tike's big birthday bash. 4 years old. He was adorable, precious...and well-behaved. Enough to make a Noni really, really proud. As I started to leave the party, he grabbed my leg and whispered "NOOO. You can't go yet! I need you to stay!".............Through teary eyes, I agreed to hang and play play dough a bit longer. The cycle of life, I suppose...one needs you less, and one needs you more.....

So until tomorrow, when only those with an obsessive love of fashion need bother. Tomorrow's blog will be a rough draft for a fashion article...so for many of you...see you Wednesday....

On the Pre-Middle School Dance Preparations...

2010-02-26T15:40:00.002-08:00

The note came home a few weeks ago. The middle school dance would require a coat and tie this time. Now, as much as The Boy had enjoyed the last dance...he balked at this. And besides, he and dad had tickets that night for his beloved Atlanta Hawks game. He was torn. I actually could have gone either way on this one, since I seem to be having trouble letting go lately...However, The Husband's 2 cents was that he should go to the dance. He left it up to The Boy, who said he would "let us know".

A few days ago, The Husband pressed for an answer. The Boy still waivered. The deep, dark answer seemed to be hidden at school somewhere because he kept saying he would find out at school. No, it wasn't date based. No "dates" allowed. Finally, he climbed in the car after baseball practice one day and said weakly "I guess I'll go to the dance."

Ok, since he did not have a jacket, The Husband suggested he wear one of his. Knowing better than to argue, I just went and retrieved one of his jackets and put it on The Boy. He is a big kid...but not that big. The next day, I set out to find a jacket. The Boy is in that 'tween' stage...so this wasn't easy. He has a school trip to Washington DC coming up in a couple of months, so I needed something appropriate for that, too. I finally found a beautiful Calvin Klein jacket and a very cool shirt to go with it. When The Boy came in that night, I had him try it on for dad. The Husband thought it might be a bit snug. I disagreed...I like that sleek, fitted look. The Boy had no opinion...he was watching a game. When The Husband heard the sale price for the jacket, he suddenly felt the fit was just fine.

Today, The Boy came in tired and grumpy from baseball practice. His braces were killing him due to yesterday's adjustment. His MLB fantasy baseball draft was due to take place in minutes. He was hedging again....did he HAVE to go to the dance , he asked? Well, it was up to me. The Husband was not around to say "Of course." ....Now it was my turn to be torn. I could let him stay home....and we could draft our teams and watch the Hawks play on tv. He would have jumped at that. But I reminded myself to do the right thing. Sometimes you have to give a little push. I sent him up for his shower and laid out his clothes......And then I saw it....the security thingy was still on the shirt! How could I have not checked that? Oh no. The wonderful GQ look was down the tubes. When The Boy came in, I apologized...he looked at me with glazed eyes. "Can't you just pick another?" ....Well, of course I could. And I did. And he looked so handsome. The Husband wasn't home to tie the tie, but The Boy wasn't fazed. He would recruit a chaperone at the dance to do the honors.

A few minutes later, his ride was here. I had reluctantly agreed to let him ride with a friend. The mom knocked on the door and he was off. I just couldn't help it...."Can I get a hug?"....He strolled back over and gave me a bear hug and whispered "Love you mom"......Once again I said my little prayer..."Please let him do that just a little longer..."

We get to do the pick up tonight....I hope he has fun...Until tomorrow....

On De-coding the Family.....

2010-02-23T04:59:00.001-08:00

You know those days as a mom when you fall into martyrdom? When nobody seems to do things the way you want them done? Of course, that is the key in itself, the arrogance of thinking that everything has to be done your way. On the other hand, as a mom, you're pretty sure your way is the right way, so you feel entitled to moan about it when it is not done your way.

I have fallen into this line of thinking lately, having been sidelined due to health issues. Strict orders from the doctor not to do certain things has meant a little reassigning of duties in our household, and after a bit of turmoil about this last night, I feel it is my duty to construct a "key" in case someone ever has to step in and take my place. This may seem a bit precipitous, but you never know....and there are things that must be understood in our household.....The following can be considered the "code"....

The BOY:

1) Have you done your homework? This question must be asked in every possible way to extract every possible answer. You must list every subject. You must ask if it is complete. You must ask when it is due. This may take several minutes.
2) Is your bag packed for baseball practice? Again...not as simple as it sounds. You must go through each item...Pants, jersey, cap...and of course, the ever challenging question of is it actually in the bag? or is it spread out over your floor...those little details...
3) Have you made your bed? This is an easy one.."yes" only ever means that the comforter and pillow are actually on the bed.
4) Have you been on your computer? This one is extremely multi-faceted. He will come back with "when?"...."who, me?"...."My friends are on all the time".....you must push on....

Little One:

1)Are you wearing your hearing aids?...This must be very specific..'.yes' can mean they are in the bookbag...or 'yes' can mean "I had them in yesterday"....
2) How did you do on that test?.....This will be met with "What test?"...."I did fine"...and finally, "Are you gonna be mad?"
3) Please put on something nice.....This is the tricky one. You will be confused when she comes down the stairs in baggy gym shorts and dirty t-shirt. Don't be. You will send her back up at a minimum of 4 times. You will finally be happy with the turquoise jeans and the plaid shirt...this is the "compromise" outfit.
4) Don't be confused by the slamming down of the pop tart onto the plate in the morning. The translation is "You are a bad mom because you did not fix chocolate chip pancakes."

The Husband:

1) What is your schedule like?....Ok, if you have asked this over the phone, hold the phone away from your ear...for some reason, this question gets met with a lot of cursing...
2) Could you please take out the trash?.....Ok, if you are asking in person, leave the room. This gets met with a lot of cursing.....oops, did I already say that?
3) Do you have any cash?......Ok, this one is very tricky. If you are on the way to the hospital for tests, he may give you some without asking...otherwise, be prepared for "What did you do with the cash I gave you last week?"...Of course, this will tick you off, so be prepared for the fall out. Better to just hit the bank....
4) Why did you take The BOY to Hooters?....This depends on which Hooters he has attended. The latest response was "everyone there was 65". Don't push it. You both know the truth. He just "likes the fried pickles"....(I never said I wasn't naive)

Addressing Big Sis and The Senior is impossible. These two have had years of practice in the art of avoidance. They are masters. Suffice it to say that "I'm spending the night with Liz" NEVER meant I'm spending the night with Liz.

Now, you the reader might ask what the key is to me? I would answer that this is my blog, and I can write what I want. But the following are a few hints:

Me:

1) Have you fixed dinner yet?.....The answer to this depends on whether or not I want to go out or not....pretty simple...
2) Is that new?...Please...any woman knows that there are many shades to the answer to this question. Out of the bag or box means not new. Out of the car means not new...If I've tried it on, it's not new....
3) Are you mad at me?....................I cannot even get into this one.
4)It is 10:00 at night and I just remembered I have a project to do. Can you help me?....ok, stand back and let me yell for several minutes, and we'll get to work.
5) Would you mind depositing these checks? ..............of course I mind, but I'll do it.

Ok, that's enough for today. You get the picture. I think I'll print this out and save it. If anything ever happens to me...this may be helpful....

So until tomorrow...back to fashion...

On Kind Words and Broken Hearts

2010-02-21T08:30:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned last week, I went in for a minor heart procedure on Thursday. Having been through these type of things over the last few years due to what The Husband calls a "bum heart", I usually take them in stride. But for some reason (possibly the thought of a tube being stuck up my major artery into my heart to take pictures), this one had me stressed out. But I had great faith in my doctor, and after trying to talk him out of it for a few days, I finally agreed. He claimed it was the only way to see if there was yet another problem with my heart. As I packed my bag Thursday morning, I was extremely nervous and emotional. The Husband, who generally avoids hospitals at all costs, had to take me and remain, due to the seriousness of the test. Now, this was adding to my stress, because I knew he dreaded it too. The Husband was not in the room for the birth of our children This was by mutual agreement. He didn't want to see it...and this was fine with me. So you can imagine how he felt about being part of this test. But he was very supportive, pointing out only 6 or 7 times how he had had to change his schedule around to accommodate me. ..

When we got to the hospital and were set up in a room, The Husband began to conduct business by phone, speaking so loudly that everyone on the floor could hear. This could have been embarrassing, but in my frame of mind, it actually made me laugh.

As discussed in previous blogs, I'm severely private. But I have to say, this was one time when I realized that support and love from friends and family was so helpful. One of my best friends, K, had said just the right thing for several days. The Niece had been her normal sweet self. Big Sis and The Senior had offered help and encouragement. Another friend had offered to pick up the kids if needed, which put my mind at ease. And an acquaintance from one of The Boy's baseball teams was a nurse in that unit, and she called the morning of the procedure to offer support. She was there when I got there, and she was helpful, supportive and kind to me all day, constantly checking to see if I needed anything. I was struck by how good it felt to have the support, instead of just "going it alone" as I usually try to do.

Every person that I came in contact with that day made the experience easier. From sweet Devon at check-in, to the funny tech who put in my IV's, to my nurse Treva who made me feel like I was her only patient. Even in the procedure room, everyone was kind. The young anesthesiologist was funny and sweet. He explained everything to me, sat with me while I was being prepped, offered to put on any music I wanted, and reminded me that once he gave me my "tequilla", I wouldn't care about anything. (He was right.) When my doctor came rushing in, his kind and comforting demeanor (plus the tequilla) made me relax. Once I was medicated, it was actually interesting to watch the procedure. Once he had inserted the tube up into my heart, a camera began taking pictures, and I could see my heart. The good news was...no blockage. The bad news (Always a little scary to hear "ok, there it is") was that I had what is nicknamed a "broken heart". As he finished up, he walked back and grabbed my hand, explaining that I had experienced a "faux heart attack", and that he would be able to give me medication to heal it. He added, with a wink, that I desperately needed a trip to Maui. I agreed, but maybe Paris instead...

The next 5 hours were spent flat on my back. In order to keep the artery from bleeding, you must remain still. This was not problem for me, as I am always thankful for any opportunity to sleep. The Husband stayed to make sure I was fine, and then took off to take care of the kids. I hadn't told them about the procedure, because they have inherited their mom's tendency to worry too much. Later in the day, the kids called to check in. I was so happy and thankful to hear their voices...and even happier to hear that I was allowed to go home later that night.

The morning of the procedure, Big Sis's friend A. posted on her facebook status that she was going to try and smile at everyone that day. Just random kindness. That night, I got to thinking about how much small acts of kindness mean in life. A kind word, a smile, a hug...you never know how much it might mean to someone. That day, every kind word and action that was directed my way was so special. It was the difference between a terrible day and a bearable day...

As for the procedure, it's very strange that I had been joking about loss and sadness being the cause of my heart problem...and in the end...that is probably not far from the truth...

So today, and this week, as I take it easy, I am so thankful for all of the kindness that has come my way over the last few days. From the encouraging words, to the flowers and cookies, to the help and love......Thank you.

On Teaching The Boy to Clean...

2010-02-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend at Grandma's, I decided on a new tactic. Instead of waiting until the last morning to clean, I would have The Boy and Little One help me a little each day. This would spare me that awful feeling of waking up the last morning with bags to pack and a house to clean. One of the lovely things about going to Grandma's is that it is always in order. I make sure when we leave that the next time we come, walking in will feel like walking into a hotel. In fact, sometimes I go there and just clean in between visits just so it keeps that "perfect" feel.

When I was working full-time outside the house, I use to have a wonderful housekeeper who kept our home spotless. Now that I am home, I feel that should be my responsibility. Therefore, our home is not spotless....more like "lived in". It is always clean, but with 2 active kids and a husband who loves to create his own little oasis on the couch at night (diet coke cans, pretzel boxes, socks, shoes, computer, newspapers....the list goes on and on)....it retains more of a "lived in" look.

Anyway, back to the story. When I told the kids my idea, there were collective sighs. Cleaning is not high on either of their lists. Little One is actually a stellar little worker, inheriting that gene from her Italian Grandma. Nobody could clean like Grandma. If I assign a task to Little One, and tell her it must be perfect...she is fully capable of doing it. Now...The Boy is another story. Let me say up front that he is not a slob. He is always clean himself, and he likes his surroundings to be clean...however, he likes his mom to do this for him. But if called on to make his bed, he can manage to make it look made (comforter pulled up to top..pillow flufffed). However, the bathroom is another story. I was determined to teach him how to do it. We started with the sink. I showed him how to spray the disinfectant around and wipe it out. His first problem was that he does most chores with one hand in his pocket. I explained this would be a "2 handed " chore. Next we moved on to the toilet. I showed him how it was done...and he shook his head violently. "I just can't do that". Fine, I called to Little One, who came running with her supplies and accomplished the task in a few minutes...giving The Boy her best "boy are you a loser" look. Finally, we did the bath tub, which did not seem to gross him out as much. I left him to do the floor himself after a brief explanation. I went to clean my own room, figuring I would have to come back and clean behind him. But when I returned...lo and behold....it was sparkling. There stood The Boy with a big grin on his face, proud of how clean that darn floor was. "Not bad" he said. Well, what do you know? I told him next week we would learn laundry. I tried to explain how these skills will be helpful in college. " I'll just live at home and let you do it" he replied. "Or get my girlfriend to do it" he grinned. Uh oh. College? Girlfriend? We were going down a road I wasn't ready for .....

As we prepared to leave Grandma's, I was happy that everything looked so good..and especially happy that it had been a joint effort...I even saw The Boy throw his clean clothes in a drawer...miracles do happen...

So until tomorrow, when I will need to make an effort to get this house in the same shape....

On Big Sis's Big News...

2010-02-14T08:36:00.000-08:00

I waited until today, Valentines day, to talk about some really happy news. Congratulations to the Big Sis and the SIL! They are going to have a little bundle of joy next fall. This will be the luckiest little bundle in the world, as he or she will be blessed with a wonderful mommy and a terrific daddy.

Big Sis has been waiting for me to blog about this for several weeks, but I was hesitant to shout the news too soon. First of all, I had to wait for her to tell her friends....and then I needed to wait for her "Face Book blast". This was a question we pondered for a few weeks. How early is to early to "blast"? For me, the incredibly private, semi-cautious, overly quiet mom...later was better than sooner. For the vivacious, bubbly, outgoing Big Sis...sooner was better than later.....but in this case, we both agreed that maybe waiting though 2 doctors appointments was a good idea. So last week, when the doctor listened to the the little heartbeat and announced everything A-OK...it seemed like it was time.

Big Sis has been spared the worst of the 'morning sickness" so far. Some evenings, it rears it's ugly head for a few hours...just enough to remind her that she is pregnant. But overall, she feels good. And she looks terrific.

Names have been discussed already. Little One seems to think this is her domain. She feels the right to veto any name that she doesn't like...or even those that seem "weird". Last night, she vetoed one name because she said it sounded like "underpants". Now if you read this blog, you know Little One has hearing issues, but there is no way this particular name sounded anything like "underpants". Upon further discussion, she noted the it just sounded like a "geeky" name. Ok, that's better.

The Boy usually greets these type of announcements with caution...as if they are going to somehow impact his life in a negative way. But this time he was excited, only adding that he really "needs it to be a boy".

I'm happy to become a Noni for the second time. The first time, when The Senior became pregnant...you will understand why there was worry and pause. Would she be ok? Would the partnership last? Would she finish college? In other words, the first 50 questions had nothing to do with joy or excitement. But those are the times when we are reminded that God knows the plan, and we don't. The Senior has been a wonderful mommy. The partnership didn't become a marriage, but it stayed a co-parenting friendship. She will graduate this spring... And best of all, we were blessed with the Terrific Tyke, who has brought so much joy to all of our lives....

So today, on this lovely Valentines Day, I am thankful for all of the love in my life, and for all the love that is to come this fall. I can't imagine anything more wonderful than a baby Big Sis or a baby SIL...

On Matters of the Heart...

2010-02-12T09:57:00.000-08:00

I love Valentines Day. It has always been one of my favorite days. I don't know why. My mom never even recognized the day. I don't think my dad ever even bought my mom a card one time. But each year, when the pink and red heart day comes around, I am filled with excitement. Even the years when I was alone, ie, without a significant other, I still enjoyed the cards and candy. I always made my own valentines, which was probably more to do with lack of money early on, but later, just out of enjoyment.

My first Valentines Day with The Husband came early. We had only been dating about 2 weeks. I didn't expect anything from him...though I did get him a card. Imagine my joy and surprise when I climbed in my car after work to find a cute little bear with a heart that said 'I love you'. Now there was no card with it, so I guess it could have been from someone else. But knowing The Husband, I knew this was his discreet way of being sweet. Being co-workers, it was important to keep our relationship out of work. The Husband had told me that there was a loop-hole that made our dating "ok"...we actually worked for different companies...but still, we had agreed to keep it quiet. (I also did not know at the time that The Husband still had a 'semi-girlfriend' who probably would not have appreciated him giving me a Valentines gift. This information would cause a short "break" in the following weeks...) Anyway, The Husband has continued to give me wonderful Valentine Days over the years. No matter what he does, it is always thought out and loving.

This year, there is some irony about heart day. Over the last few years, my heart has decided to "break" a bit, both physically and emotionally. A particular abnormality shows itself, and I am forced to go through a series of humiliating tests in order to show my doctor that the complication of the abnormality, "imminent death"...is not , in fact, imminent. However, in my own mind, and denial, I have linked these periods to emotional heartache. I read an article the other day about how doctors have come to acknowledge that a heart can truly "break" due to sadness. I convince myself from time to time that it is the amount of loss I have experienced over the last few years that has cause my heart to complain. This last "episode" I tell myself, could well be due to The Dog passing. Anyway, next week, my doctor will knock me out so that he can go in and take a peek at my broken heart. Just the thought of this makes me feel like fainting...even more than usual. But the upside is that knowing what you are dealing with is always better than not knowing. So I will depend on my brain, and not my heart, to carry me through this little ordeal...

So today, I will look forward to Valentines Day. I had been content to just be at Grandma's house for the Big Day. But The Husband instructed me to pack the big bag that was hidden in his closet...and not look inside. So the day may be even better than I thought....

Until tomorrow...

On Snowless Snow days....

2010-02-12T09:35:00.000-08:00

A stroke of luck. The kids are off of school today. Snow is threatened, but not here. Unfortunately, I did not know this until I sat in the school line (by myself) for awhile this morning. I listen to the national news in the morning, not the local news, so it never occurred to me that were closed. As we sat in line, The Boy began to realize that there was no school. His sense of joy and happiness was only slightly marred by the fact that he had the only mom who did not have the info. As always, he was kind, if annoyed. Because you know, he could still be in bed. Little One on the other hand, is always ready to let me know that I am always out of 'the know".....

Anyway, the good news is that the weekend at Grandma's house became a bit longer. We ran home and packed up for the long weekend. The Husband kindly ran to the house before work to turn on the heat and hot water (and whatever else he has turned off...). Now, even though we will only be there a few days, my car looked like it was packed for the beach. I have no idea why. I was highly edited in my packing....but when snow is threatened, games, movies and books must be brought along.....The kids were actually excited, which I did not expect, because they are at the age when friends trump weekends with the family. But for some reason, they were up for it. We threw the cats in the car, crossed our fingers, and headed out.

As usual, stepping in Grandma's house is a lovely feeling. No chores, no stress....This is definitely my Valentines day gift...The Husband is off the hook for anything. I brought several books that I want to read, and Little One and I headed to Blockbuster, where she picked up several movies she has been wanting to see. I grabbed a couple of french movies that I have been dying to see. The Boy brought along his computer, DS, PSP and Wii....he will watch ESPN with dad and be in video-heaven all weekend.

Just a warning...I am in my perfect little writing room today, and I am in a writing mood, so I intend on making up for the many days lately that I have not had the time to blog. Beware those of you who have this shot to your e-mail....I may get carried away today...

Until tomorrow, when I may not move from this chair all day...

On Getting a French Little One....

2010-02-10T06:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been off for a few days. Just too much going on to write it down. The latest news in our household is that we are going to have another Little One soon....no, not a baby...a Little French One. The local Montessori school was looking for families to host some french children in May for a few weeks, and I volunteered. I might have done this before discussing it with The Husband, so many thanks to him for having such a good reaction.

Little One is so excited about the prospect of this "french sister". She has been working on a packet called "All About Me" to send to our prospective child. This will tell her all about Little One. It tickles me to see Little One construct a certain picture of herself. She is very good at self-editing. Only certain pictures will do. They all must be flattering and lovely. Detailed descriptions of the cats must be concluded, after all, this will be VERY important to our visitor. Her self-drawn picture of our town includes our house, UGA (university) and her school. She feels no need to discuss mom or dad or brother...these are minor details...

We received an e-mail this morning from the child's mom. I loved her immediately. She is a blogging-horto-culturist who comments on how floral design affects fashion...I believe we were separated at birth. The Little One's name is Leila....My Little One thinks that name is just so beautiful, though not "overly french"?? The french Little One mainly speaks french, which is no problem for me...but my Little One is a bit worried about this. I explained that she is bi-lingual, which means it will all be fine,

So begins a few months of letters and e-mails and skyping between the 2 Little Ones. This should be fun. I love new experiences. When I was in high school, I desperately wanted to do the french exchange program, but my over-protective parents would not dream of it. Well, this is my chance to re-live that. Though I have travelled through France many times, this will be new and different. Even The Boy is semi-interested. At first he said "That's all I need"....as if he would be personally responsible for everything...but then, he calmed down and asked the important questions, like "What does she like to eat?"...

So today, as we begin the preparations for her visit in a few months, Little One and I are filled with excitement,,,

Until tomorrow...The Boy's school conference is today, and I sense "issues".....

On Not Getting a Ticket....

2010-02-05T10:22:00.001-08:00

I was all set to write on the WSJ article about which stars sell the most clothes, but that will have to wait until next week. The following encounter has trumped any fashion talk today...

I was headed out the door to take the kids to school today when The Husband reminded me that I needed to take his car. He had kindly offered to get a couple of new tires put on my car (This offer coming after I had a total tire blowout after he had assured me all was fine...nevertheless). I don't drive The Husband's cars very often. I'm not allowed to drive the porsche...and I do not hold this against him. I wouldn't allow me to drive it either. But today, the kids and I climbed into the Honda and took off. It was absolutely pouring down rain and still dark...it was Little One's day to pick "leaving time"...and she picks "crack of dawn".....So there we were at 7:20, driving and talking. We pulled off the backstreets into a merging lane, when all of a sudden, the state trooper behind me (I had seen him) flashes his lights. Well, crap.

I quickly pulled over and waited. "What did I do?" I asked The Boy. "No clue", he replied. Little One whispered "Are you going to jail?" ......The Boy laughed and said "Ooh, dad is really gonna yell at you!" Sadly, this was the exact thought going through my mind. However, I crossed my fingers and hoped I had a break light out or something. I rolled down my window, and the trooper trudged over in the rain with a really mean look on his face. "I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU TO PUT ON YOUR LIGHTS."......Ok, well you don't have to yell at me. "License please." I handed it over and murmured "really sorry".

Little One, who needs to learn to restrain her temper, started talking about how "dumb" he was. The Boy was strangely quiet, only mumbling "We're gonna be late." I sat there lecturing myself not to cry...though I felt like it. I was already planning my explanation to The Husband, yet I was also shallow enough to hope that no friends of neighbors were seeing this....although I was a bit comforted by the fact that I was in The Husband's car and it was still dark...giving me a bit of "disguise"...

A few minutes later, here came the trooper again. He walked up, took off his glasses and sighed. "Ok. I'm mad at you because you made me get wet. I had already made up my mind to give you a ticket....But...if you will promise to put your lights on.....I won't."........He didn't smile, but he looked like he might, so I said "Thank you so much", and flipped on my lights. Since we were at the worse possible place as far as trying to pull back on to the road, I hesitated until The Boy said "MOM GO...and be sure your lights are on!" ....Little One rambled on about how "dumb" the policeman was, and frankly, I was feeling the same way, so I refrained from my motherly duty of correcting her.

The thing is.....here it comes......I didn't even know you could get a ticket for not having your headlights on. I mean, I should have had them on, and it was still a little dark and rainy....but I was just wondering why he didn't stop me on the side roads and just tell me. As we pulled away, I said "No need to even mention this to dad.".....The Boy shook his head. "MOM, How come when I make a bad grade, and I beg you not to tell dad, you say you have to. I guess next time I make a bad grade, we don't have to tell him either."......Busted. And not only busted, but embarrassed.

All's well that ends well. We made it to school without further problems....and I did call and tell The Husband about it. "Did you tell them you weren't used to driving my car?" he asked. Well, no I didn't, because I did not know if that would hurt or help.....

Anyway, I feel very fortunate to have "gotten off"....kind of lifted my spirits on a gloomy Friday...SO

Until tomorrow....

Finishing the Fashion List

2010-02-04T05:11:00.000-08:00

It was lovingly pointed out to me by The Niece this morning that I never finished the fashion blog. I am so off my game this week. Too many distractions. But without further ado...here we go. I believe we left off at item 6....

6) Gold metallic Sperrys....Ok, back in 'the day', these were called 'Boat shoes'. They have come in and out of style so many times I cannot count. I have never owned a pair. As I have said before, the only flats I ever wear are boots.....however.....I LOVE these. I think it is the metallic that makes them so cute. I would wear them with skirts and shorts. But I am torn between these and the suede McAlister boots. These look like old-fashioned hush puppies, but a bit more cool. I'm going to need The Niece's opinion on this, since price will prevent me from buying both.

7) The Minnie Pant....I love these pants! The ankle length is so flattering (they are called the 'magic pants" in the catalogue because they look good on everyone. They have a real french look...I would wear them with my ankle boots because that is the look I like, but I can see them with flats too. If The Husband didn't read the blog, I'd tell you that I already purchased these....and the following......

8) Ruffled Vest.....Ok, as you get older, you definitely have to balance out 'cool' with 'appropriate'. I am constantly editing my wardrobe to be sure that I don't look like I'm trying to dress like Big Sis or The Senior. But having said that, occasionally I just have to go for it.....the "Minnie pants" with the darling Ruffle Vest seem to satisfy my "chic" craving without going overboard. The vest can be belted or not, and once again, I would wear it with almost anything....

9) Vintage Denim jacket......I was not allowed to have a denim jacket in middle school or high school. My mom thought that only "hoods" wore these. (I do not know what the current equivalent for "hood" is....all I can say is that the kids that wore jean jackets back then all smoked and skipped class....and none of them were forced to wear pigtails by their mom...) Anyway, once I was buying my own clothes, these became a staple for me. I even bought one with a beautiful pastel bird on the back during college....what the heck was I thinking? Now, I like the ones that look kind of worn and cozy. I wear them with everything...skirts, dresses, you name it....It kind of gives a yin and yang look. The newest ones are cropped, and they are cute. But I think you have to be careful with proportion.....I think the normal length is more versatile...

10) Crystal necklace.......I love to look at these in the magazines. When I use to merchandise, these were the pieces that would really make an outfit pop. But to be honest, for me, they do not translate well into reality. I have to wear jewelry that is comfortable. I cannot wear anything that is heavy or too bold. Of course, this is totally a personal thing. Some people carry these off so well...and this necklace is the perfect show piece if you are that person....

Ok, that's it for today. I'm going to stick with the fashion theme tomorrow. The Wall Street Journal has an interesting article this morning on which "stars" sell fashion the best....I'll have to give my 2 cents on this...

Until tomorrow...

"If There Ever Comes A Day When We Can't Be Together,Keep Me in your Heart. I'll Stay There Forever.' Winnie the Pooh

2010-02-02T06:01:00.000-08:00

Little One was home from school yesterday. I went up to wake her up for school, and she began to cry. I hesitated....then I heard her stomach making funny noises. Could be hunger...but I couldn't take the chance. A memory popped into my head of a young 4th grader (me) who got sick at school one day. My mom determined it was nerves...so she brought me home, cleaned me up....and sent me back. To this day, I can remember putting on my yellow jumper, which by the way I hated, and crying at the thought of my impending humiliation. I do remember apologizing to the boy who sat in back of me. This particular boy was a good friend. He had nicknamed me "Ork" ....this was the sound he envisioned the bird who I was named for making....I can still remember his sweet words of reassurance: "It's ok Ork. Just don't do it again." .....You'll understand why he remained a good friend all through high school...But I digress....

I tucked Little One back in and let her sleep. After dropping The Boy at school, I came home and worked on a painting for a few hours. Little One eventually appeared on the stairs with a small grin on her face. "I'm really hungry. Can I have the left-over cheeseburger?".....Ok, so those stomach sounds were probably hunger. At least she'd have a day to rest. Little One is easy to have around on these days. She is content to watch game shows and entertain herself while I do my thing. Around noon, I suggested a trip to the bookstore. You'd have thought I said we were going to Disney World. She ran upstairs and put on her "outfit"....leggings with shorts over them, tank top with a shirt over it...and cowboy boots. (no yellow jumpers for Little One). We made our way to the bookstore where she picked out several good books. Later, as we headed to pick up The Boy and grab her homework, she leaned up and gave me a kiss...."I love you. I like being home with you." A sob caught in my throat. Little One doesn't like any show of emotion...so it was not a good idea to burst into tears at his moment. 'Ditto' I replied.

Last night as I tucked her in, I teased her. "I don't care how much your stomach is growling in the morning...you have to got to school." She grinned and said "Darn it! I was hoping for another day." This morning, there were no tears. She hopped out of bed, dressed, ate 2 waffles, and styled the hair into her newest "do". As I grabbed my keys to leave, she ran over and gave me a hug. "I'll miss you today". This time, I couldn't stop the tears. And she didn't even fuss at me....

So this morning, as I sit here on this rainy day preparing to paint, I miss my Little One.....

Until tomorrow...

On Putting Aside my "Best Laid Plans"...

2010-01-31T06:07:00.000-08:00

I heard little steps on the stairs at 7:00. This is not a good sign on Sunday morning. The bathroom door opening before my door was also not a good sign. Little One walked over to th e bed with tears in her eyes. "I think I have the stomach flu. I didn't make it to the bathroom." Oh my. These are not the words any mother likes to hear. What makes it worse is that Little One always makes it in time. This could not be good. I jumped out of bed and followed her to the bathroom. There was work to be done. She laid down on the couch while I cleaned. I ran through my mind what she had eaten the previous night, hopeful that it was something she ate and not a virus. High school basketball game, two hot dogs...a grill cheese when she got home....uh oh...nothing to indicate a bad food reaction. I took her back to bed and tucked her in, hoping it was just a freak thing. 2o minutes later, she came in again, again not making her mark, and this time, feeling even worse. Ok, well, at least I knew what was coming...

Fast forward a couple of hours. 4 trips to the bathroom. 2 long crying jags (hers, not mine) and a full load of laundry...all before 9:00. My heart goes out to Little One. I guess everyone has a predilaction to some kind of illness...something that they tend to get. The Boy gets a cold....The Husband gets upper respiratory something or other....but Little One gets a stomach virus. This is hard to watch as a mom. Lots of patting and ponytail holding....and lots of trying to discreetly chlorox everything in sight. Then there is this...

The first hour, I find myself wondering if I have it too, or is it just my reaction to her? Ok, I think I am ok. Then there is the mental review and tweak of the day, knowing that church is out...and so are any hopes of finishing the painting and the french novel. The Husband and Boy have a busy day planned, so they will be fine. Neither have risen from bed yet...and when they hear about Little One, they will make a quick exit...There was the aborted attempt to do a yoga tape in between bathroom trips, in some sort of pitiful effort to feel productive....but that failed when Little One ran through yelling "Grab my ponytail...it'c coming again!!'...

So today, I will give up all thought of any of my "best laid plans', and just try and comfort Little One. Is there anything worse than being 10 years old with a stomach virus on a Sunday? Not in her eyes.

Until tomorrow, when the 24 hour rule probably dictates that Little One will miss school...which means more rearranging and adjusting of plans.....but she is calling again....

On the State of the Union

2010-01-28T05:07:00.000-08:00

I'm going to do a quick follow -up blog here this morning. I hadn't planned on watching the President's State of the Union speech. I was going to go run during this time....but it was too cold, so I was forced to watched. Therefore, I feel compelled to give a short reaction. My apologies to those of you who have this blog sent to your e-mail...sorry to put 2 in your box in one day. Remember, there were none yesterday...

Speech reaction:

1) "I am more hopeful than I have ever been"......I don't think most Americans are feeling this positive, but I could be wrong. I think there is a real feeling of worry and concern out there...

2) "Change has not come fast enough".....again, I feel there is a true disconnect with the country. The problem is, the change that has occurred has not helped or is not wanted.

3) You cannot re-name the Stimulus Bill. You can try and call it a Jobs bill now, but it is the same thing. And here is the deal....many of your job 'suggestions" could have already been passed if you had tried...but you were more interested in cramming through your agenda.

4) If you really believe that the only reason the healthcare bill is unpopular is because you "have not explained it well"....I don't know what to say. New Jersey, Virginia, Massachussetts....do you really think the people in those states didn't understand?? Isn't that an unbelievably smug and condescending reaction? Could it be that people heard and did not like it????

5) You spent very little time on National Security. Why didn't you mention the Christmas Day bombing? The terror trial in New York? Closing Guitmo?..............

6) Thanks for acknowledging that you have screwed up some this year. But you have to do more that acknowledge it...you have to change course a bit......I don't see it yet, but I can be patient.

7) I liked the talk about helping out small businesses and college students...these are things I can support.

8) You want Congress to list earmarks on a website???? ...How about you VETO anything with an earmark in it...this was your campaign promise....

9) Kudos to your wife. Childhood obesity and help for veterans are 2 meaningful and important causes. She stays under the radar and I admire this.

10) It makes me physically ill to have to stare at Pelosi and Biden while you speak.

I think the President has a hard time not being "adored". When he looks out at the republicans in his audience, and they are staring at him stone-faced...he cannot handle it. He still feels that he can somehow win people over with his charisma and personality.....

Please, Mr. President......change course....listen to the Americans.....and listen, you can blame the former administration the first month you are in office...maybe the second....but by the first year...it's your baby. YOU are Washington, Mr. Obama...you are no longer the "outsider". You are the change, remember? Don't play the blame game....it makes you look weak....

So that is it for today and tomorrow.....happy weekend to all.....

Is it Spring Yet? ( the Fashion Blog)

2010-01-27T18:43:00.000-08:00

Why is it that right after the holidays, when it is still below freezing outside, the spring catalogues start showing up in the mail box? You've just bought all the Christmas presents...and you're wearing your sweaters and boots...and here comes the spring bathing suit catalogue and the resort catalogue. Now as a previous buyer, I can answer the more literal part of that question....the buying for these items has already occurred. But the more fun part of the answer is that these catalogues come just about the time we are ready for warm weather again. When you are freezing just walking out to the mailbox, it's nice to open up a catalogue and see pretty spring clothes....

On this note, I happened to pop onto the J Crew facebook page the other day. Their stylist "Jenna", who puts together a kind of 'top 10' list every season, had posted a picture of some 'must have' pieces. There was a kind of 'online' fight going on as to whether this look was relevant or not. Now, the job of the stylist is to create a kind of feeling. The look is not so much based on the individual pieces, but it is the total picture. I happened to love the picture. I thought it was a great mix of texture and color. I couldn't...or wouldn't... personally wear all of the pieces, but the picture caused me to look more closely at each individual piece. To me, this meant she had succeeded. But many had posted comments on the site critiquing the picture. I hit 'like' just to give Jenna a little support. (If you participate on facebook, you know that 'like' is a lazy way of saying 'I like that'.) This, in turn, made Big Sis laugh... I believe the word she used was "dork". But the niece quickly came to my rescue. She too had seen the picture....and she was more interested in whether or not I liked the sequined shorts.....so, here is my take on the "list'...once again, it's just my opinion...and who cares what I think anyway??

1) The sequined shorts.....These shorts got slammed more than any other item, and I understand why. You would have to be of a certain age and have great legs to pull these off. The niece could wear them. Britney Spears could wear them. Most people could not or would not wear them. But I think they were a very cool part of the whole look.

2) The boyfriend blue oxford shirt.....I love this shirt. It's a wardrobe staple. You can dress it up or down...and it's a great layering piece. She layered it under a sequined tank, which I thought was a really neat mix of texture. I wouldn't wear the sequined shorts...but I would sure wear the sequined tank. I can see it over a white shirt with a pair of jeans...but I can also see it over a sleek pencil skirt...

3)Long Beach cardigan.....at first glance, this one looks old-fashioned and dated...but the shape and texture are very modern...I would wear this over jeans or skirts...but I would also wear it as a robe or a bathing suit cover-up....again, versatility is the key.

4) Zoe Blazer...I am a real lover of jackets and blazers, but I prefer a more tailored jacket. There is a cute 'boyfriend' blazer that I have kept in my online 'wish list' for a month...but it needs a discount before I take the plunge....The Zoe blazer is too boxy for my taste...I don't like anything that doesn't compliment shape....

5) 'Bonne Vie' blue and striped scarf....Love this one...very Parisien, very chic.....perfect with jeans...very cozy-looking...

So that's it for today...6 through 10 to come.....

Until tomorrow....

In the News....

2010-01-26T05:45:00.000-08:00

Short Discussion of the Day's Headlines in no particular order:

1) On the eve of the State of the Union Address, addressing the fact that his poll numbers are extremely low, President Obama tells Diane Sawyer he would rather be a good one-term President than a mediocre two term. Hey Mr. President....the point is, nobody thinks you're a good one- termer yet. WSJ has a very interesting article today entitled 'Obama and the Copenhagen Syndrome'. The jist of the article is that "Copenhagen Syndrome" is the "belief in your own miracles. It is a belief that those who crowned you king actually knew what they were doing." You sent your press secretary to the Sunday news shows to say that things are tough because of"the last 8 years. Do you really think the American people are going to give you a pass on that after a year in office? Come on...accountability......time to reassess and listen a little bit. You are the President of a country of people who are trying to tell you something. Listen.

2) Simon Cowell is said to be leaving American Idol next year. Possible replacements being mentioned? Tommy Mattola....uh...too old, irrelevant. Head of a record company, but his biggest claim to fame is being Mariah Carey's ex-husband....Jamie Foxx....I think he can be really crude and nasty. I know Simon is rotten, but one senses there is a heart there somewhere..........Donny Osmond....Love Donny, but no. Too nice. ..................Not sure there is a replacement for Simon.

3) Brad and Angelina are splitting up. Well, this is in the news every other week. If it is true, very sad for all of those kids....but really, why does this get so much attention?

4) It is being said that the US response to the earthquake in Haiti was worse than the response to Katrina. I think this is a tough one to judge. You are dealing with a country so full of corruption that there was unbelievable poverty to begin with. Factor in total devastation and a dissolving of any government structure...and what do you do? You send troops and supplies and try and figure out how to get help to the people who need it. Unfortunately, this takes time...and in a disaster of this magnitude, you just do not have time.....I really cannot blame our government for this one.....

5) Conan vs Leno. Well, I don 't really care. But from a purely business standpoint, the network is obviously going to give the Tonight Show to the guy who can bring the best ratings.....I understand that it stinks for Conan...but isn't that how it is for anyone who gets "moved around" in their job when someone else is more productive? I mean, it may not be 'fair'...but it's a business....

6) Colts or Saints in the Super Bowl? Ouch...it still hurts that I can't say Vikings. If I can't cheer for Brett, I'm going with Peyton Manning....

So that is it for today....I don't have time to get to 7-10. Just a warning to those who don't care...tomorrow is about fashion.....

Until tomorrow....

A Little Correction....l

2010-01-25T05:13:00.000-08:00

I'm going to begin the week with a small correction. I got so many comments on my Saturday blog that I feel compelled to come clean. The point of the blog was to express how I was a little over-competitive. In my attempt to make the point, I did exaggerate a bit.( The Husband is now thinking to himself that I exaggerate about him all of the time, but this is not true.)

In regards to Little One's basketball game, I did holler out a few complaints to the referees, but nothing mean-spirited. In fact, half-way through the game, one of the guys ran by and whispered, "I know how frustrating this is. I use to coach a girl's team, too." After the game, I might have wanted to grit my teeth while shaking hands...but I didn't.

In The Boy's game, I did, indeed, get yelled at by an opposing fan, but truthfully, it was her frustration, and nothing I did. I didn't even respond to her...but I did yell loudly for The Boy after that.

My point that day was that I think I should keep the bigger picture in mind during these games. Last night, my beloved Vikings, led by my hero Brett Favre, got beat. The first quarter, I may have e-mailed the network complaining bout how the announcers were for the opposing Saints (they were!!). I yelled at the tv screen. Finally, The Husband made a sarcastic remark, which forced me to hush. I will forever appreciate The Boy and Little One for cheering with me. Somehow, it is easier to lose when you're not alone.

As I think about it, I think this kind of enthusiasm (kept in check) is a good thing. As you get older, you experience lots of things....but the giddy joy of winning, and the child-like feelings that come with it, are rare. This is why I have rooted for Brett Favre. I love to see honest child-like enthusiasm. When he runs around the field like a crazy man, chest-bumping everyone in sight, I am filled with joy. While we were on vacation, Little One and I were watching a game, and after a score, I jumped up and down. Little One found this very funny...this is not my usual behavior. At one point last night, when I had stifled my reactions...Little One and The Boy said "Come on mom, jump up and down!" Even The Husband threatened to turn it if I didn't react.

So the point today is that even though I may have exaggerated my reactions...the feelings were there. And I guess what I was trying to say was that sometimes I need to keep things in perspective. On the other hand, a little bit of giddy joy never hurt anyone....and also, thinking it is not the same as doing it....right?....

Until tomorrow. A new week, a new painting, and lots to discuss....And a very Happy Birthday to the father-in-law!.....

On Being a Tad Bit Over-Competitive....

2010-01-23T12:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I do not usually blog on Saturdays...but the events of the day have been so unsettling that I am forced to put it on paper.....As they say on '24'...".the following events took place within a 6 hour period"...

I admit to being a little ashamed of myself this morning. Little One had a basketball game. Now, let me preface this by saying that we (The Husband is the coach, I am the assistant something or other) have not lost a game in 2 years. I go around saying how it is not important if you win or lose, you just have to play your best and be gracious.....Well, little miss goody-goody got her ego and her pants beat today, and if truth be told, all grace flew out the window....

The game started out pretty well. We went up a few points, and it looked like we would again be victorious. But by the second period, things had taken a bad turn. We missed about 22 shots in a row, and all of a sudden, we were behind. Well, you know how some people start blaming the ref and yelling and stuff and it is so distasteful?.....It was like an alien took over my body and I started yelling at the ref. The Husband was screaming at the top of his lungs (this is not unusual)...and I was just so angry. All of a sudden, I heard one of my sweet little players yell at the ref too, and I was thrust back into reality. What the heck was I doing? Well, the game ended with us losing by a few points. There were a few tears (thankfully not mine), but we rallied enough to congratulate the other team. I will admit to gritting my teeth while I did this. On our way out of the gym, a friend as much as told us that "it's probably good that you loss...a good lesson."....Now I love this friend...but I almost punched her in the face. I almost said, "You are only saying that because we clobbered your team last week"...but I held my tongue....

Once we got home, I lectured myself on my bad behavior, and got ready to go to The Boy's game. Big Sis and SIL were travelling down to go too, and I was determined to have a good attitude. I was determined to get my hypocrisy in order. I needed to be a good role model to the kids.

As The Boy's game started, it was obvious that his team was the better team. The Boy was playing well, and I was good-naturedly cheering him on. At one point, a little boy on the opposing team travelled, and I said quietly to myself "Oops, I think he travelled".......All of a sudden, an older lady turned around and said "WELL YOUR TEAM IS DOING STUFF TOO, SO IT'S EVEN"......I was so taken aback that I literally turned around to look behind me to see who she was talking to. But when I saw the look on Big Sis's face (and SIL'S), I knew it was me!! Now The Husband, over-hearing this exchange, began to make fun of me. So I hushed......UNTIL...the lady yelled at The Boy for "going over our backs"............Well, that did it. The gloves came off. First of all, The Boy was doing no such thing. Secondly, and you will have to excuse me for saying this, but she was just mad because The Boy was killing them. And thirdly....the mother hen came out in me. Now I promise I was not rude or ugly...but I may have been a little overly vocal in my support of The Boy from then on. The Husband was laughing and so was Big Sis. I am usually the quiet on at these events....but hey, we all have our days....

As I reflect on these events, I come up with a few conclusions. My sweet mom was THE most competitive person on the face of the earth. I always thought that her boldness was responsible for my shyness. But I have learned that deep down, the apples do not fall far from the trees...

So today, I will make a promise to myself that I will never again yell at a ref......I will never again grit my teeth while I congratulate the other team....BUT I WILL NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE YELL AT THE BOY.......the end...

Until tomorrow, when thankfully, there are no more games.....

Rainy day Re-cap

2010-01-21T07:10:00.000-08:00

I'm late getting to it today. Strangely happy to have rainy day..it suits my mood. When I opened the mail yesterday, there was a small package from our vet. I figured it was some paperwork or receipts from The Dog's last visit. When I opened it, I burst into tears. It was clay imprint of The Dog's pawprint. A very dear remembrance, but it took me by surprise, along with the tears it brought. When I showed it to the kids, Little One also burst into tears. The Boy said sadly, "Frame it, mom." We miss The Dog....

Little One had an audition last night for yet another play. I have to admit I was a little reticent to do this again so soon...but for the shy Little One, this is a great confidence-booster...so there we were again in the try-out room. She came out all smiles, confident that she had done well. We won't find out for a few weeks, but I'm proud of the fact that she has the guts to try out...of course, BFF was by her side, so it made it a little easier.

The Boy and Husband headed to the school for the baseball team meeting. This was merely an excuse to go out to eat afterwards. When I tried to get some information on the team, they both looked at me like I was crazy. However, The Boy could give me the exact rundown of what they both ate....

A quick addendum on yesterday's political blog....I like this Steve Brown guy. He seems smart and genuine....and a great sense of humor. I like his take on things...he is a republican, but he acknowledges that he comes from a state that is 85% democrat...so he is anxious to work for "both sides". I think he has a great political future. I started thinking about how he is just now joining the senate, so it might be awhile before he can run for President if he so chooses....but then I remembered that our President was not long on experience either...

So that's it for today. Little One has basketball practice tonight and The Husband has indicated that I might have to be in charge...this means I will actually have to talk....

Until tomorrow....

On How the Guy with the Truck Won...

2010-01-20T05:27:00.000-08:00

It has to be about politics today. If you don't live on the moon, you know that Scott Brown defeated Martha Coakley in the race for the Massachussetts senate seat formerly held by the late Ted Kennedy, a seat that went for the Democrats for almost 6o years. In an amazing upset, the republican Scott Brown came from about 12 points behind over the final week, despite a campaign visit from the President, and despite the big support from the Washington machine.

You could sense what was going to happen yesterday afternoon as it looked like Brown would pull an upset. The White House and key democrats began to subtly (and not so subtly) blame Ms. Coakley, saying she didn't work hard enough, she didn't have what it took...Pelosi came out and said that it would have no effect on the health care bill...the President's "team" pretended like this had nothing to do with them. The fact that a seat that was symbolic of the Democratic Party in so many ways, had overwhelming gone to a new, unheard of republican...a guy that drove a truck, and had no problem saying "I will be the vote to defeat the health care bill" and "we need to treat terrorists like terrorists".

When the President visited to campaign for Coakley over the weekend, he took a few jabs at Brown and his truck. Once again...the President seemed to take a "I know better than you all" sort of attitude...one that he has exhibited this entire first year. The whole thing reminded me of how Bill Clinton had faced a similar situation during the first part of his presidency. After getting clobbered in mid-terms, he was forced to take a step back and listen...and he did. This began what was to be a pretty amazing period in our history...a period where a democratic President worked with republicans....for the good o f the people. Compromises were made....debates were had....it was a good time, reminding us of what our forefathers had tried to lay down the framework for....But our President is not on this path. He seems to have been convinced by the Oprah Winfreys and the Chris Matthews ('when he speaks, I get a tingle up my leg") that he is the second-coming...and he is not here to listen to the "people". He has an agenda which seems to trump whatever the American people want. He is not a centerist...as he tried to lead people to believe....and he never was. There is a real danger in his attitude. What he needs to realize is that the American people still harbor good feelings for him....they still hope he gets his act together. But this election is a sign. It's like a big banner that says "We voted for you, but our patience is wearing thin. We like you, but we don't like what you are doing." If he is smart , he will listen.

As for Scott Brown, there were people this morning speculating that he might have what it takes to be President. I admit to having the same thoughts last night. He has a certain John Kennedyesque-ness about him. I don't know how intelligent he is...and he is certainly short on experience...but the guy has charisma. He also has a lovely family and a humble attitude...and a desire to "do good".

So that's it for today. The fall out from this election will be interesting. Will the Dems continue to cram the health care bill through...or will they stand back and start over? Will they learn from the successes of Clinton...or do they feel like they are invincible?...Time will tell...

Until tomorrow, with a prayer for the people of Haiti who experienced yet another earthquake over night....While we quibble over politics, there are people literally fighting for their life...

On "Aha" Moments.....

2010-01-19T05:04:00.000-08:00

I had what could best be described as an Oprah "Aha" moment yesterday. I was put in charge of taking The Boy to a batting lesson. This is usually The Husband's domain. In fact, I had never taken him before, so the drive out into the country with The Boy giving me directions ("Um, I think that is it...NO, it was back there!") was a little challenging. When we finally arrived at the building where this lesson takes place, there were a couple of guys there finishing up their lesson. Now these were high school boys...and every time they hit the ball, I flinched a little bit and Little One's eyes got really big. The Boy grinned and nodded as if to say "Yeah, pretty good, huh?" Now The Boy didn't sit by us...he made his way over to the bench across from us. As I watched him, I felt a little tug at my heart. A couple of years ago...maybe even last year...he would have sat near me and felt very nervous in this situation. I can still remember having to talk him into staying at a particular game because he was nervous. Well, those days are gone. As he sat there with his batting gloves on, helmet in one hand and bat in the other, he looked so much older, chomping away on his gum.

When the older boys finished, The Boy jumped up and ran in to help them pick up buckets of balls. This is the kind of kid The Boy is. Always happy to help...(well, except at home). I introduced myself to his instructor, a former player and very nice man, and sat down and waited. It had been a few months since I had seen The Boy hit. The Husband had told me he was much improved, but he was already a good hitter, so I hadn't given it much thought. But when he walked up and started smacking the ball...I flinched. ...Little One turned to look at me like "Wow," And Little One is not one for "wows". Here is the thing...it wasn't so much the good hitting that got to me...though he was really hitting well....it was....how old he looked doing it. He looked 16...He looked like those previous boys....And suddenly, my heart hurt a bit, because I realized that he won't be The Boy for much longer. In between "Yes Sirs", he occasionally glanced in my direction. I was proud of myself for not embarrassing by giving him thumbs up or something. I just smiled and nodded. At that point The Husband walked in, and Little One demanded that we leave. On the way home, it occurred to me how fast he is growing up. I am so thankful that he is still The Boy...Is it too much to hope that he will always be "My Boy"?

When he got home that night, he ran in and said "Mom, what did ya think?". I showered him with praise, and he smiled his handsome, goofy Boy grin and said "I'm hungry"....so much for magic moments...

I had similar moments at Little One's shows last weekend. As I sat by the lovely Big Sis watching Little One dance and sing, I realized that in a blink of an eye, she would be the Big Sis. Time truly flies...But after the show, my melancholy was replaced by the reality that Little One still has a few "Little Girl" years to go....after all, she couldn't wait to wash off the makeup, take down the hair...and ride that bike....

So that's it for today. Little One is home sick...miserable cold and cough. As I tucked her back in bed this morning, I didn't even feel that normal stressed feeling, worrying about what she might miss. Instead, I had a fleeting thought of how it would not be my "pleasure" to wake her for many more years.....I have to remember that what seems like a chore now, will one day be a wonderful memory...

Until tomorrow, when I will try my best to pull myself out of this melancholy reminiscing...and keep my "Aha" moments to myself....

On the Big Show and the Big Game...

2010-01-18T06:31:00.000-08:00

It was a girl's weekend. The Husband and The Boy were off on a bat convention (it would take too long to explain), so Little One and I were left to our own devices. The big 'Grease' production began Friday night. Little One and BFF were singer/dancers in the big production...and it was terrific. After the show, we came back home for a post show spend-the-night, complete with hot chocolate, popcorn...and lots of giggling.

Saturday morning, we received an e-mail from a friend about a fund-raiser for a Haiti hospital. If the girls would create a valentine, they would be printed up and sold and various venues. Though I had hoped for a quiet, late-sleeping morning, this was too good of an offer to pass up. Over chocolate chip pancakes and coffee(me), the girls came up with some lovely designs, and we were off to deliver them to our friend. What a terrific idea this was...we suggested they try and sell them at the 'Grease' production that evening, and it all worked out. Not only were they lovely cards, but a lot of money was raised for the hospital. Just an example of what good can happen when people put their minds and time into it.

Saturday night's performance was even better, and this time the girls moved to the BFF's house for the post-show spend-the-night. I was on my own. I cannot remember the last time this has happened...and I have to admit that it was a little bit of heaven to have a few hours of free time with nobody to please....I tried to stay up later than usual to take advantage...but the full day had knocked me out, so I am afraid I spent most the precious alone time sleeping...

Sunday was another performance. Big Sis and SIL came down for it, and we had a wonderful time. Post-show, we headed out to dinner, and we laughed the whole time. As previously mentioned, the SIL is good for a lot of laughs....

Now this is not a sports blog...but on a final note, I have to express my excitement about my beloved Vikings winning their play-off game. I just love and admire Brett Favre. I love how he plays like a kid at 40 yrs. old. All week, everyone said the Cowboys were going to win, and they had me convinced. So how good did I feel when they were up 17-3 when I had to leave for the show. SIL was kind enough to keep me informed on the score during the show via his phone. With a final score of 33-3...well, let's just say it made my day.

The Husband and The Boy made it home safely just in time to see Jack Bauer once again try and save the world...so all's well that ends well. Today being a holiday, The Boy will sleep until noon...and Little One is already up and about.

So until tomorrow, when we move from 'Grease' rehearsals to travel softball practice...it's always something, isn't it?.....

It's 'Idol' Time Again....

2010-01-14T05:19:00.000-08:00

I love when 'American Idol' starts back every year. It's such a great family night to sit around and watch together. Last night, I was forced to tape my favorite Wednesday night shows because of 'Idol'. Then I had to stay up too late and watch the taped shows...well, ok...."had to" is being used very loosely here. I wanted to stay up and watch them because they are so funny...and I have to be able to talk about them with friends the next day...

My favorite person on 'Idol' last night was the country singer from Vonore, Tennessee. My hometown is only 10 minutes from there, and my oldest brother actually lives there. I pass the bridge they showed her jumping every time I go home. Anyway, I loved her vulnerability, and I loved that they were so kind to her. Especially Simon. But he was right in saying that she is incredibly ill-prepared for Hollywood. The thing about 'American Idol' that people underestimate is that it requires more from somebody than just talent. That Hollywood week requires a bit of toughness, a small knowledge of music....and the ability to deal with girls who can best be described with a word I do not use. I'm warning everyone now.....if the pink dress girl from Vonore gets made fun of or put down out there...I may have to fly out there and hit someone.....That is just the country-tomboy coming out in me.

The one thing I didn't like that the Vonore girl said was that she was trying out for 'Idol' because it was the only way to get out of Vonore. I understood. She was obviously from a family of small means...but Vonore is actually lovely, and it is less than 30 minutes away from 2 great colleges...and I am an alumnus of both. Maryville College is right down the road, and UT is about 45 minutes away. I just thought that the inference that 'Idol' was her only way out was sad....

The Boy is home sick today. Nothing serious, just a miserable cold. He got up and got dressed...and it was actually me who suggested he stay home. He looked pitiful. I asked if he had any pressing tests or quizzes..and he said 'no'. I suggested he stay home, but The Boy is very responsible, and he had to think it over. Finally, he gave in to his misery and headed back upstairs. Big Sis and Senior are now saying out loud that I must have mellowed if I suggested someone stay home from school......Re-read what I said, girls....HE HAD NO TESTS OR QUIZZES.....enough said.

Tonight is the premier of the new season of Project Runway. I sound like a real TV head here, huh? I usually have my nose stuck in a book while everyone else watches....but not this week. I live vicariously through that show because I would have liked to have that talent...

So until tomorrow, when The Boy will hopefully feel better. Little One has a big basketball game tonight, so she is on pins and needles...

On Friendship and Finishing the Darn Painting...

2010-01-12T05:22:00.001-08:00

I was going to take the morning off the blog. The beach painting has been staring at me ever since we returned, but I have just been avoiding it. Everyone who sees it thinks it is finished, but I know better. There are some minor tweaks to be made here and there. The problem is, right now I love it. And everyone who sees it loves it...so the only way to go is down. The question is....Do I finish it and take the chance of messing it up? Or do I just call it a day and live with the minor errors? Courageous or coward? I am comforted by a couple of books I just read about Mattise and Van Gogh. Both of these masters were constantly doubting their abilities and their paintings. Now before anyone thinks I am making a comparison of myself to them....I'm Not...I'm just comparing my insecurities. The point is, after 25 years of paining, one would think that all of the doubts that set in at this point would go away...

Anyway, the reason I am briefly writing this morning is to thank a friend for being a friend. As I sat in drop-off line chatting with Little One, one of my morning crew friends brought me a new book about our relationships with our pets. She had seen it advertised and had been thinking of me because of our loss of The Dog. This almost brought tears to my eyes. Not just the book, which I am sure I will enjoy, but the fact that she was thinking about me. That is what friendship is all about, isn't it? That and the fact that she makes me belly-laugh on a weekly basis....

So today, as I attempt to finish my painting, I will be saying a silent prayer for The Dog....and for good friends...and praying also that I don't mess up the painting.....

Until tomorrow...

Weekend Update

2010-01-11T06:54:00.000-08:00

It was a good weekend. After the snowless-snow day on Friday, The Boy and The Husband headed to the big city to see the Hawks play. This is thrilling for The Boy on many levels. He loves basketball...and he loves to be able to eat when I am not around to edit and limit. These are times when I do not even want to know what he and The Husband ingest for a meal...

Little One and BFF had a big day. I had given them both printable stuffed animals (don't ask) for Christmas...and I knew at some point I would have to spend hours instructing them on how to do it. Friday was the day. We made our animal...and then they decided they wanted to "make a cake by ourselves". Ok, sounds good to me. Only when I saw the BFF measure the oil, I decided that I'd better pretend to do something in the kitchen so I could "watch". After the cake was in the oven, we started on the icing. It was like something out of an old "I Love Lucy" episode....(I know BIL...that reference is way too old for most of the readers...but really, what is the modern day equivalent for "I Love Lucy"???) There was sugar and butter everywhere. When we finally got the cake cooled and frosted, The Boy entered with his friends and they tested it. "Not bad" he said...and then proceeded to eat half the cake.

The girls lobbied for a spend-the-night and won. We ordered pizza and settled in to watch movies. They watched "Runaway Bride" in the kitchen, and I watched "Sex and the City" for the 200th time in the den. (Side-track....there are two perfect scenes in that movie. One is where Carrie finds her way to Miranda's apartment on New Year's Eve in the snow. I cry every time. The second is where Mr. Big asks her to marry him at the end:" Carrie Bradshaw, Love of my life, Will You marry me"........melts my heart every time.)....Ok, on we go.

Saturday was back- to- back basketball games for Little One and The Boy. They both played well and they both won. The Husband coaches Little One's team this year as previously discussed. He did a terrific job. I love my "assistant" job this year. No stress...just keep the score book and pat everyone on the back. My kind of coaching...

Sunday, I took the kids to church. (The Husband had to work. Of course, he and his BFF met for wings and talk for a couple of hours...but whatever). Little One came down dressed in a short tulle skirt, no tights, sandals, and a tank top. It was 18 degrees outside. Unfortunately, it was too late to change. So she topped it off with her short school jacket. Quite a look. I had to sit between the two of them in order to limit the bickering. I can never quite understand why there has to be an argument over who puts the offering in the plate???

Later that afternoon, I delivered The Boy to The Husband...he had a training lesson...and they were going to "grab some dinner". Again, I did not want to know. Little One and I met Big Sis at the Waffle House, and we had a perfectly wonderful girl's dinner. The Senior had to decline due to homework. She has begun the last semester of her senior year...and Sunday nights are busy.

So another weekend gone. Next weekend week is Little One's big debut in the local 'Grease' production. It should be fun...

Until tomorrow...

Snow-less Snow Days....

2010-01-08T05:13:00.000-08:00

A snow day without snow. School is closed today, but there is no snow on our ground. The kids were praying for it all night long. The Boy was putting more research time into it than he does with his homework. He and his neighborhood posse of boys were calling anyone and everyone they knew who might tell them what they wanted to hear. The only thing that slowed him down was when he took a brief break to play basketball, and he went up too hard and bumped his head on the basket. He came in and said he was finished playing for the night. Since this has never happened before, I was worried. "I bumped my head...sort of a lump." I felt his head and almost fainted. There was a lump the size of a golf ball. I wondered out loud whether I should take him to the doctor...and he and The Husband rolled there eyes. The rest of the night was spent with a bag of ice plopped on his head...but he was still able to perform extensive research on whether or not he would have school. Finally, he seemed convinced by a friend on facebook who said "Our cars are covered in snow".....I pointed out that we had none on our driveway...but this seemed unimportant....

We watched the National Championship last night. I grew up in Tennessee, so cheering for Alabama is a mortal sin. That left me with Texas. The Husband likes them, so I decided to jump on his bandwagon. But it was not to be. To be honest, besides the Heisman winner guy who is an amazing athlete, I wasn't really impressed with either one. The Texas quarterback was slightly injured early on and never came back in because they had to "protect his NFL career". I wasn't sure how I felt about that. His shoulder was not even sprained, but they would not let him play in his school's National championship. The freshman quarterback who came in gave an admirable effort...but he was really in over his head. I just cannot see Tim Tebow making this decision.

The new season of 'The Bachelor' began Monday night. I made a short effort to watch it...the new bachelor seems like a nice guy. But as usual, it was just too cringe-worthy. The women were saying and doing things that literally made me turn away from the tv. I had to turn it after about 15 minutes. Maybe I'll try again when he narrows the field a bit...

So here we are on a 3 day weekend...Little One appeared at the crack of dawn and was sent back to her room. "You need to sleep late" I explained. Ok, who am I fooling? I needed to sleep in a bit. The Boy won't appear until around 11...and then he will be "starving". He and The Husband will be heading to the big city to watch the Hawks tonight. Most people would be put off by the weather, but The Husband will see it as a challenge. This means I will have to worry all night. Little One will start lobbying for a BFF spend-the-night in about an hour...

So until tomorrow, when Little One and The Boy both have their first basketball games...and we enjoy a snow-less snow day....

On Getting Back into the Routine....

2010-01-07T06:27:00.000-08:00

It's back to the routine after taking a few weeks off. No more doughnuts for breakfast...back to the "yummy" healthy smoothies. A few nights ago, I went for a short walk and jog, and I could barely make it. The next morning, I attempted my strenuous yoga routine, but I was huffing and puffing half way through it. Yesterday, I helped paint the set for Little One's upcoming production of "Grease". Now there was quite a bit of reaching and stretching involved...but this morning, I literally could hardly get out of bed. As I tried to walk up the 18 stairs to wake The Boy and Little One, I had tears in my eyes....What happened to the days when taking a few days off did not have to mean torture when I started back? You know you are getting a bit older when you keep asking yourself what on earth you did to be so sore...and realize it wasn't much...

As I said, the big "Grease" production is days away. Little One despises her 50's get up...she cannot understand why any girl would have warn a big poodle skirt and a twin set sweater. Of course, Little One hasn't put on a dress in about a year. We are definitely in our tomboy phase. I'm lucky if I can get her to wear anything besides her gym shorts and a t-shirt. The only thing that she really worries about is the hair. She wants it long and straightened.....I can use that for blackmail on just about anything. Threatening to not straighten the hair is much more potent than lowering bedtime or grounding.....

I'm heading over again today to help with set painting for "Grease". Though I was dreading it initially, it is actually quite fun. The 'Director' guy is very laid back...there are no "wrong" ways to do anything. It somehow reminded me of college...why, I have no idea, since I never did anything remotely similar in college.... Maybe it was being around all of the young girls in the cast and hearing all of their stories. The funniest part of the day came when they were having trouble laying some tape in a straight line for painting. I suggested they measure and mark it off at different points...."Wow, good idea" they replied. "Are you a professional?".....

So that is it for today. We are forecasted to get some snow, which means I better join all of my southern friends at the grocery store and buy milk, bread and eggs. I suppose people are making french toast or something when they get snowed in.....A friend of mine suggested that a better list would include "wine, fireplace wood, and pizza delivery guys with 4 wheel drive"....my thoughts exactly...

Until tomorrow....

On The "Politics of Fear"...

2010-01-06T05:16:00.000-08:00

President Obama came out 2 days after the Christmas Day terror attempt by a 23 year old Nigerian man and said that a passenger had "allegedly tried to ignite explosives". The next Day Homeland Security chief Napolitano came out and said "the system had worked". Then she said it didn't. Now The President said that we had the information, but we did not act on it properly.

I've had it. While our President and his team of brain surgeons sit around and try and decide whether or not to use the term "enemy combatant", terrorists have to be laughing at us. The ACLU is concerned that body scanners at airports might be "an assault on the essential dignity of passengers", ignoring the fact that in the past, terrorists have shown no compunction at using children as living bombs in attacks. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is now awaiting his trial in a Manhattan court room. The 23 year old Nigerian man who "allegedly" tried to blow up a plane is now lawyered-up, "with full rights", as if he tried to rob the local convenience store. What is happening here? An administration full of ideologues have decided that protecting the rights of terrorists who have proclaimed the desire to kill Americans is more important than protecting Americans. We are really not allowed to be Americans...we are just a country of people who are more concerned with how the world sees us than our own safety. The pendulum has swung so far in the opposite direction that it scares me. Why does our President have such a hard time saying that there are people out there who want to kill us, and we need to protect our country?

Let's talk about profiling for a minute. There is an extreme use of this practice which could probably borderline on enabling and encouraging prejudice. But given the current condition of the world, I see no way around it. If every terrorist who has committed a violent act in the last 10 years is an Arab of the Muslim faith..then it seems to me you have to be suspicious of anyone of this description. Yes, I know...very unfair to all of those honorable Muslim Arabs who would never participate in these acts. But unfortunately, the safety of our country trumps their feelings. If the local mall is burglarized 10 times in a row by a blond, blue eyed woman who is 5'9'', I fully expect for the police to be keeping an eye on me when I enter the mall. It's like drawing a picture of a suspect...you have to know who you are looking for. If you are wrong, so be it. But as we learn early on, the way to narrow down a search is to look for similar characteristics and go with the odds.

I don't believe in torture. But I also don't believe in putting a criminal in a 4 -star hotel and discussing what they did over a nice meal. If there are humane ways to get a terrorist to tell us what he knows, I am all for it. I have ambivalent feelings about the closing of Guitmo.....on one hand, I want to be sure that basic human rights are insured....on the other hand, when a terrorist's rights are equal to mine......I'm not sure.

I'm sick of hearing about the "politics of fear". Unfortunately, no matter what you want to call it, there are real reasons to be afraid in our world. Ask the passengers who were on that flight on Christmas day how they feel. Do you think they would be opposed to having a body scan before they walk onto a plane next time? Do you think they will object to having any young Nigerian men who have just been to Yemen pulled aside for questioning? I doubt it.

The Husband use to travel 300 days a year. We use to fly all over the world fairly often. I am thankful that we do not have to do that anymore. It's not a matter of being "scared"...but more a matter of being realistic. There was time after 9/11 when you at least felt that our government was trying to look out for us...trying to protect us. Maybe they went overboard...maybe they made some mistakes. But at least they were trying. At least they weren't sitting around a table trying to make sure that the terrorists were given full rights....

Am I suppose to be excited that the President came out yesterday, weeks after the Christmas Day incident, and admitted that they (our intelligence community) let us down. "We had the information, but we didn't act on it". Maybe that needs to be the round-table discussion for the day at the White House.....If we knew this man was a threat...why weren't we acting on it?

Until tomorrow...when we all need to be pushing that pendulum in the other direction....

A Fond Farewell to the Dog

2010-01-04T08:48:00.000-08:00

Heaven's Doggy-Door

My best friend closed her eyes last night,
as her head was in my hand,
The Doctor said she was in pain,
and it was hard for her to stand.

The thoughts that scurried through my head,
As I cradled her in my arms,
Were of her younger, puppy years and OH...
her many charms.

Today, there is no gentle nudge,
with an intense "I love you" gaze,
Only a heart that's filled with tears,
Remembering our joy filled days.

But and Angel just appeared to me,
And he said "You should cry no more.
God also loves our canine friends,
He's installed a "doggy-door!"

Jan Cooper

Our loving farewell to the Dog...after 15 years, we will miss you so much.

Beginnings and Endings....

2010-01-03T07:12:00.000-08:00

A few weeks before my mom died, she took a regemin of steroids to help with some of the side effects of her brain cancer. Somehow, the steroids brought her back to life. She remembered things. She wasn't in pain. She talked and talked...and talked. It was like a miracle, and I was so excited that I remember calling The Husband one afternoon and telling him how great it was. He paused a moment and then said "Don't get overly excited. Just enjoy it. It may not last." I was hoping that this was just The Husband's pessimistic nature. But my oldest brother called and said the same thing. "It's great" he said, "but it's probably temporary." Well, they were both right. Weeks later, mom died. But I will always be grateful for that last dose of "mom".

This is how I feel about the Dog right now. After a week of paralysis at the beach, she got up and walked a few steps when we got home. From the car to the bed. The kids were ecstatic, assured that she was now 'cured". They were upset with me for not sharing their excitement. But I had been there before, and sure enough, yesterday, she refused to eat and could not move. Her breathing has become laboured...all of the signs pointing to the end. I mean, I know the vet was right...15 years for a doberman is a miracle in itself. And she has had a great 15 years. She and I have co-mothered for years. I laugh when I remember how worried I was about getting a doberman. The Husband had been determined to have one (part of his Magnum complex)...but my parents and his parents and myself...we were all terrified that it was not a good dog to have with kids. But we were so wrong. The first night in our house, she went from room to room, checking on everyone, a habit she continued until she could not do it anymore. When the babies cried, she licked their tears. She was never a mother herself, but she helped me. It won't be the same starting the day without her anymore. We have risen before anyone else for many years. Now I will have to face the cats by myself. She and I have a certain disdain for the cats...in fact, I talk to her each morning about how annoying they are.....Anyway....as I prepare to say yet another good-bye, I suppose I will once again tell myself that she will be better off...and she has had a good run...

Yesterday was spent doing all of those chores that one dreads after Christmas....packing away, re-organizing, cleaning. The Husband was at work, and the kids were out playing with friends...so it was the perfect day to accomplish it.

School starts back tomorrow. Back to the routine, but the routine will be a bit different. I think it's good to mix things up a little bit. The kids are both creatures of habit, (Like their mom) so tweaking the routine makes things interesting.

So today, I'll take a few moments and get the resolutions on paper. I like to stare at them and meditate on them. Beginnings and endings, that's what life is all about...

Until tomorrow....

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T19:53:00.000-08:00

We spent the evening at the Animal Hospital Emergency Room. The dog keeps losing ground. By this morning, she could not walk. She was still eating and eliminating...but that was it. We decided it was best to go and get some things ruled out. Even at 105, we did not want to be missing something that might be easy to fix. But we were right. the vet kindly validated our assumptions. He felt that she has a tumor which is compressing her spine, slowly paralyzing her. While waiting for the vet to come in, she actually got herself to a standing position for about 5 seconds...and then collapsed. He told us that she looked great for her age..well-cared for. This made me want to cry. The kids waited in the waiting room, both scared to death to hear the outcome. Little One was a bundle of tears, while The Boy, ever the optomist, continued to list all of the reasons he thought she would be ok ("She's eating. She's pooping. Her nose is cold. She's awake. She's trying to get up"....and on and on and on. ) As The Husband carried her back up to the condo, it dawned on me that we were only hours from the New Year....

It is a very low-key, very different New Year this year. We usually have a celebration with friends, and I hope we get back to that ritual next year. But on this quiet evening at the beach, I am trying to be thankful and hopeful for the coming year. I had hoped it would be a year without the loss of a loved one....but with the dog in her present condition, that doesn't seem possible. I feel tonight the way I have felt several times in the last few years. The way you feel when you know something heartbreaking is coming, but you don't know when. I guess it is all part of the cycle of life, though I am so tired of trying to convince myself of this.

I love to make my resolutions, kind of a personal reassessment. I thought about listing them, but this year's list seems very personal. Kind of like wishes...if you reveal them, they might not come true...

I wish everyone a very Happy New Year. Don't underestimate the value of a few well-thought-out resolutions. Don't set yourself up to fail. Baby steps are the way to go. Or grand generalities like "I want to be a better person" or "I want to be more kind". I find those to be easier to keep and more inspiring. Either way, it is the first day of the rest of your life. A blank slate. A renewal..

So today, as I pack up to go home, I will visualize who I want to be in 2010..

Until next year...

A Quick Update on Life at the Beach...

2009-12-30T08:33:00.000-08:00

I took a few days off the blog. As a friend said, my life was beginning to sound like a sitcom episode, so I needed to re-group.. The beach is lovely. It is too cold to swim in the ocean, but not too cold to sit on the balcony and read.
The Husband gave me some terrific books for Christmas...all french-themed. The one I've been reading is the story of a guy who takes a year off to go write and paint in France. (Chasing Matisse) The Husband probably thinks that reading about this will quell my desire to actually do it.
I was inspired to pull out my paint brushes . This is absolutely the best place (besides France) to paint. I began a painting Monday morning, and I am almost finished. The Husband cannot understand why it takes me weeks at home to finish a painting. He doesn't understand that here, I am able to paint for hours at a time uninterrupted. The kids are happy and busy with their new stuff, and nobody is asking me to do this or that. I love the painting...these are words you rarely hear from me at this point in the painting. I usually love it the first day, and them hate it the next. Not so this time. Stay tuned...today is correction day, so I may hate it by tonight.

The dog has taken a turn for the worst. I cannot write too much about it or I will cry. At 105 years old, she is struggling. This morning, The Husband had to carry her down to go to the bathroom, and then I had to feed her and position her. The end is near. Best not to think about it. The kids are worried...she has been their best friend for their whole life.

That's it for today. Back to the painting. The New Year is only a few days away. I need to get my resolutions on paper...

Until tomorrow....

Christmas in the Holiday Inn Express

2009-12-26T14:41:00.000-08:00

Today's blog will be a little longer than usual due to the over-abundance of adventure the last few days. I would also like to say that every bit of this is true. There are those that won't believe it, but as I say often in my life, you cannot make this stuff up...

After a lovely Christmas Eve, and a terrific Christmas morning, which caused The Boy to label it "The Best Christmas Ever!" (The Boy had been worried about how the recession would affect his Christmas)...The Husband, The Boy, Little One and myself were packing to go to the beach. Besides being a nice little vacation, we needed to pack up Grandpa's condo which he had just sold. For this reason, we needed to take the big white box truck from work..referred to by my brothers as "The Beverly Hillbillies truck". I was dreading this, especially when The Husband informed me that he was going to "bring a little tile down" for one of the units. The Husband's driving is scary on any given day, but especially when you are carrying thousands of pounds of tile.

We were bringing the 15 year old incontinent dog and the two carsick cats. The idea was to put them in the back of the box truck and cross our fingers. So 5 minutes before we were suppose to leave (The Husband keeps us on a schedule). Little One was suppose to carry her cat to the truck and put her in. Unfortunately, kitty had other ideas, and she took off. Well, what happened next was really impossible to describe. The Husband let out a song of profanity never before heard on Christmas day...and he began chasing the cat all over the neighborhood shouting "If you don't get back here in 3 minutes, I'm leaving you!!" The Boy and I stared at each other, trying desperately not to laugh, and maybe wondering if that cat would, indeed, answer him.

Ok, so 15 minutes later, we were off to the beach. It was quiet in the truck due to the tenseness of the cat chase, but at least we were under way. I asked The Husband how much tile we had in back, and he mumbled something about 10,000 lbs. I asked how much the truck could hold...and he gave me a look that said "Don't ask anymore questions." This worried me even more, but I was determined to have a good attitude. Afterall, it was Christmas, and The Husband knew what he was doing, right? About 45 minutes later, we were on the interstate when we heard a huge sound. Having recently had some car issues, I recognized it as a tire blowing, but The Husband said no. He pulled off and had a look, and determined that the cats had knocked something over in the truck. His answer to this was to put the cats in the front with us. I strongly disagreed with this assesment, but my opinion was ignored. So back on the road, for the next 2 hours, I watched the inside tire slowly deflate and wobble in my rearview window. I tried to tell The Husband this, but he got very annoyed with me and told me I was "stressing everyone out". At this point, I began praying for our safety and repeating my maiden name over and over again. Not surprisingly, another half hour later, another big bang sounded. "What was that!?" yelled The Husband. "That" I replied calmly, 'was the rest of the tire unraveling. You now have one less tire."

I am assured that God was watching over us, because we were near an exit...and the exit had a hotel. Somehow, The Husband maneuvered the truck into the hotel parking lot. And it died in peace. When he got out to look...he saw that the tire was completely off. "I'll check us in" he said.

Ok, time to asses our situation. Christmas Day. Everything closed. Flat tire that is not a normal size. No food. I again said another prayer...this time asking for patience and the ability not to kill The Husband. We unloaded our bags and went to our room. The kids were ok...The Boy always finds a bright side. He had internet access and his computer and new DS games. He was good to go. Little One scouted out a snack machine and workout room. The Husband sat on the bed in depressed funk. He made one call to a local tire place and determined the situation hopeless. I was suddenly very grateful that we were alive and well...and in a new, clean hotel. I logged on my laptop and typed in "emergency 24 hour service" along with the size of our flat tire...and lo and behold...up popped the name of a 24/7 service that had that tire. The Husband reluctantly called...and a nice fellow named Chad answered and said yes, he could come and change the tire. Well, the next few seconds were crucial...as The Husband started to try and "negotiate' the price. I had to quickly give him the mother of all "Looks"...and he quickly agreed to pay the 10,000,000 dollar ransom that someone is able to extract for this type of service on Christmas Day.

From that point on, things improved. The Husband rallied a bit. The plan was to let the guy fix the tire and then unload some tile so we became "legal" weight. The Husband spilled out the whole story of the "tile weight issue" that he had neglected to tell me....and we figured that we were a couple of thousand lbs. over.

Little One dragged me to the workout room where we ran off our frustrations. Then we hit the snack machine for dinner. As we were standing there debating between pop tarts and crackers, the only other man staying in the hotel walked up behind me. He stood very close with a big grin on his face. This made Little One and myself very uncomfortable, so we were forced to hurry our decision. There is just no way to choose a proper meal from the vending machine with someone watching you.

Later that night, after the tire was fixed and the tile unloaded, we all watched 'Buddy the Elf' on tv....and I felt a huge sense of relief. It may have been a horrible day, but things had turned out ok. We had to smuggle the 15 yr old incontinent dog in for obvious reasons. She slept in the bath tub.

The next morning, we devoured the hotel breakfast at dawn and headed to Home Depot where they kindly unloaded another palette of tile for us, just for safe measure. We headed to the beach, all the while holding our breath that it did not happen again.

I have never been so happy to be somewhere safe and sound. What a relief to be here. Unfortunately, The Husband had to unload all of the remaining tile so that he could make the 4 hour trip back to the hotel this morning to pick up the remaining tile.

So all's well that ends well. The Husband promises that we will never make a trip in the truck again. This makes me very happy. And here we are at the beach. It will take me a few days to decompress. The stress level in the truck was rather high...

It makes me wonder what on earth the New Year can bring.....

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T06:11:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it is Christmas Eve already. This holiday season has flown past. Yesterday was a flurry of activity. The Tike had come for an overnight visit, and it was so much fun. I am fairly sure he has a career as an engineer in front of him. I had set out the train tracks, but he took about 4 hours to re-arrange and set up the way he liked them. He is his mother's son, as he talked and talked the entire time. The last few hours before his bedtime, I found myself responding in sign language, as my words for the day had been used up. My favorite part of his visit was when I kissed him goodnight, and I said "You are my guy." He kissed me sweetly and replied "No Noni, YOU are MY guy." I love that little guy.

This evening the immediate family will gather, and though it does not look like it use to look, it will be lovely. I am determined to focus on the future of the family, and not the past. I will remember mom and dad and grandma with love, but I will remember that life goes on...And so, on this Christmas Eve day, I am going to be indulgent and personal in my wishes:

1) Merry Christmas to Big Sis and SIL...I love you both and look forward to all that the new year brings....

2)To The Senior....you are so close, aren't you? Next year this time, you will be a grown up, huh? Enjoy each moment. and be proud that your biggest accomplishment is the adorable, loving Tike.

3) To The Boy and Little One...you keep me on my toes. You remind me that life is about the day to day routine. You make me laugh on a daily basis.

4) To all of my friends...most especially K....I love you guys. I love to laugh and you help me do that on a daily basis.

5) To my brothers....what can i say? i don't even know why I got such good ones. Every memory I have of you guys is amazing. You have always been there for me. (And I adore my funny niece!!)

6) To my brother and sister in law.....how lucky I am to have you in my family. There is history there that just cannot be replaced. I look forward to being with you soon.

7) To my father -in-law. I love you and respect you. You make me think and laugh too. I remember when you first met me...you weren't sure. A model//buyer was not that impressive in your book. And besides, I was fluent in french and not italian! But we were quick to bond...and you are a great teacher in many ways...

8) To my pastor. You are wise. I am thankful for your voice in my life. Just when things seem a bit much....you bring me back to the appreciation of life. You are a disciple of Christ.

And last but not least....The Husband. We have lived 50 years in the last 15, that is for sure. But as you reminded me recently, it's all a matter of perspective. I am extremely grateful for your ability to ride the waves in such a calm way. For all of my over-reactions...you are the under-reaction. And besides, like she said in the movie last night...'when all is said and done...he makes me laugh." Merry Christmas and I love you.

So that is it for today. As I go through the day wrapping and cooking....I will remember that this is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. And in my life, he is not just a great man, or an interesting figure in history...but he is our Lord and Saviour. And in a tiny manger in Bethlehem, the shepherds were led to him by a bright star, and ever since, he has led the way for all of us.

Merry Christmas to all, near and far.....

On The Strange Ways of 12 yr Old Boys.....

2009-12-22T06:17:00.000-08:00

The Boy came rambling in yesterday with his buddy and said he was invited to spend the night. Well, ok, not yet invited, but they were going to ask. Would that be ok? I told him to ask dad. I was getting ready to go the 'Longest Night' service at church and did not want to think about it. The Husband and I tag-teamed, meaning I pulled out as he pulled in.
I've been to this service the last 3 years. It's a solemn service meant for people who are grieving for someone this time of year and want kind of a quiet way to do it. The last few years, I drug everyone with me. First it was dad's passing, then Husband's mom, then mom. This year, nobody passed, but I still feel like I am grieving, somehow. Last year, when mom died in November, I was kind of in shock. Coming home and celebrating the holidays was kind of auto-pilot. This year, I feel the void more. Anyway, the service is somewhere you could go and cry and not worry about people thinking you are crazy. Unlike say, the grocery store, where it un-nerves people to see you cry...So I went by myself...sparing the others from tears and sadness...

When I returned, The Boy ran over and hugged me and said he would see me in the morning. They were playing flashlight tag, and then were headed to his friend's house. They had sweetly let Little One play too. (This more due to the kindness of his friend). The Husband and I settled in to what we thought was going to be a quiet evening, until the phone rang. It was The Boy, asking if plans could change and they could spend the night here. I in no way understood why this needed to happen, but I heard "brother", "early" and...well, mainly "Is that ok?" Well, why not? Ok. Come on. So 10 minutes later, in came The Boy, the friend, and ???the brother. And suddenly the whole evening changed. Because there were bunk beds that had to be prepared and a sleeping bag that had to be laid out....so I took care of it, and they watched a movie. When The Husband and I decided it was lights out time, we sent them upstairs. 10 minutes later, The Boy once again appeared at our door, explaining that the brother wanted to go home, and he needed to "walk him". ,,,,Again, when it comes to 12 year old boys...the explanation never makes sense. So ok, walk him home. I think we were all in bed by midnight...

So they were up early today...off to construct a "beaver dam" down at the creek. I have no idea what this entails...I only know that is is rare that The Boy is worried about getting his clothes dirty...but he was worried today...Oh Boy.

That is it for today. The Tike is coming over later on for a spend-the-night, so I have to set up the train set. Little One is sleeping strangely late...or doing something covert in her room....I'll hope for the first choice....

Until tomorrow....

On the Fourth day Of Christmas.....

2009-12-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

We watched old videos from previous Christmases last night at The Boy's request. I asked him why he wanted to watch and he replied very honestly "Because I like to see myself on TV". I love watching these, though this year, it felt a little more sad than usual to watch. The videos are full of Grandma, and Grandmother and Grandfather...and they are no longer with us. Or as Little One so graciously put it "At least the dog and Grandpa are still alive". We marveled at how The Boy was such a chunky toddler and Little One was such a bubbly little thing. The Husband was guessing the year by the amount of hair he had...and I was guessing it by how pregnant I was. I was once again reminded that I am in charge of holidays now. I miss the times when it was a joint discussion and effort. But it's fine and good...if it is my time to be the "matriarch", so be it. I'll give it my best shot.

Friday night was a girl's night. I met up with Big Sis, The Senior and her friend Liz. And I brought along Little One and BFF for good measure. We ate at a new Italian restaurant, and we enjoyed it. Liz grew up in our house. In fact, she feels like another daughter. She is recently engaged, and I had done a painting for her as a wedding gift. I had seen a Kenton Nelson painting in a movie that not only looked like her, but reminded me of her...so I 'copied' it. It was so much fun to get to catch up with her...she is not only lovely, but she is hilarious. Big Sis was sweet to come straight from work...and The Senior was The Senior in all her glory....She has never met a waiter that she did not view as dating material, and that night was no different. Little One added to the entertainment my dropping her coke...but all in all, it was a great evening.

The rest of the weekend was low key. The Boy was at a spend-the-night party, so the house was strangely quiet. Little One and BFF watched a marathon of Mary-Kate and Asley movies...and I finished my Christmas cards.

As the "Big Day" gets closer, I can honestly say that I am ready. This is a good feeling...one that I rarely have 3 days out. We are headed to the beach Christmas Day...so there is packing to do too...

So today, with the kids home and the preparations ready, I will look forward to having the family here. I'm going to try and focus on the true meaning of Christmas, and I am hoping that I accomplish that as well as mom and dad did.

Until tomorrow, when The Tike is coming for a "sleep over"....

This and That....

2009-12-17T05:45:00.001-08:00

Thanks to everyone who asked about The Boy. He is so much better. We discovered on Monday that he had strep throat. Yikes! Of course, we discovered this after he surprisingly told the doctor "oh yeah, my throat feels weird." Oh really?? This might have been a good piece of information to share with mom while she was trying to figure out the cause of the high fever. Anyway, as soon as we got a couple of doses of antibiotic in him, he was fine. Although he looks about 10 pounds lighter....

Little One is in rehearsals for 'Grease' at the local theater. She does not allow me to watch rehearsals, so last night, I disguised myself and hid in order to watch. Little One surprises me on a daily basis (in good and bad ways!)...but once again, I was in awe of how good she was! Excuse me for being a mom for just a sec....

The Husband would like for me to add a little addendum to yesterday's blog. He claims the wet suits were meant to be used when we vacationed at Lake George. Unfortunately, we never got there, so this did not pan out....

Two more days of school...this makes me very happy. I am so ready to not have any homework for a few weeks....

That's it for today...off to do errands......until next week.....

On Being Careful What You Ask For...

2009-12-16T06:10:00.000-08:00

There was a very funny article in the WSJ yesterday entitled "The Gift that Needs Forgiving". The gist of article was about the crazy gifts that men sometimes give at Christmas. There were stories of listerine, nasal strips and cases of chapstick. There was a fuzzy nightgown from WalMart with a picture of dogs with balls in their mouths on it. There were men's tennis shoes in a size not even close to the wife's foot...and it went on and on. The funniest line was "When you ask a man what he wants for Christmas, and he says "Nothing", he means it. When you ask a woman what she wants for Christmas and she says "Nothing", God help you if you believe her." This made me belly-laugh. I am guilty of this all of the time. I always tell The Husband "Don't worry about a gift"....but the few times he has semi-listened, I pouted.

I've written before in this blog about how The Husband is a great gift-giver. Stellar, really. If I never get another gift from him, he has done enough for a lifetime (Refer to above, Husband...I'm being gracious). Therefore, I feel like I can reveal the one time he slipped up on this title. The first year we were married, under the tree were matching scuba-diving suits...his and hers. Now, the problem with this was that we didn't scuba dive. Granted, we had gone for a couple of hours on our honeymoon....but that about summed it up. I hadn't asked for one....in fact, I was totally thrown for about a minute. Big Sis and the Senior were 'Little Ones' back then, and I remember them asking "What are those?" They have never forgotten about the scuba suits to this day...and when that particular memory comes up...many tears are shed in laughter. (Let me explain for The Husband. He loves Costco. You know that new show Modern Family? Well, did you see the episode where they went to Costco? Cam loves it...and his partner is a snob and makes fun of it, then buys out the store. This is exactly how it is with me and The Husband.....he LOVES it....I am the snob who somehow finds a cart load of "stuff" to buy......but I digress...I am absolutely positive that The Husband spotted those suits in Costco and thought to himself "Ooh..maybe we'll scuba dive one day...meanwhile, that's a great price")....and so that is the Story of the Scuba Suit Christmas.

So this year, as I search for the perfect present for The Husband, I'm thinking of hobbies that we might take up in the future....should I go with the bow and arrow? or perhaps a bowling ball? I'm not sure...I'd better head to Costco and check out the specials. And while I'm at it, I'll wrap up some contact solution and toothpaste...

Until tomorrow...

On How Much Should go Under the Tree....

2009-12-15T05:49:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, I guess about 10 years old, I remember having a perfect Christmas. I got a clock radio, which for some reason had been my heart's desire. This probably psychologically explains a lot about me...I'm not sure what it says, and I probably don't want to know...but I remember being absolutely thrilled. I also received a generic winter coat, which I don't remember very well, and a jewelry box that my big brother sent me from college. It is tough to decide which I treasured more...the radio or the jewelry box. I adored my big brother, and I would have treasured a bobby pin if he had sent that. But the beautiful musical box with the pretty lady and baby on the front that played 'Love Story' made me cry with joy. I still have that little jewelry box to this day. The radio didn't make it as long, but I do remember taking it to college a few years later.

Fast forward several years, and those memories continue to shape the way I see gift-giving over the holidays. That story is the equivalent of my dad's "I walked 5 miles in snow to get to school" story to my kids. But I am constantly reminding them that "the reason for the season" is much bigger and more important than how many video games or stuffed animals show up under the tree on Christmas morning. It is way too easy this time of year to get caught up in all of the "Did I get them enough?" hoop-a-la.

If I have learned anything in my life, it is that gratitude is one of the major keys to happiness. The ability to be thankful and appreciative for everything we are given...is a blessing and a gift. The flip side of that is that when you give someone too much, little by little, you take away their ability to be appreciative. It would be easy to use my kids as an example of this...but I'm gonna use myself instead. I am a voracious, if not obsessive reader. When I was in college, and short on money, I would trek to the local used bookstore and trade in a stack of books for another stack. I don't think I ever bought a book from a regular bookstore in those years. Now these days, I practically live at Barnes and Noble. I think nothing of picking up a book (or books, says The Husband) on a regular basis. The thought of heading to the used bookstore would not appeal to me these days. Am I spoiled? I guess. But again, it's all a matter of what you get use to.

My kids are pretty appreciative. If I get something for Big Sis, there is a thank you note in my mailbox before I get home. The Senior may not write a note, but she will call 30 times and tell me how much she likes it. (A few weeks ago, she actually called one evening just to thank me for being a great mom...wow...doesn't get any better than that). The Boy does not ask for a lot...and he has a generous heart. He is generally just as interested in what he is giving. Little One still makes the list and checks it twice....she still longs for stuff. But Little One is little...
So the challenge for me is to fight the urge to have that 5 minutes of happiness that comes from giving them too much. To fight the urge to run out and buy everything I have heard them mention. To fight the urge to give The Boy the phone even though he has not accomplished his end of the bargain on a few things. I'd love to see the smile....but yet what do I teach him if I do that? That deals aren't deals....and mom caves.

So this year, I will try and remember that restraint is the word...that gifts are not always material...that less is more.....and what is under the tree is sometimes less important than you might think...

In the end, it's up to me to continue to give them this gift of appreciation. I am ao tempted some years to over do it.....to keep asking "Do I have enough for them?". But even as I ask that question, I know the answer. The thought of their faces seeing a tree surrounded by gifts makes me smile...but the thought of them opening up a few presents and treasuring them the way I did that radio....that is priceless.

Until tomorrow....

The Yearly Gift Exchange

2009-12-14T05:41:00.000-08:00

Saturday evening, we had our yearly Christmas celebration with our BFFs. This includes dinner and gift exchange, followed by some sort of activity. The Boy has been very sick since Friday, so he made a brief appearance, and then excused himself and headed back to bed (with his wonderful football signed by all of the Atlanta Falcons in hand...what a cool gift). Little One was thrilled by her jewelry-making bead set, and she set to work immediately designing some lovely necklaces. The Husband received an assortment of 'man stuff'... but he was drawn to the flashlight that goes on the forehead. He immediately took the sick Boy outside with him to try it out in the dark. These are the things that men do. I did, however, understand how that could be useful. Little One and I will enjoy wearing it at night while we search for crabs at the beach...

I received a beautiful tray that looked like a vintage french postcard...the kind of gift that just thrills you because it is given by someone who has to really know you well...Many thanks...

After all of the gift-giving, we settled down to watch the movie 'Julie and Julia'. Now as I have discussed before, we generally alternate back and forth between guy and girl picks for movies in this foursome. Last time, we watched 'Star Trek"...which though it was a "guy pick", was actually very good. So this time was the girls' turn...Another friend of mine had suggested "Julia" to me, saying that it would be right up my alley. And it was. But I have to admit to feeling a little guilty and embarrassed after the movie. It took place in Paris, and it dealt with French, writing...specifically blogging. It was as if I had invited people over to watch me do what I like. Though the guys were gracious enough to say that it wasn't the "worst they'd ever seen"....I will definitely be taking myself out of the equation on movie picks for awhile...

The Boy and I spent the day in our respective beds yesterday...he with a high fever, and me feeling sick, but not taking my temperature for 2 reasons....I figured if I didn't know, I didn't have it......and secondly, no matter how many times I sterilized the thermometer...germs would be spread. So this morning, we are headed to the doctor. He seems to be on the mend....but 3 days of high fever has him looking really worn.

Little One is fine...except for remembering that she forgot to do some homework...oh well

So until tomorrow...let's hope for good news at the doctor.....

On Loving Friends and Keeping it All in Perspective

2009-12-10T19:48:00.000-08:00

I'm pre-blogging tonight. I spent the day translating the President's Nobel prize speech into french for some people. What had seemed like a fairly benign exercise ended up being more difficult since he used words like "nuclear stockpiles" and "intransigence" and "cultural leveling of modernenity".....not exactly my everyday french. But it was a good exercise and an interesting speech.

Tomorrow is the Little One's Christmas play. At 9:15 tonight, I realized that though I had made the 60 brownies I needed, I had forgotten the 60 small paper plates...oops...so a trip to the store was in order. I'm hopeful I don't wake up at 3:00am and remember something else I forgot.

A friend of mine is struggling. She does not read the blog, and she is not nearby, so I am not worried about invading her privacy here. For weeks, she has been alluding to a problem with one of her kids. I listened, but didn't inquire, because I just felt like she would talk when she was ready. Last night, she finally did. It all came spilling out. I wanted so badly to make her feel better. I wanted to let her know that after hearing the problem, I felt relieved. I wanted her to be able to step outside her life and look in for a minute, and see that everything would be ok...You know, "this too shall pass' and all of that. But you know, it is hard to see the picture when you're in it...and she cannot yet see that there is light at the end of this tunnel.

I've lived through similar 'stuff'. Not the same thing, but 'stuff'' that affects you the same way as a mom. After our conversation, I was acutely aware that I am at a very sweet point in my life....I have weathered the storms of the Big Sis and The Senior. They live responsible, loving lives now. They make their own decisions. On the other end of the spectrum are The Boy and Little One. They are not yet to the "scary years". They don't drive....date...etc, etc. They exhaust me more physically than emotionally. But those days are just around the corner.

So tonight, my heart and prayers go out to my friend. I want her to have some peace. I want her to have a good night's sleep. I want her to understand that better days are right around the corner. I just have to figure out how to help her see that....

As I prepare for Little One's cast party, I'll try and remember that these are the fun days...filled with the worries like "Do I have enough plates" or "Is her costume ok?".....It's all good...

Until tomorrow...

On Sarcasm and War Games....

2009-12-08T18:34:00.000-08:00

Last night, I watched 'Prep and Landing'...the new Christmas Disney show, with Little One. It was a very sweet story of some elves who messed up, and then redeemed themselves in time for Christmas. We both loved it...but I was really struck by how much sarcasm was in the show. Now I love sarcasm in it's proper place (and if I don't..I married the wrong guy, and I am friends with the wrong people)...but I don't know that it belongs on a kid's Christmas program. When you watch the old "Rudolph' or 'Frosty'...there is no sarcasm. No attempt at a "wink" to the adults. The problem with sarcasm is that your audience has to "get it"...or it just sounds mean. I worry that the little ones watching might not "get it". ...But other than that .....really cute.

The Boy made a list of games he wants for his Wii for Christmas. Now when we first bought him the Wii, the deal was that we would only get sports games to go with it. That way, I didn't have to worry about content. Well, our neighbor's son has a whole range of games and The Boy goes over and plays them on occasion. I consider him lucky that I don't go over and edit what he can do...he finds this notion appalling. So this year, he asked for something called Call Of Duty, World at War. He actually begged for it. And because I have been such a stickler on the "no phone" rule, I decided to bend. I ran to Target and asked the lady to get that game out for me. As she began to ring it up, she asked for my birthdate...Well, gosh, why would she need that? Turns out it's like an R rated movie...there is evidently so much violence and bad language in this game that you have to put an adult warning on it. Ok. No thank you. Had to hold up the line and have her void it. The thing is, I have nothing against boys playing 'war stuff'. My 3 brothers had about 1000 army men and they had daily battles all over the neighborhood. But there was no blood and gore, and certainly no bad language (well, that I ever heard). I just don't like the idea of my 12 year old watching these images over and over again. What's that I hear? A collective rolling of the eyes from my daughters.......TOO BAD. Remember, you all now thank me for not letting you watch 'Dawson's Creek' when you were 13.....

The Husband told me the latest rumor concerning Tiger...seems his wife has already bought a house in Sweden and is headed back there. "You'd already be in Paris, wouldn't you?" remarked The Husband. Well yes, I would. I didn't think that the first day, or maybe the second...but by the time the 5th woman had come 0ut with details....my ticket would have been processed. I think I am forgiving. I think I am realistic. I think I am able to evaluate my part in things......but I also believe in self-preservation. I hope this woman goes somewhere and surrounds herself with people who are kind and loving...and starts over. The end.

So that is it for today. The Husband is "working from home".....this means he is still sleeping. He has promised to bring home a tree today....and Little One has given her specifications....

Until tomorrow, with hopes of having a beautiful tree...and a day closer to the big Christmas play...

Until tomorrow....

Random Acts of Patience

2009-12-08T05:29:00.000-08:00

I was waiting in line at Target yesterday... a really long line. In front of me was an older couple, obviously enjoying themselves, chatting away with the check out girl. The man was telling her that he remembered her from their last visit. In fact, he said, she was one of the reasons they had come back to Target, because she was so friendly. Behind me, a group of collective sighs were so loud that I felt them practically push me forward. To be honest, I was feeling impatient too, having several more errands to accomplish. But as the couple left and I stepped forward, I was struck by the look on the cashier's face. Pure happiness. "Those people were so nice. They made my day. Said they came here because of me." She paused a minute. "I've had a lot of nice people lately. And then some really mean...but I just don't give them any thought." I smiled at her and took a deep breath. I hoped the people behind me had heard her. I had a quick flashback to my college days when I worked at the local shoe department in the mall 3 nights a week. I remembered how a kind person could literally make my day. And a nasty one could make me cry. I set my stuff out and began to chat with her about this and that. We wished each other a good day..and I was off to my next stop....

I dropped by Kohl's to pick up some sweats for The Boy. As I approached the register to pay, I noticed the line was once again very long. One lone weary-looking lady was ringing up. I considered putting my stuff back...but the sale price was too good...and The Boy needed some sweats...so I got in line. The next person decided to open an account. This sent the people in back of me over the edge. They started saying things like "She needs some back up. Where's her help?! They need more registers open." Well, the poor lady just continued to work, either oblivious to the comments...or not wishing to engage. When I finally reached the register, the lady behind me remarked to her, "You need some help."......The sales lady replied "I keep calling, but nobody comes." My heart went out to her. It was only about 11:00, and she looked exhausted. I felt like punching the lady behind me. Was it really worth making her feel bad? I mean, we hadn't been in line longer than 10 minutes. And it is the holiday season. Shouldn't we go in expecting that?

I thought about this all the way home. You hear a lot this time of year about "random acts of kindness". In fact, one of my best friends was just on the receiving end of some last weekend at the mall, when someone returned her debit card to her from the ATM. But maybe we should also be committing conscious acts of politeness and patience. In our texting, blackberrying, facebooking society...we have come to expect things to happen on our own schedule...and when it doesn't...we complain. From road rage...to the check out line...we feel the need to hurry everyone along...unless it is us. I'm not lecturing here...I'm as guilty of this as anyone else. I've caught myself honking a few times lately, anxious to get where I am going a few minutes faster. My initial reaction at Target was impatience when the older couple was chatting. I'm ashamed of that. What's the hurry? Isn't an extra moment to interact with someone...ask how they are...wish them a nice day....worth the time?

I'd been thinking lately of getting a blackberry...joining the world of the texters...It seemed like a good idea to be able to get a message to someone whenever the mood struck me......But today, I'm reconsidering this. Maybe...for me, at least...it's better not to encourage the idea that everything has to happen immediately. Maybe there is still some credence to the idea that we don't have to say it or do it the minute we think it. I'll give it some more thought...

So today, as I set out to run some errands, I'll remember that with each human interaction I make, I have the ability to make someone smile...or not. It is not a small thing....

Until tomorrow....

On Monday Morning Mysteries...

2009-12-07T05:12:00.001-08:00

It's hard enough to get up and going on Monday morning...but the following are the small mysteries of life that keep me frustrated, yet curious...

1) Why are there always 3 pairs of pants lying on the floor after The Boy leaves his room? We know it is not because he is trying several on for looks, because the light never comes on in the room while he gets dressed.

2) Why does Little One ask for "two more minutes of sleep" every morning, and then pass me on the stairs on the way back down?

3) Why does The Boy say he is not very hungry, and then proceed to eat 17 waffles with "lots of butter"?

4) Why does Little One refuse to brush the bottom half of her hair every morning, yet take great pains to put her headband in?

5) Why (and even more important, how) is there toothpaste on the side wall of the bathroom. I understand the sink...and the mirror...but what gestures are required to get it on the wall?

6) Why does The Boy have to watch all the ESPN highlights, even if he has seen the same ones that night before??

7) Why does Little One insist on having me straighten her hair on rainy days, when we both know it will be curly again before we get to school?

8) Why do the cats jockey for eating position every morning when they see me coming...and then try to knock ME out of the way too? Seriously lacking in basic intelligence....

9) Why does the dog refuse to eat before I go back inside? It's like a test of wills....

10)Why does The Husband let his blackberry play the wake up song 452 times until I have to go in and turn it off? Does he realize that the blackberry is the alarm...not me??

11) How can it take The Husband 39 minutes to get ready...when it only takes me 7? (Ok, I shower the night before, but still...)

So that is it for today. Monday mornings are always a little difficult, but it is the holiday season, so I am going to attempt to overlook these minor nuisances. Until tomorrow, when hopefully The Husband will fulfill his yearly duty and come home with a lovely Christmas tree....

On Elf Costumes.....

2009-12-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

I had to play hooky for a few days. I'd like to blame it on writing or painting, but that would be a lie. Just busy, everyday life stuff that needed addressing. Little One got her braces on, and unfortunately, she is in a lot of pain. I offered to let her stay home from school, but she bravely passed on the offer and said she could make it....but by the way, could I please deliver vanilla milkshakes for lunch each day since she cannot eat? Well, ok. No problem.

Meanwhile, the Christmas play is about a week away. I volunteered to co-coordinate this event...and I am happy to do so...but it suddenly dawned on me that this is an event where 50 kids and about 120 parents and grandparents have to be "refreshed". This means that a little more thought, effort, and yes, delegation, must go into the process. Now the play is "international" in subject...so we decided to put a little "European flair" into the whole production. Then we realized that the play only mentions sticky buns and potato cakes....so we had to take another direction. Back to donut holes and Christmas cookies.

The play also demands a costume. Little One and BFF are elves. Matching elves. So we spent several days online searching for elf costumes. We must have perused 100 websites for the appropriate costume...and finally, she settled on one. Now it only came in "one size fits all adults"...and Little One is VERY petite. So ever since it arrived the other day, I have been trying to get her to try it on. Well, last night, after basketball practice, on her way to bed, I made her put it on. Uh, it was a little big. Make that huge. So huge that The Husband even said "Can you take it in a little?"........A little?? Well, a tired Little One reverted back to 3 years old and threw the tantrum of a lifetime. I also reverted back somewhere ....and began reminding her that "when I was little, I would have had to make my own costume!!" .....Did I really say that? Yes, I did. And then I yelled at The Husband because....well...because he was there. And the The husband did what he always does in these situations....he whispered something under his breath which cannot be repeated....
So after a 30 minute scene, Little One calmed down. I promised to "work on" the costume and fix it to her specifications. I came downstairs and made a big show of not speaking to The Husband....and then I tried to channel the designers on Project Runway....blocking out the fact that I made a C+ in sewing in home economics (how old am I? I just said Home Ec).....I cut and trimmed and sewed....and guess what?Not bad!....Shorter, less puffy, sleeker....I was so proud of myself. When Little One came down this morning, I think I even saw a slight smile when she saw it. Now it still needs work....but I'm feeling confident in my skills.......wishing there was a runway competition at the end of the week to show it off....

So that is is for today. Off for the weekend to see my brothers. So until next week, when the big play is near.....

On Changing My Mind... Maybe

2009-12-02T06:34:00.000-08:00

Just a couple of things....

1) I may have to amend yesterday's posting on Tiger Woods after the news this morning. I'm not rushing to judgement...but all of this 'texting' stuff and women coming out of the woodwork tend to discourage me from wanting to defend him. Yesterday I felt protective...today I'm leaning towards "you made your bed, now lie in it"......But hey, too soon to have an opinion.

2) I personally did not like the President's speech on Afghanistan last night. I don't think you can defend sending 30,000 troops over there by saying that it is important for the good of the world...and then in the next sentence say that you'll bring them home in 18 months regardless of the outcome. It felt like a defensive speech crafted to appease his detractors on the left and right. To the Michael Moores of the world who want to just get out...he explained that there was real danger there that needs to be addressed. To those who think we should be sending more troops, he explained that it was a very expensive war and we could not be there on an open-ended basis. It was definitely not a "rally the troops" speech...but more of a 'well, if I have to"...not exactly what I would think our military would want to hear. I don't like that he is always so apologetic....BE THE PRESIDENT. Take a stand, whatever that is, and then state it and move on. Don't waste our time trying to justify everything. Didn't he ever hear that you can't please all the people all the time??

(One defense of him...I appreciated hearing that his delay of making his mind up on this matter did not put the troops at any risk. If you listened to the conservative press...you would have thought that he was twiddling his thumbs while the troops were waiting. Evidently, the needed troops were not requested until 2010. Shame on the press for making it seem like he was just ignoring his military advisors...)

3)On the home front, Little One is in rehearsals for two different plays: 'Grease' at the local playhouse, which requires her to dance and sing, and the Christmas play at school which requires her to be an elf and act out the lines she has written. I am not allowed to see her rehearse either one...so both should be interesting. Picking out the costume for the elf took about a week. I never knew that there were so many versions of the Christmas elf. Unfortunately, there are several"'sexy" versions on line which I had to talk her out of. She did not understand why a 10 year old would probably not want to wear stockings and heels in the 4th grade play....

4) The Boy's schedule is full. He continues to practice basketball for his team...but he also has weight training, endurance training and batting lessons. He and I look at each other every morning and say 'What sport today?"......On another note....he is in the midst of writing his first research paper. An outline had to be constructed. Can somebody explain to me why the same boy who can organize his baseball cards by color, player, size, batting average, etc,. cannot seem to understand the pertinence of an outline?

5) Thanks to those who have asked about my nose. It still hurts, but it no longer looks crooked...and this is the first morning since the incident that I have not had to put on several layers of make up to keep from being questioned by the police...

That's it for this rainy day. I'm thinking of pulling our the Christmas decorations. Little One has already reminded me to "do it better this year".....until tomorrow......

On Leaving Tiger Alone....

2009-12-01T05:21:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I came across a picture of Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin. I remember thinking that it was remarkable how this lovely young woman had been able to stay out of the lime light. In a situation (relationship) where others might have been tempted to try and share the stage with their famous spouse, she had definitely chosen another path. Except for the occasional picture with Tiger, you never saw her. She is either extremely shy or very humble.

Fast forward a few weeks, and everything has changed. Since last Friday when the "incident" took place, all you see all over the news are the few pictures of Elin that are out there. And it's not just People magazine or The Enquirer that are participating in this. Fox News had several attorneys on throughout the day yesterday discussing Tiger's 'dilema' and whether or not he was being counseled wisely by his own team. NPR did a 10 minute breakdown of the whole "situation" this morning. Everywhere you look, there are pictures of the damaged SUV, tapes of the 911 call, interviews with 'friends'....and on it goes.

Here's my take on it. Leave them alone, for goodness sakes. There was no crime committed here. Nobody is hurt or injured, besides Tiger and his pride. Why do we need to delve into the reasons or the details? If this happened anywhere else to anyone else, nobody would hear about it. The police wouldn't be involved. Now I know, I know, Tiger is a celebrity...and therefore he is subject to this kind of thing. But you know what? He has always conducted himself with such dignity and respect. Well, except for the occasional curse word....and I heard one of the news announcers say this morning that he "refused to be political too often". Sorry, I thought that was a good thing. My point is....given the stellar way these two have conducted themselves...can't we just leave them alone? The Husband said that Tiger's explanation that his wife broke the back window of his car with a golf club is "insulting". I disagree. It is either true...or it is a kind attempt to protect his wife. Given the ugly rumor and innuendo going around, there is a good chance it is the latter.
Who among us (married couples) have never had a disagreement or fight that they would prefer not to have aired publicly. I'm not saying I have ever chased The Husband with a golf club....but then again, I have never been in a situation where his bad judgement or behavior was splattered on the front of the magazines and papers at the grocery store check-out.It's always easy to jump to judgement...but the old adage "walk a mile in my shoes' surely applies here.

So without further lecture, I just hope that this holiday season, we can all remember that there is a young family at stake here...and though it is salacious and distracting to continue to delve into the details...it is kinder and more respectful to look the other way.

So that's it for today....hopefully there will be some news in the next few days that will shine the light somewhere else...isn't the President speaking on TV about Afghanistan tonight?....Until tomorrow....

Back To The Routine....

2009-11-30T05:14:00.000-08:00

It's always hard to get back into the swing of things after a holiday weekend. Little One provided a negative running commentary this morning on her feelings about the day. "I don't want to get up. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to eat breakfast. I don't want to brush my teeth."....Well, you get the picture.

The Husband and I headed to the school parking lot late last night to try and start the car that I had to leave in the parking lot last week. Dad's car may have provided me with some good memories in the past...but this last memory made me consider just leaving it there. However, after tightening several wires, it started right up....Many thanks to the 'friends' who said they were actually in line that day and 'would have stopped if they had seen me.' ....Uh, ok, yeah, thanks....However, heartfelt thanks to Mr. J, who kindly picked me up, waited in line for the kids, and made polite conversation, all the while pretending that I had not interrupted his day....
SO happy to be driving my own car this morning. The Husband was kind enough to get those tires on so quickly for me. And for those of you who are thinking that it was some sort of payback for the nose incident...you are most likely correct.

Speaking of the nose, it is much better this morning...but there is agreement among the family that it looks a little crooked. Now The Husband thinks this is because it is still bruised and this somehow "causes shading that makes it look crooked." ...Uh, ok. The Boy just said "You better go to the doctor." I say it is a good thing I am not vain (Husband is belly-laughing at this) because otherwise, the crookedness would affect my mood. I do admit to being happy that I have no appointments today. I also admit to hiding during school drop off this morning....

I went shopping on Black Friday (what does that mean?) with Big Sis and Little One. We actually only made it to one store. Little One found a lovely turquoise shirt with attached necklace which she wore the whole weekend. Big Sis scored a chic animal-print dress which I would wager she is wearing to work today. I came away with a lavatory sign that says "toilette" in french. What I really wanted was a pair of red suede 5 inch platform heels. Little One and Big Sis tried to talk me into getting them, but as I have said before, 5 inches puts me at 6'3...and where do I go these days where I need to be 6'3? I wasn't able to talk myself into them, even at the fabulous sale price...but they are still on my mind today. If I could just come up with a place to wear them...

Lastly, we had a wonderful dinner with BFF friends on Saturday night. So nice after eating leftovers for a few days to go out for a delicious meal. I had to plot out my meal, since the first thing I saw was that the chocolate creme brulee was the "special" dessert for the evening. Everyone said they were going to take a bite...but as it turned out, it was just me and Little one who polished it off....I left feeling like I couldn't move. It was the best dessert I've had in ages...but it also made me feel like I better step up my workouts a bit this week....

So that's it for today. Little One is making her stage debut as an elf in the Christmas play...so I am off in search of a costume...Until tomorrow.....

All's Well That Ends Well....

2009-11-26T16:19:00.000-08:00

The turkey was a resounding success. Not as good as The Husband's Italian Meatball Sandwiches, but pretty darn good. Now you might think that meatball sandwiches are a strange addition to a traditional Thanksgiving meal, but for those of you who know us and our last name, you know that this is the norm...

So tonight, the house is once again quiet. The Husband and The Boy have snuck off to the Hawk's game. Little One is watching her Mary-Kate and Ashleigh movie for the 10th time. Big Sis and SIL have gone home to do homework for graduate studies, and The Senior has taken the Tike home to put to bed. This is the lovely, yet kind of sad time of day. In years past, this is when Grandma and mom and I would sit around and clean and talk. But this year, it is just me. The Husband asked me last night why I seemed so stressed out about the meal this year...and I think it is because I miss not having to be in charge of the whole meal. In years past, even if I was doing the cooking, I had plenty of suggestions and advice. But hey, that is the cycle of life. It's my turn to be in charge...it just came too soon for me. So today, we used Grandma's china and mom's silverware...and it was wonderful.

So a few thank yous for today:

1) Thanks to my friend K who is responsible for my successful turkey.

2) Thanks to Big Sis who showed up this morning just when I needed her..and kicked me out of the kitchen after the meal so she could do the cleaning. Thanks and I love you.

3) Thanks to the Son-In-Law, whose humor adds a lot to our family. Your heartfelt, hummed rendition of "Come On Baby Light My Fire" was amazing....

4) Thanks to the Senior for making it over here on time with the Tike. You travelled the farthest...and the strawberry shortcake was yummy. (Little One has had 3 servings)

5) Thanks to The Tike, for taking me on a long walk on the golf course, pointing out things I would have never seen...and warming my heart.

6) Last, but not least, thanks to The Husband for maneuvering though the chaos of the day with good humor. Your sandwiches over-shadowed my turkey...but that was a good thing.

So that is it for today. A lovely day filled with family and good food. If you have your parents still with you, turn to them and tell them you love them. Appreciate them.

Until next week....

Please Let the Turkey Be Good

2009-11-26T06:19:00.000-08:00

Well, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I wasn't going to blog today, but I find that the time between 6:00am when I got up to put my turkey in, and the time when I need to actually start my other stuff...is pretty low-key. Now this being my first year cooking my own turkey, I was overwhelmed by great suggestions from all of you readers. I wrote down every single tip, and I figure I cannot miss, right???

The Husband was not thrilled last night when he saw me set the alarm for 6:00am. "Do you have to do that?" he asked. Well, I reminded him that he had said he did not want 'dry turkey'. He asked if I couldn't just "wake myself up". Well, I told him, I could try that, but we might end up eating at Burger King. Anyway, I set the alarm and stumbled out of bed at 6 to start the day. I would like to say I ran with excitement, but that would be lying. I followed the directions that my friend K had given me... her main piece of advice was 'Butter is Queen for the day...No low-fat options." This advice was making me laugh as I piled on the butter. (K, if you are reading this, I didn't just pile on the butter, I mixed the proper ingredients and slit the skin and shoved it in.)
I then debated on making coffee and staying up, but I figured I might as well get a few hours of beauty sleep since my nose is still a mess from the previous night's basketball incident. When I got back to the bedroom, I was sorry to hear that I had hit the "snooze" button instead of the "off" button...so Christmas music was blaring.....Why The Husband did not turn it off is beyond me, but I'll bet it is so he could let me know what I had done. I'm sure I will hear about it when he gets up.

I slept for about an hour, and then I actually smelled the turkey cooking. K told me I needed to baste every 30 minutes, so I decided to get up and get with it. The house is still quiet. The sun is shining. The turkey looks edible. My nose looks better. My family is near. All is right with the world.

So today...as I dispell the myth in our family that I cannot cook a turkey, I will take a moment and be grateful for all of the little things in life.

Until tonight, when I will let you know how the turkey turned out....

On Being Thankful for Flat Tires and Broken Noses...

2009-11-25T05:50:00.000-08:00

I hate to be a whiner, but I am going to allow myself to partake in it for a few minutes. Last week, I was driving around the local college campus, when my tire evidently shredded, causing my car to make a sound like Armagedon was here. It was lunch time, so every student was out walking...and staring at me creeping down the street. I quickly called The Husband and he said...and I quote...."Well, the nearest tire place is about 2 miles away. See if you can make it." I hung up on him and began the longest journey of my life. As I crept among the eyes of 20,000 students with my car howling, my tire tread was following me. When I finally reached the tire place, a man named Tommy sauntered out, took one look at my license plate, which for some unknown reason carries the school emblem of The Husband's school, and he said "You can't come in here with those plates." Now he had a smile on his face, but when he saw me start to cry, he backed down and sweetly put my spare on.

Fast forward to yesterday. I'm driving my dad's old car since my car still has the spare on. I'm sitting in pick up line with cars in front of me and behind me, when all of a sudden, my car dies. And I mean DIES. It won't turn over. I quickly call The Husband, who says...and I quote..."Why do you keep calling me with these car problems when you know I am an hour away and cannot help.".....Ok. So I hung up on him and got a guy in front of me to help maneuver my car into the nearest parking spot (of course this was after having to have everyone in line move)

So last night, when we arrived at Grandma's house, I was so happy and relieved to be here. All of the stress just left me, as I sat down to prepare for Thanksgiving. The Boy and Little One ran in and asked if I would run up to the gym with them and The Husband for a quick game of basketball. Why not? I thought. A good family thing to do. So off we went, and started a friendly, yet fairly competitive game. Halfway through the game, The Husband had the ball...and he kept scoring on me. So I decided to actually play some defense. As I stepped forward, he elbowed me in the nose...and I hit the floor. Blood went everywhere, and I saw stars. The Husband said....and I quote...."You got in my face"...... I hobbled over to the side...sobbing loudly....and The Husband quickly reminded me that everything was being taped on the security camera...so I needed to behave myself. No Problem. I couldn't move. Reluctantly, he decided to drive me back to Grandma's house, with Little One along to take care of me. Since we had no ice, he grabbed a bag of frozen peas and I held them on my nose for an hour.

Later that night, after I decided it wasn't broken, I asked The Husband how it looked. "Bruised", he replied. And for maybe the third time since we have been married, he said "I'm sorry." Well, I was sorry too...for being such a defensive whiz during the game. But all's well that ends well...

Until I saw my nose in the mirror this morning. There will be no Thanksgiving pictures of me. But that's ok. We are here...and I am happy...swollen nose and all. Many, many thanks to all of you who sent me suggestions for cooking my turkey. If I am not successful after all of these tips, I might as well just buy one next year...

So until the end of the week, when we will have celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving...with a full heart and a swollen nose...and a thankfulness for everything that life throws my way....

The Pressure To Cook Like Paula Deen

2009-11-24T05:41:00.001-08:00

I cannot believe that Thanksgiving is 2 days away. Once again, it has totally snuck up on me. Last year, I watched the Food Network for weeks beforehand, and added several dishes to my normal Thanksgiving repertoire. The problem with doing that is that now, everyone has high expectations. When I ran through the menu with The Husband, he asked "Where are your fancy dishes?". Big Sister and The Senior asked the same thing. So now, 2 days before, I am forced to scour my recipe books in order to be more creative. Usually, I just buy a ready-made turkey from the local grocer. This year, I decided to give it a go on my own. I told The Husband I would probably cook it the day before to avoid any mishaps. "NO! I don't want any dry turkey! Just get up and stick it in the oven at 3 am on Thanksgiving." Now, this is the funny thing about The Husband. He has never cooked a turkey in his life (and I don't see it happening in the future)...yet he feels the need to tell me how to do it....

We are headed to Grandma's house for the holiday, which makes me extremely happy. The only downside is the transportation of the animals.....the incontinent, 14 yr old doberman...and the 2 car-sick cats. Though the drive to Grandma's is only about 45 minutes, it will not be a pleasant one.
The Husband came through this morning and said I could "'pick out his clothes for Thanksgiving". ....Huh? I think this was some sort of trick offer. I noticed he had thrown several t-shirts and jeans on the bed to bring along. I will make a bet right now that whatever I bring and suggest he wear .....will not be worn.

Ok, that's it for today. Back to scouring cookbooks. I'm bringing the laptop to Grandma's...but it is always questionable as to whether or not I can "log on". So, until tomorrow, when I will hopefully "be on".

On Remembering to be Thankful and Happy

2009-11-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

We began the weekend by seeing a terrific movie. "The Blind Side" was both touching and inspiring. The kids loved it, The Husband loved it, the friend who went with us loved it...and so did I. I love a movie that has the kids asking lots of questions about life. I love when they see examples of people being honorable and courageous. And just icing on the cake that it was a true story.

Saturday I headed to Tennessee with a friend. A roadtrip of sorts to do some unfinished business. My mom's house has to be sorted through...there were closets and drawers to rummage though...letters to be read...memories to pack up and store away...and plenty of tears to shed. The first time I tried to do it, I failed. I took a look around and headed back home, not ready for closure. But with the year anniversary of her death just past, it was time. I loaded my car with recipe books, dishes, letters...anything that made me feel good and connected to mom. My happiest moment came when I happened upon a beautiful coat of hers that I hadn't seen in years. I had remembered her wearing it...and I had loved it. An emerald green vintagey coat with jeweled buttons and a fur collar and cuffs. It had disappeared for years...and I'd figured it was long gone. When I opened the hall closet, I spied something in a clothes bag...and sure enough, there is was. I screamed in joy..and scared my friend to death. I took it out of the bag and put it on...and it was a perfect fit...and in perfect condition. I didn't even cry. Just smiled and remembered mom.

After I finished, I stopped by to see an old friend whose husband had just passed away. She was so happy to see me that it made my day. We reminisced about her late husband, who had been very dear to me. And then in walked someone else...a guy I went to college with, who had also been a great friend. After an afternoon full of reminiscing and tears, it was so good to see someone who immediately patted me on the back, made fun of me, and reminded me of that some good people and times have passed...but there are still good ones ahead. By the time I left, I was laughing again.

On my way back home, I stopped to see both of my brothers. As I've written before...and as corny as it sounds...I have the best brothers in the world. Loving, thoughtful, kind....not to mention VERY funny. I cannot be around them for long and stay in a sad mood.

By the time I made it home, Little One had gone off to spend the night with a friend...and The Boy and Husband had exhausted every fast food outlet, and settled in to watch some horrible movie. Home Sweet Home.

So today, on this week of Thanksgiving.. I am thankful for friends...old and new. For family near and far. For memories, good and sad. And for those at home waiting for me...

And today...a Very Happy Birthday to The Senior, who I love and cherish....I hope your classes are quick and easy today....and I hope the coming year is everything you want it to be...

Until tomorrow.....

On Basketball Practice and The Morning Drop-Off

2009-11-20T05:37:00.000-08:00

The basketball practice went well last night. It started off a bit rocky, with The Husband giving instructions on picks and screens. I glanced around and saw some blank looks on the faces of our 9 and 10 year old girls. One little girl had tears in her eyes, but I was relieved to find out it was just dust, and not fear. Two of them leaned over and said to me "What is he saying?" I waited for him to finish his talk on the importance of the pivot foot...and then I quietly suggested that he 'dumb it down' a bit. Afterall, it was the 9/10 Pewee League and not the Atlanta Hawks. To his credit, The Husband took a deep, impatient breath, and went through a slow, thorough review. By the end of practice, I saw many smiles on the girl's faces. I think they had fun and learned a little bit, which is what it is all about. Unfortunately for The Husband, our last year's record of 7-1 may be hard to re-achieve....

Yesterday I had lunch with my 'morning crew". This is one guy and one girl who also participate in the tedious ritual of morning drop-off line at school. The guy has been doing this for 8 years, I think...and the girl for 7. I am the 'baby' of the group, having only been at it for 3 years. Last year, the 3 of us participated in what could only be described as the "Amazing Race". It was a cut-throat daily race to see who could get there first and drop off the kids. As the year progressed, so did the danger of the driving practices. I almost found myself reaching for a helmet and driving gloves after being cut off and "put in the wall" several mornings. Of course I would never do this, but some participants may have actually shoved their young daughters out the door in an effort to win. The guy in the group changed the rules near the end of the year, as men sometimes do when they cannot win. He decreed that it was the first car to LEAVE that was the winner...not the first car there. Well, the danger factor that was involved with this became too much...and the 'Race' had to come to an end before someone was injured...

So this year, morning drop-off is more about discussing what was on TV last night or the latest gossip. The problem is, you start a conversation...then the line moves...and you are forced to dive back into your car, or else be run over. So it was nice yesterday to sit down and chat with the group and finish some conversations. When you have to deal with tired, grumpy kids on a daily basis, it is nice to be able to share a few laughs over it....

And finally, thanks to The Husband for watching the season of Project Runway with me...and with very few smart alec remarks. Last night was the season finale....the final 3 girls put together a runway show and competed for the prize. The husband demanded that I pick a winner...and he did the same. He did this because he knew who I liked...and he thought she wasn't going to win...but she did. I was very gracious in my "winners' speech....

So that's it for the week. We're doing a family movie tonight...and then I am off on a road trip of sorts this weekend...more on that next week....

On Agassi and The Pewee League

2009-11-19T06:04:00.000-08:00

I've been engrossed for 2 days reading the Andre Agassi autobiography. I wrote about it a few weeks ago after reading an exerpt about his crystal- meth use. I was disgusted at the time because I thought, here we go again...another athlete/celebrity that feels the need to reveal that they used drugs. But once again, the real lesson learned here is to withhold judgement until you get the real story. Doesn't that seem to be the case more and more as you get older? It's so easy to jump to quick conclusions about people or situations, but the real truth is never that easy.

A friend e-mailed me the other day and said that she had literally not been able to put it down for a week. She warned me not to start it if I had a busy week...but I was intrigued, so I ignored her warning and picked it up. Well, she was right. From page one, it is very "intense". The guy you thought you knew as this brash, showy tennis player has led a very interesting, though sometimes troubled life. The drug use reference is one brief chapter, though the consequences last for several chapters. Without giving anything away, his life has been nothing like any pre-concieved notions that you might have had about it. I'm not sure that there are any lessons to be learned from it, but it is very compelling. And so that is the book review for the week...

Little One has basketball practice tonight. The Husband is the coach and I am the assistant coach. Though the titles were reversed last year, the results were pretty much the same. The Husband's role is much like it is at home...lead and order. My role is much the same as it is at home too....support and explain. Drafting the team took place a few weeks ago. The Husband took on this job with total seriousness. He researched players, made notes and watched try-outs. In the end, he drafted what he felt like was a pretty good team. So....you can imagine the reaction when the league informed him that he was "losing a player and gaining another due to un-foreseen circumstances." The Husband was suspicious right off the bat. He doesn't really believe in "unforeseen circumstances." Now evidently, one of the girls on the team had a sister, and their mom wanted them to play on the same team. As a mom, I totally understand this from a logistics standpoint. But The Husband wasn't having any of it. He immediately wanted to know the differences between the girl that he was giving up, and the girl that he was gaining. Unfortunately, he was losing height and age...This did not go over well with The Husband. Thus began a series of contentious e-mails between he and the rec league...."discussing" the fairness of the whole situation. The Husband insisted that he had been given a "crappy trade"...and the league insisted that...well, basically, this is rec ball, and you take what you get. After a couple of days and a practice, The Husband calmed down and decided that he would just have to do the best he could with what he had.......until he got another call telling him that another girl had been added to the roster. Then it started all over again.

So tonight, as we head to practice, I will be wearing dark glasses and a wig as we sail into practice past the rec staff. The Husband insists that they know his remarks are "all in good humor". I am not so sure...

Agassi's book is entitled "Open"...I highly recommend it. Meanwhile, I'm thinking of writing one about The Husband entitled "Screwed By The Pee Wee League...A Coach's Story"...

Until tomorrow...

Paintings and Pictures

2009-11-17T05:43:00.000-08:00

The painting is well under way. I have already moved though several stages...the normal ones I go through in the painting process. Immediately after I get the sketch on the canvas, I love it. I stare at it for several days and compliment myself many times over. I fantasize about how this will be my best painting ever. But I don't begin, thus putting off the inevitable dive in confidence that comes when I actually put brush to canvas. No matter how good the sketch is, the first few days of painting are difficult. Mixing the colors on a palette is one thing, but actually seeing them on the canvas is another. There will always be colors that are incorrect. And once the color goes on, any imperfections in the sketch that didn't show, all of a sudden GLARE. The first few days on this painting were no different. The Boy said "Her face looks weird...wrong color." Little one said "Her eyes look funny." The Husband, who stands in front of it while eating his dinner, said "I'm not sure about the lips. are those right?" WELL NO. THEY ARE NOT! No matter how many times I explain that the the first strokes will always have to be corrected....my lovely family always has to let me know that ....so far......not so good.

Then things shift. A couple of days into it, the colors and shapes begin to take shape. All 3 of my critics run by the painting, and then stop and stare. They then look at me and smile and nod. This is when I know I'm on the right track....So that is where I am this morning. It's moving in the right direction. I'm anxious to get started...so very quickly...

Saturday, I took Little One and headed to grandma's house to meet Big Sis and her friend Lindsey. As I said yesterday, Lindsey is a great photographer, and we had arranged a little photo shoot. I needed some "edgy" photos for a project that I am not ready to discuss. (Wow, isn't that a great tease?) Anyway, I gathered together a group of clothes that are much more...let's say fashion forward...than my everyday school drop-off clothing. My friend and stylist Elizabeth met me at the house, and I thought she was going to cry when she saw the clothes. (it has evidently been awhile since I have dressed in the chic manner which she likes.) I walked out in a mini-dress, boots and leather jacket. Elizabeth literally jumped up and down. Little One stared at me like I was from another planet. Then she smiled. "Ok, let me choose your next outfit."

So for 2 hours and 10 outfits, the 4 of us played dress up and model. It was so much fun watching Lindsey at work. Big Sis was her mouthpiece, stylist and prop-girl, switching out jewelry, makeup and props whenever necessary. I morphed from go-go boots mom, to evening gown diva, to jeans and boots farm girl. Little one was her usual vocal self, exclaiming from time-to-time "Mom! Stop Posing. Look Natural!!! No. Not that smile. Relax!!" If only I would have had her direction back in my modeling days....

Big Sis has just e-mailed the pictures to me this morning. I haven't looked at them yet, but regardless of the outcome, it was a successful day. What can go wrong when you have 5 girls, beautiful clothes and a lovely setting?

So until tomorrow, when the picture on the canvas will hopefully look good, and so will the pictures from the shoot...

Don't Throw it So Hard...

2009-11-16T05:08:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday night, The Boy challenged The Husband and Little One to a basketball game. I thought this was a great idea until I realized that I was part of the mix. Evidently, in order to make things fair, I would be on The Boy's team. ("Mom, dad and I would clean your plow.) Now I tried to avoid the game, as I was tired and ready to read my new book. But as he often does, The Boy begged and begged until it was either give in or explode. We were winning handily (no thanks to me) halfway through the game, when OUCH...The Boy threw a bounce pass that took a bad bounce and hit me in the mouth. Having just recovered from the head butt incident on dance night, when his buddy decided to throw his head up while I was putting on his makeup, my lip once again blew up. This time though, I was worried that a tooth might have been jarred loose....but I lucked out. All teeth were in tact. The Boy apologized profusely, and The Husband, ever-mindful of me-instructed him to "throw soft passes to your mom...she's a lightweight." We went on to win the game...and I went on in to find an ice pack.

The next night, The Boy was once again lobbying for a game. My lip was back to normal, and hey, it was Friday night. So I agreed. Once again, The Boy and I were winning, and this time, I was actually scoring some points. Feeling confident, I ran to guard The Husband as he dribbled around. Suddenly...and without warning...he decided to channel Michael Jordan and try a behind-the-back pass to Little One. There were two problems with this. 1) He didn't look where he was throwing it. 2) He fired it as hard as he could. Now, thankfully, it did not get to Little One, because it would have knocked her over. Unfortunately, it hit me square on the face. I think I may have blacked-out for a second, awaking to hear The Husband laughing and saying "Oops...sorry. Why didn't you move?". Now The Boy rushed to my side to make sure I was ok. Little One ran over and kicked The Husband in the shins, shaming him for "hurting mom". Finally, The husband strolled over and patted me on the back. "Sorry hon. Didn't see you there."

Minutes later, after I was again conscious, and we had resumed the game, Little One burst into laughter. "What's so funny?" I asked. "Sorry mommy, but it really was funny when you got smacked with the ball." ......Aren't kids sweet?

Sunday was the big wedding anniversary, but The Husband and I decided to celebrate Saturday night. After a last minute change of venue, due to an in-town football game, we had a lovely dinner at an out-of -town 'bistro'...perfect, because I got a bit of 'fru-fru' food that I like...and he got to keep an eye on the games. All in all, a great compromise....just like our marriage. And so I have to be very serious for a moment and thank The Husband for being himself for all of these years. It's not always easy...but it's always interesting with him by my side. What he may lack in compassion and sensitivity...he makes up for with humor and action. So between the two of us, hopefully, we've got "it" covered.....If he's read this far into the blog this morning (doubtful), I'll remind him that he said that Paris was in the thought-process for future anniversaries.....

And lastly, one of the high points of the weekend was a fabulous photo shoot with Lindsey McDowell.. Lindsey is a close friend of Big Sister's, and a terrific photographer. I needed some 'edgy' photos taken...and I needed to have fun doing it. So until tomorrow, when we will discuss the photo shoot...and I will avoid any further basketball games....

So Much To Celebrate

2009-11-13T05:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I am just so happy this morning. For the first time in a week, I am not at logged on at the library or on borrowed time on The Boy's or Husband's laptop. I am on my own, new, fabulous laptop. I can't decide if it feels like I just bought a new car...or the first day of school. Either way, it feels very exciting.
After throwing a bit of a tantrum...and then pouting whenever The Husband pulled out his laptop...it was finally agreed upon that I would research and pick out my own. I haven't felt this independent since I bought my first car. These are the types of decisions that I rarely get to make in this household. My set of decisions involve what kind of cereal to buy or what day Little One needs to go to the dentist. So yesterday, as I went from place to place, researching and trying out different types, I was filled with the joy that only comes from knowing that The Husband did not get to tell me what to do....

Since I had driven an hour to shop for the laptop, I decided not to waste the mall time, as I rarely get a chance to shop on my own. Bouyed by the fact that I would soon be writing to my heart's content, I was suddenly filled with energy...so I did some Christmas shopping. Can I just say that there is nothing better than Christmas shopping early in the morning when nobody is at the mall but you and the mall-walkers...with a cup of Starbuck's non-fat latte in your hand? Ok, let me ammend that...The only thing better is when you know you are going to lunch at your best friend's house...and she is THE best cook in the world....and she has promised to make her famous quiche and creme-brulee. Just the anticipation alone was enough to make my day.

On a side note, I would like the Niece to know that, yes, of course, I perused J Crew. I had carefully studied my catalogue, so that I knew what items to check out...and yes, since I did have a reward card...purchases were made. The cropped khaki pants with the black stripe down the side were even better in person....the lavender ruffle blouse was lovely...and there were a whole new set of perfectly cute t's....but enough of that....

Lunch with the BFF was perfect on so many levels.The afore-mentioned quiche was delicious...the salad, the bread...and oh my gosh...the creme-brulee. But all of that paled in comparison to the conversation, because the BFF is what I imagine having a sister to be like. We covered every subject from kids to Paris to global warming. It was Heaven. Many thanks to her for her friendship...and the creme-brulee.

Last night, as I proceeded to set up my OWN computer...oh the joy of saying that....The Husband suggested that I decide on a place to eat for our upcoming anniversary. I threw out a few places...but he told me to choose..as it is "mostly for me." Just for fun, I checked out what was playing at the foreign-film theater downtown. This quaint little theater shows eclectic films...and you can also eat at the nearby fru-fru bistro. Well...I couldn't believe it.....They were showing Audrey Tatou in 'Coco...before Channel"......and in FRENCH!! ...with subtitles of course....Well, I asked The Husband if he would be up for that night of perfection...and he stared at me with the look that only The Husband can give...which if I translate it, says "You mean you just got a new laptop and you are now asking for me to attend a film with subtitles?"....Now he did not actually say this...he just said "Uh, no". But you know what? ...that is ok. I do not mind going to that lovely little film all by myself . Because you know what, an anniversary is suppose to be a shared thing, right? A celebration of putting up with each other for all of these years....

So today, I'm basking in the glow of typing on a new computer...filled with new ideas.....I feel as if I can now write the great American novel....and if not, I can at least write a riveting article on which produce is on sale at the local grocery store.....................The painting is finally under way, and the weekend is upon us.......And until next week, when I will have celebrated another anniversary.....and I will have this nifty laptop to write about it......

Just Do It

2009-11-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I was watching a movie, and as I often do, I noticed the beautiful artwork in the background. I enjoyed it so much that I researched the paintings. For the first time in a long time, I felt the urge to pull out my paints. I decided I would paint something similar to one of the paintings in the movie, but put my own spin on it. I had the idea in my mind for several days, but I procrastinated doing the sketch. This is the same paralysis that sets in every time I begin a painting or an article. The insecurity that makes me ask myself "Can I do it again?"

It reminded me of my first art project in college. As I've said before, I began my college "career" at 16 as an art major at a small liberal arts college. In one of my classes, we were to sketch an idea, and then create the sketch in some kind of media. I was going to sculpt something, though I had very little experience in sculpting. There was a guy in my class...we will call him Bob Valentine (because that was his name). Bob was a 5th year senior. He was a terrific wrestler and football player, and he was one of several "Jersey" boys who were at this school. He was also the most talented artist I had ever met. He sat next to me in drawing class, and as we would both sketch the model for the day, I would be mesmerized by his drawing. From time to time, he would reach over and make a "correction" on my sketch (out of sight of the professor)...and then we would continue. I learned more from his "corrections" than I did from the professor.

Anyway, I decided to do this sketch of praying hands, with the idea of sculpting the hands after I perfected the sketch. But I struggled with the drawing, never getting it the way I wanted it. One evening, I bumped into Bob in the student center (this tells you a lot about my college days) and he took a look at the sketch. He gave me some suggestions, and told me to meet him there the next night. This went on for several evenings, until finally he said to me "What are you waiting for? The sketch is fine. You're putting off the sculpting." I realized he was right. I was afraid of not being able to accomplish what I had in mind...so I just kept putting it off.

After all of these years and many, many paintings, I still get the same feeling. Once I finally sat down the other day and did my sketch, I was very pleased with it. The Boy examined it and brought in his friends to look at it. Little One, who rarely bestows praise, said "Wow, you're pretty good." The Husband just nodded...and a few days later he noted "You know, it's not going to paint itself, is it?"

Well, not it's not. So today, I am going to force myself to put the first brush stroke on the canvas and get it started. Who cares if it's perfect, right? (Well, I do) But at least it will be a start. A reminder that the only way to accomplish something is...like the Nike ad says....Just Do It...

By the way, I did eventually finish sculpting those praying hands. They weren't perfect. They weren't as spectacular as Bob Valentine's project. But I think I made an A-..and I gained a bit of confidence.

So until tomorrow, when hopefully the painting will begin to take shape....

On Being Out of Touch on So Many Levels...

2009-11-09T15:43:00.000-08:00

I'm all about my routine. I find a sense of security in going through the same little rituals each day. Nothing OCD or anything, but just a certain comfort level that I get from continuity. So today, I'll admit it. I'm thrown. The Husband carted off my laptop when I when I went to the zoo last week. It was evidently "infected with viruses". But all I know is, it was working. When I returned from the zoo, it was not in it's spot. The "spot" is my little area that is designated as my "office". This is the spot I begin every morning, checking my mail and channeling through the news of the day. The spot where I return after taking the kids to school to write something hopefully creative and inspiring. The spot where I write this blog for the first 25 minutes of my day...
Anyway, I was promised that it would be back today...but when I flipped on the little switch...nothing. I glanced around to see everyone else woring on theirs...The Boy, the Husband...but mine DOES NOT WORK. The Husband was kind enough to call the technician who supposedly fixed it. After a brief exchange of ideas, I heard the dreaded words. "I'll bring it back to you tomorrow." That means another day of being out of touch. Another day where The Husband sends out e-mails that he knows will annoy me since he knows I cannot respond. Not that I want to. I'm in cave mode lately. This is a stage I pass through occasionally when I prefer to remain silent. But still...I like to know I can respond if the mood strikes me.

If you work from home, I'm sure you can relate to this. I leave my mail on every morning for 2 hours. This is the time when I correspond with friends, family and blog readers. This is 2 hours of the day when I don't try and stay focused. I write during this time, but if someone sends something funny, I'll take a break and respond. I look forward to this time of day.

I was a fish out of water this morning. I have a canvas set up in my office. The sketch for the painting is 90% complete. All I have to do is BEGIN. I thought this would be a good day to start it. But I just stared at it for an hour. I just couldn't get going. I organized my paints. cleaned my brushes...all of those little things I do to kill time when I've "got nothing". No creative juices flowing.

Unfortunately, I'm feeling the same way tonight. I don't like to "pre-blog". What I think I am going to write about at night is rarely what I end up blogging about in the morning. So tonight, as I check my mail and write this blog on The Husband's laptop...I feel a little disconnect. To those of you who follow the blog...give me a couple of days to regroup. As you're probably thinking as you read this...I'm off my game. I need my comfort zone....I need my OWN computer....

So until tomorrow...or the next day...when hopefully my computer will re-boot along with my creativity...Who knows...maybe I'll start the painting....

The Big Zoo Trip

2009-11-07T18:26:00.000-08:00

22 hours after I boarded the little bus with 9 other parents, to follow the big bus of 50 kids, 2 teachers and 1 principal, I stepped off and back into the real world. It almost felt like it had been a dream...and some parts had been very, very scary....

The ride down was like the high school bus. Guys in the back and girls in the front...except for a few brave women who were willing to listen to the men discuss a magazine cover of Shakira in graphic terms. I felt fortunate to be sitting with the mother of Little One's BFF...she dove into the seat next to me and begged me to stay with her the entire time...ok, maybe it was the other way around. Either way, we chatted and ate our sack dinners and tried to ignore the loud conversation in back...At one point, my friend whispered, "I could have gone my whole life without hearing that."

Earlier in the day, a friend had suggested that I could find airplane bottles of vodka at the package store to add to my sack dinner....However, it was imperative that I be at my best since I was chaperoning, so I stuck to diet coke...

It was dark when we finally reached the zoo, so we dove right into the 'night crawler' activities. We examined swamp water, used night vision glasses to watch kangaroos, and petted chinchillas. The kids had a blast. At the mid-point, we were suppose to have a "snack". I was absolutely starving, having skimped on my sack lunch dinner. Unfortunately, I forgot it wasn't snack time at the Ritz...there were no homemade cookies and tea...but rather watered down lemonade out of an old cooler and a pack of stale animal crackers (get it? animal crackers at the zoo). I tried to get a second pack of crackers, but they removed the box before I could casually sneak over.

Around 10:30, we returned to the big building where we were to sleep. I was a bit discouraged to see that most of us, men, women and kids...would be sleeping together in one room together. Little One and BFF scouted out an excellent spot in the back corner for our sleeping bags. Principal had kindly brought air mattresses for the chaperones, so we set up our area like good little campers, and then went to the communal bathroom to get ready for bed. I was shocked at the sight of several 4th grade girls primping for bed like they were dressing for a party. Of course, they were sleeping in the same room as the boys...but still......I was relieved that Little one refused to brush her teeth and her hair.

After everyone had climbed in their sleeping bags and the teacher had told her amusing bedtime story, light were out. I was so tired. Little One and BFF were already breathing heavy...And then it started. One of the dads began snoring...and not just your normal snoring, but your 'rock the rafters' snoring. Then one of the little girls began coughing...and not soft coughing, but the kind of coughing that sounds like you are losing a lung. And listen, before you think "gee, she should be more compassionate...it's a little girl"....just stop. At 3:00 in the morning, when you are listening to snoring and coughing in tandem...you are allowed to lose a bit of compassion. At 4:00, I cried. Really. I have never wanted to be home so badly in my whole life. Then I reminded myself that there were soldiers fighting wars and homeless people freezing in the streets...and I dried my sissy-girl tears and dozed off for about 30 minutes...

The teacher came in singing at 7:00. I felt delirious..but I knew if I could just hang on, there would be coffee shortly. We dressed quickly...packed our bags and loaded the bus. Then we headed to breakfast. The zoo staff reviewed the eating rules...including how we should not waste food and recycle everything. When they finished their talk, the adults raced to the coffee pot. Then I went to check on Little One. Now usually, she eats 3 bites of a pancake for breakfast. So what had she chosen?? 2 muffins, cereal and juice. I cringed, knowing that she would take 3 bites and leave the rest...and the staff would be glaring....So I did what any self-respecting mother would do...I finished every bit of her left overs.

Stuffed and exhausted, we headed out for our morning tour. We had a terrific guide. Justin was about 25, very knowledgeable, but even more important...funny. The tour was like a good Disney movie...80% for the kids..20% for the adults. From time to time, he would walk back to the adults and tell us something so funny that I would literally belly-laugh. After the tour, we broke onto our groups for an hour of free time. My group wanted to hit the gift shop. This was fine, except for the one girl who had about $50, but thought she had $300. She would bring various combinations of "stuff" to me and ask me if she 'had enough". After much editing, she finally settled on her "stuff". We headed to the meeting area, ate our sack lunches...and boarded the bus....

On the way home, the dads gave a play-by-play of their day...Does anyone ever notice how men can exaggerate their importance in any situation?? ..

Upon returning to the school, I literally said a prayer of thanks. It had been a fun trip for the kids...and I was truly glad to have been part of it...and truly glad to be home....

I didn't get to write about it that night because my computer is on the blink. The Husband offered me his computer to write...as long as I would let him edit......uh, NO. So a day later, I snuck in and "borrowed" it to get this written...

So until Monday, when hopefully my computer will be 'healthy" again...and I will have recovered from the big Zoo trip....